I'm not sure if I am, too sad and overwhelmed right now.
DP's lovely DSIS is dying right now of terminal cancer (she's also my close friend)
I've also just had bad news re a much loved relative , also with incurable cancer; this came totally out of the blue so everyone's in shock, obviously most of all them (relative was not actually ill but they might only have a short time now)
Friend (more acquaintance really) has been sending me links for months on FB etc to a certain man's site /theories etc . She is convinced that anyone that follows this man's advice can be cured. I asked her for proof and if she knew anyone who had.. no not personally she said but it's true and even the most incurable can be cured IF they believe and follow his diet/ advice
I have lost people to bone cancer and I thought that was incurable , for example, but I am no expert on cancer. My uncle stayed positive but died of bowel cancer. etc etc (and ate healthily, never smoked/ drank etc)
She has been sending me the links for ages to send to DSis in law as she says that she can be saved if she reads it/acts on it. But DSIS is the most positive, cheerful optimistic person I've ever met. She still is even though she possibly has weeks left. Her fighting attitude is sadly not saving her. Cancer too aggressive and a rare form.
Acquaintance thinks if she follows this man's advice it can be turned around still. It's like she's brainwashed.
Anyway I told her the sad news re my relative and lo and behold she's bombarding me with the links again. That if I show my relative., then they has the option to be cured…if they follow the advice…
I keep telling her that my relative is in absolute shock and has asked NOT to be contacted in any way (has asked to contact their sibling only..it was sibling that broke the news to me and rest of family) as relative cannot cope with the phone calls and messages as is just breaking down with the reality of the diagnosis , thought of leaving small children behind etc
I tell acquaintance that I have to respect relative's wishes and that we are there for them if they ask us to be but have to leave them alone in the mean time whilst they try to come to terms
I feel that acquaintance is basically thinking I'm signing relative's death certificate by not forcing them to watch/read the info (and act on it)
But I know acquaintance is well meaning. She is trying to help.
AIBU to think that some things can't be cured (but might be able to buy more time) or just too pessimistic. I didn't used to be like that but I've lost quite a few people to cancer , most recent being a childhood friend (who also stayed very positive and optimistic/ non bitter, to the end)
She does not get that relative does not want to be contacted and is far too broken to read/ watch anything like that. That is their choice, I respect that.
But what if she's right?? But I know I'd really hurt my relative by disrespecting their wishes and would probably find it pointless and patronising. Acquaintance cannot believe that I'm not going to 'make' relative see/ read what this 'curer' has to say