Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

12 year old going to London on her own

27 replies

tireddotcom72 · 08/06/2016 20:32

I'm actually completely lost for words. Asked my ex to look after his 12 year old dd for a couple of hours tomorrow evening. He said he couldn't manage the half hour train journey from London to our house after work but suggested she got the train into London on her own during rush hour then cross London during rush hour on the underground on her own! She would then meet him somewhere in Euston!

This child suffers from anxiety at the best of times and has never even been to our local town centre on her own!!

OP posts:
Original poster
tireddotcom72 · 08/06/2016 20:33

Posted before I could add my answer to him was no way! And I got told I was over protective!

OP posts:
SissySpacekAteMyHamster · 08/06/2016 20:35

YANBU

NeedACleverNN · 08/06/2016 20:37

Does she know london?

If she does and is confident about the way about directions she would be ok. Though I get she would be anxious about

If she has not got a single clue no chance

gunsandbanjos · 08/06/2016 20:38

I have a 12 year old, there is zero chance I'd let her do that journey on her own!

AintNobodyHereButUsKittens · 08/06/2016 20:38

Bonkers. If he could meet her at the London terminal she gets into so she'd literally just have to sit on the train and then be picked up when she gets off it then it would be fine. But asking a provincial 12 year old to do a strange tube journey unaccompanied is grossly unreasonable/

ChippyMinton · 08/06/2016 20:39

Yanbu.
If she was being met at the London terminal that would be ok. But no to using the tube.

NeedACleverNN · 08/06/2016 20:40

The fact he feels your being over protective...I'm not sure if I would trust my ex to look after her in the first place

If he feels THIS is over protective then maybe leaving at her at home whilst he pops out for a few pints is ok etc

Original poster
tireddotcom72 · 08/06/2016 20:41

She wouldn't have a clue about the underground and rush hour crowds at st Pancras would scare the life out of her! He was going to put her back on a train about 9 to send her home alone!!

OP posts:
ElleBellyBeeblebrox · 08/06/2016 20:43

No no and no. YADNBU

Original poster
tireddotcom72 · 08/06/2016 20:43

He took her to Pizza Hut when she was 8 and went outside to make a phone call leaving her alone for 20mins!! I don't trust him to look after her even now she is older!!

OP posts:
MariaSklodowska · 08/06/2016 20:43

no not OK unless she was being met off the train. Sounds like a nasty case of 'dont give a fuckness'

JackandDiane · 08/06/2016 20:44

I used to do similar from Hertford to various airports. I quite liked it - was exciting

mizuzu · 08/06/2016 20:45

I dont think this is a good idea, i am a Londoner myself but a 12 year old with anxiety and not from the area not a good idea.

NeedACleverNN · 08/06/2016 20:47

I think you need to look at alternative child care really OPn

Original poster
tireddotcom72 · 08/06/2016 20:51

She normally stays home with neighbour on hand if I go out she asked him to come and take her out for tea as she just finished exams at school so wanted a treat. She said she won't be asking him again!

OP posts:
gunsandbanjos · 08/06/2016 21:04

Sounds as useless as my ex, he was always more important than whatever else was going on.

Hasn't seen his daughter in over a month because he's busy...

specialsubject · 08/06/2016 21:07

London kids do that all the time.

but she's not a London kid.

Original poster
tireddotcom72 · 08/06/2016 21:12

He last saw her in February as he has been busy ( new girlfriend)

OP posts:
Pinkheart5915 · 08/06/2016 21:14

yanbu. What a lazy dad he is

I'm an adult and I hate going in to London at rush hour.

Snowkitty · 08/06/2016 21:33

YADNBU. I wouldn't let my 14 yo DS do this alone, especially the return journey at 9pm, even if he was familiar with the journey and knew exactly where he was going. That said there are other journeys I'd allow him to make alone - but they are ones with a considerably lower risk of getting lost or mugged!

What planet is your Ex on? He's clearly very out of touch with reality and very irresponsible.

WannaBe · 08/06/2016 21:40

IME people who live in London are more complacent about these things because kids do travel across London at that age, to school etc. I know my DS is far more independent and confident travelling alone than e.g. My sister's kids who live elsewhere.

That being said, I wouldn't allow him to go into London and on the tube in rush hour alone, and certainly wouldn't let him travel home alone at 9 PM, although I know he would be capable.

ProteusRising · 08/06/2016 21:43

I did this from the age of 11 but you know your daughter best and it sounds like she wouldn't manage it, so YANBU.

clarrrp · 08/06/2016 21:50

Hell no. Christ I'm 33 and I still freak out in London at rush hour.

UterusUterusGhali · 08/06/2016 21:54

Nope.
Nopity nope

My dd got the train to the next county when she was 14, and I was super anxious.
I only let her because the town she was going to has family members living there, and they were all poised to get her should there be any difficulty. (Small town. Not London)

You are not overprotective. He is a lazy twat.

Mycatsabastard · 08/06/2016 21:56

yadnbu. He needs to give his head a serious wobble.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.

Swipe left for the next trending thread