To judge and think you stupid stupid woman!

[lifeistooshort]

Generally when it comes down to other people parenting I try not to be judgey. We all have our individual circumstances and parenting is hard.

But last night on my commute back from work. I did put my best judgey pants on. Woman stopped behind me in the car acting all cool as a cucumber with shades on etc...and then I spot a you child (around 3years old) roaming in the car. Coming next to mummy, standing in the middle etc... I was absolutely horrified that the child was not in a car seat and safely strapped in. He wasn't even seated. Why why why would anyone do that to their child? A smallish bump would probably have been enough to send him flying in the windscreen. So AIBU??? I had to really restrain myself not to get out of my car and talked to her.

anonymous this is madness.

We were stopped for a while. She had plenty of time to put him back in a seat and strap him but there was not attempt to do so.

I did wonder if I should have taken the plate registration and now feel that I should have. Crossed with myself. I guess sometimes you are so stunned by something that you don't react properly.

As someone mentioned though in some other countries, it might be acceptable but there is a lot of information/education here.

Yanbu.

Last week I saw a family in Tesco, I was getting out my car with DS as they were getting in- 2 kids, about 12 months and 4 years, 2 parents. 2 car seats in the back. 4 yo jumped in the front seat, no car seat or booster. Dad gets in drivers seat and mum gets in the back, moving one of the car seats in to the boot! And then popping the baby on her knee! The baby seat was right next to her! I hoiked my judgy pants up.

DS was a car seat Houdini too. So we got him an impact cushion seat he couldn't escape from. Cause, yunno, "kids will be kids!" wasn't going to fly as justification if I had a prang and he died.

EmWithMe. You must have perfected the stare 😁 What time shall I come back for the update?

Tbh & serious, if she's been doing this for ages I'd ring the police.

I suppose we should all be grateful that this is a rare sight now.

But YANBU, judge away

I've seen this before too. Three children in the back of the car, none of them strapped in, climbing all over the place. The driver was only driving at circa 15mph holding up about 20 cars behind him. The car had a foreign number plate though so maybe they just didn't realise how strict UK laws are.

Flying we were in stop start traffic at a roundabout and there was plenty of time to at least attempt to talk to the child or strap him back in. I could have got of my car, talked to her and back to my car (which I considered doing). I think this is what shocked me the most, that she did nothing and carried on looking cool as a cucumber. Unforgiveable in my books.

Horrified but not surprised at the stories about toddler injuries. So sad and so avoidable

I was going to ask if this was 1973. Although dad always made us sit down.

By all the stories on this thread I am also surprised that it doesn't seem uncommon at all!

This is probably the only thing in do judge these days. I'd understand if the parent looked like they were frantically trying to deal with the situation but mostly I think it's parents who couldn't care less.

I get judgey when - for very good reason - the law in involved.

Obviously parenting requires you to take a unique approach to daily conventions; kid will only wear batman outfit? Fine, pick your battles. Kid only eats beans and yoghurt or will starve? Fine, I'll throw away your dinner. Don't want to shout at your kids but honestly sometimes you just have to because Christ knows you're working damn hard to hold it all together?? I will not judge you! Because, you know, parenting.

But breaking the law and risking your child's life because, you know, parenting? No. Obviously slip-ups happen and your child "houdini"s their way out of their car seat mid-journey and your absolute top number 1 priority is to strap them back in safely - FINE. But to throw your hands in the air and be like "nope, won't bother with the carseat because kidz be difficult" does not cut it IMO.

My kids used to do horrendous things. ds3 unbuckled baby ds4's car seat from the seatbelt restraining it once and the whole seat tipped forward when I stopped at traffic lights. I jumped out immediately and got in the back with ds4, checked he was ok ( he was thankfully) and buckled him back in. Cue lots of people blaring their horns at me as if I had stopped in the road to have a picnic! Read ds3 the riot act!
Just letting them wander around the car is terrible if you are aware that's what's happening.

emwithme Note the reg and if she drives off with the child unrestrained today, phone the police. Please.

eats the thing is , it is the law here, to at least strap your children in, but it's not upheld at all. Madness.

call the police on 999. I have done it twice for babies not in car seats. Once was in central London and they said they would quickly pick her up on the cameras, the second time was in the Suburbs, they asked where it was and the direction of travel and said they would send a car out to look for her.

See it all the time here, sadly.

I have called the police in this situation.

I am a fairly lax person about many things, but I have always been religious about seat belts. I immediately pull over if anyone in my car unbuckles his/her seatbelt or gets out of a car seat.

I would be aghast at seeing what you saw and I think I would report it. In fact, I am such a maniac about car safety that I reported both my neighbor and my own father for potentially hazardous driving. My neighbor had her license revoked for drunk driving and my father had to undergo re-testing for driving privileges, which, interestingly, he passed with flying colors.

It's awful and shouldn't have been done but as lifeistooshort says in the 70s (when I grew up) we didn't have safety booster seats etc but DID sit down in our seats and were buckled up.

This mother was stupid though, you could have said something.

I once saw a free roaming toddler (less than 2yrs) on the backseat of a convertible with the roof down! Standing up his shoulders were higher than the sides of the car and he was clambering all over the place. There wasn't even a baby seat in the car.

I was only about 16 at the time so didn't think to call the police. Now I would.

Someone carved us up on a huge busy roundabout recently and then changed lanes again and ended up next to us, at which point I could see that she was on her mobile phone, with three young kids clambering about unrestrained in the back seat. Unfortunately the lights changed and she zoomed off so fast that I couldn't get her number plate to report her. I wish I'd known that I could have rung the police to look for her on their cameras. She, of course, was wearing her seat belt.

YADNBU. Bloody idiot she is.

I have a friend who went through the windscreen at a young age - terrible facial scars, and she's lucky that's all she has.

The irony is that most of these stupid parents still strap themselves in!

Having a child messing about/crying etc is distracting enough when when they are strapped in. If they are moving around the car and standing between the seats there is no way the driver can be completely focused on driving.

I once realised that my son wasn't strapped in whilst driving down the middle lane of the motorway, having just gone past a service station. He hadn't moved. I crawled to the next service station on the inside lane, with my heart in my mouth. Son, 3 at the time, was none the wiser.

This drives me nuts but once when I saw it I zipped into the police station we had just driven past and reported the driver. The police visited her and told her it is the law to have her child belted in then gave her my name and address. She then harrassed me about why I had it in for her (never met her before just hate that a parent would put a child at risk so stupidly). I now MYOB!