To judge and think you stupid stupid woman!

[lifeistooshort]

Generally when it comes down to other people parenting I try not to be judgey. We all have our individual circumstances and parenting is hard.

But last night on my commute back from work. I did put my best judgey pants on. Woman stopped behind me in the car acting all cool as a cucumber with shades on etc...and then I spot a you child (around 3years old) roaming in the car. Coming next to mummy, standing in the middle etc... I was absolutely horrified that the child was not in a car seat and safely strapped in. He wasn't even seated. Why why why would anyone do that to their child? A smallish bump would probably have been enough to send him flying in the windscreen. So AIBU??? I had to really restrain myself not to get out of my car and talked to her.

Tigger, I think the families piled together on scooters and perching on pickup trailers are simply doing what's necessary in the circumstances. I'll add crammed - mostly standing - in the back of a beach buggy / jeep type thing where I used to live, as buggies were far cheaper than cars.

People in such conditions do die (a lot) more frequently from road accidents. It's not their fault they can't have a nice, safe car with nice, safe child seats.

Ouch, meddie, that's horrible :(

I can see what you're saying, Contessa, but I still feel that if you're aware of car seats and why they're there, then if you actually care about your child then it would be a no brainier. It wasn't built in to me, I'm older, they weren't around when I was small. But it was not something I would take a risk with. Buying one was just taken for granted. My oldest was born in '89.

Garlic I live in Britain (England to be precise).

Yadnbu op that's so irresponsible.

But I also have fond memories of a family car with one long seat in the front with a gear stick in the middle where the whole family could sit.

Some kids are brilliant at escaping car seats. I drove my three year old niece somewhere once and refused ever to take her anywhere again becaise she would not stay in her car seat... how she undid it I'll never know, but she did, repeatedly! Not just in my car seat either, in the one her parents had, the one mum had... she was a nightmare!

Welsh - dd1 escaped from her impact shield this week. I hope it's because in my haste I hadn't done the belt as tightly as I could have, ie that it was preventable. She hasn't tried since, probably because I shoved it so hard when I put her back in I nearly broke her ribs

I may be having trouble understanding you, Tigger, unless you meant "there is no bloody excuse apart from not giving a shit about your child or not being able to afford a car." ?

If that's it, we may have been talking at cross--purposes :)

I'm talking about car seats, garlic. Not commented on the bike thing.

Skrewt (re. post @ Fri 10-Jun-16 11:34:16) why on earth did the police give her your name and address? Did you complain about them doing that and ask why?

I thought kids had to be strapped in?

Elsie - they do. Sadly, not everyone obeys the law.

Peridot I was so shocked and a big bit intimidated by this woman's aggression plus her reputation (which I heard about after she first contacted me) as a bit of a loon with form for attacking people who crossed her that I withdrew my statement immediately and never went near the police again - I told them why but they weren't fussed. They did agree that it wasn't normal to have given out my name & address.

My boss reported her to the police along with the reg and the police took the screen shots from the drivethru cameras we dont know what happened afterwards they never got back to my boss

trilby you shoved your daughter so hard you nearly broke her ribs wtaf

fair enough lily glad they did something

contessa its not instilled in us -iirc the general seatbelt rule didnt come in till eighty three and then im not even sure about kids seats but much later

we just see how awful it is and abide by the law

My point is that some people come from places where this isn't as enforced and will simply never put the same emotional/practical weight on the importance of car seats as you all do. You seem to have it built in; they don't.

When you live somewhere you have to abide by the laws of that place. In the UK that means children under 135 cms must be in a car seat, no arguments. You don't get to pick and choose which laws you agree with.

I never said you got to decide whether to follow the law or not, just that it might not have the same obviousness and urgency to you that it would to someone who'd lived with that law all their life.

Obviously it is safer for kids to be in car seats, that's not in dispute.

I was sat in a queue at some traffic lights this afternoon when a car came speeding along the wrong side of the road and turned into a side road. Young children hanging out of the sunroof from the waist.

I judged so hard it hurt!

Lily - the impact shield, not DD. And that's obviously an exaggeration.