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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Mobile phone ban on overseas school trip

276 replies

anotherglass · 08/06/2016 14:58

12 year old son is due to go on his first overseas school trip to Belgium later this month.

There is a strict ban on children using mobile phones during the trip.

Part of the trip will involve a period of up to 2 hours where children will be allowed to wander around an open, retail precinct - unsupervised. Teachers will not be far and kids will have cards - in the local language - to hand to someone if they are in trouble, during this activity.

Parents were not made aware of this unsupervised element of the trip, prior to making payment.

I am nervous not only about this element, but also the fact that there is a heightened risk of terrorists attacks during the period of the trip, which coincides with Euro 2016.

AIBU to insist on son being allowed to take his mobile phone on the trip?

OP posts:

BeautifulMaudOHara · 10/06/2016 10:29

YANBU.

Our school allow phones on trips but won't take responsibility for them, which is fair enough IMO.

I wouldn't be happy with 12 yos unsupervised either.

FreyaB84 · 10/06/2016 10:34

I've been on a number of these trips as a member of staff and mobile phones nearly always cause more problems than they solve.

On a recent trip, a 13 year old was found very upset in her dorm one evening. We managed to calm her down and it turned out that she'd phoned home and hearing her mum's voice had upset her (this wasn't the first trip she'd ever been on, by the way). Anyway, she went off to do the evening activity and seemed to have cheered up. Her mum, on the other hand, spent the rest of the evening desperately trying to contact her daughter and the staff on the trip because she was so worried about the state her daughter was in on the phone. This situation would likely never have happened if the pupil had not had a phone, as per the rules.

Another issue was caused when a mother had instructed her child to give her a call every morning. On one occasion, he hadn't done this and she phoned the centre we were staying in because she was worried. He was simply having such a good time that the phone call had slipped his mind. He was perfectly safe but again, a phone caused unnecessary anxiety for the parent.

We've also had phones go missing whilst out and about and a couple of situations in which phones were used to bully other students on the trip.

If there's a problem with your child, staff on the trip/the school will contact you. If you don't trust them to do this, then it's probably best that you don't send them. A lot of time and effort goes in to organising such trips and staff will set rules for a reason, sometimes based on past experiences. If you don't agree with these rules then don't send your child on the trip.

In terms of being out and about unsupervised on trips, secondary aged children are usually trusted with this freedom. There will always be some general rules to follow, such as stay in groups of at least 3, and they will be told where members of staff will be in the event of any issues. Plus there are always rules about how far they are allowed to wander.

MumOnTheRunCatchingUp · 10/06/2016 10:45

worrying about secondary age children unsupervised for 2 whole hours??

have a word with yourself fgs!

Marynary · 10/06/2016 10:46

DD's secondary school also had a ban on mobile phones for a residential but DD was the only one in her class who didn't actually take her mobile.
The reason for the mobile ban had more to do with teachers not wanting to be responsible for the loss of the phone than anything else. Considering that the pupils were several hours late returning from the trip and I was the only parent who didn't know (although DD eventually borrowed a friends phone to let me know) there is no chance I will be complying with any future bans.

AnotherUsernameBitesTheDust · 10/06/2016 10:51

Seriously, just send him without a bloody phone. How will he look to his friends when he has to call/text mummy every morning and evening? He's nearly a teenager!

My kids go off all over the place with school and scouts and don't take their mobiles. I assume that if there's a problem they (as in the teachers/leaders) will actually call me. No news is good news!

In fact my oldest was so used to not being able to take his phone on scout camp that when he was allowed to on a school trip he didn't bother anyway. I'm probably the last person they're thinking of when they're away having fun with friends, and quite right too. (As long as they remember me when they're in the gift shop)

00100001 · 10/06/2016 10:51

But the reason you didn't know wasn't the fact your child didn't have a phone. It was because the school should have a 'home' contact at the school who should then pass on the info - and that didn't happen.

marynary maybe you should volunteer for a trip like this, organise it and set the rules. just to see other parents go "oh well, that clearly doesn't apply to me" so when you've told everyone to arrive at 10am for departure, you rock up at 10.30 because "well, I thought it best that I do exactly as I please"

00100001 · 10/06/2016 10:52

there is absolutely NO reason for the kids to have a mobile phone on atrip like this.

None!

Nope. not one.

BarbaraofSeville · 10/06/2016 10:52

If there's a problem with your child, staff on the trip/the school will contact you

^^This. Ever heard the phrase 'No news is good news'?

00100001 · 10/06/2016 10:53

indeed!

00100001 · 10/06/2016 10:53

I can guarantee all the "oh well take the phone anyway.. it's a stupid rule" camp have never ever organised a trip like this!

Orangetoffee · 10/06/2016 10:55

Marynary rather than not complying with the rules, why don't you make sure the school has a system in place to contact parents in case of delays. At my dc school, a teacher on the trip informs the school's secretary and she sends out the text/emails to all parents concerned.

Marynary · 10/06/2016 11:00

It was due to the fact that my daughter didn't have a phone. If she did, I would have been able to contact her before leaving work to find out where she was. This is what other parents did. I was the only parent who arrived to collect her at the time we had been given because I was the only parent whose child didn't take a phone.
The school office didn't seem to realise that children didn't have a phone and absolutely no effort was made to contact the parents. I went into the school office after turning up at the school to collect her and nobody could give me any information apart from the fact that the bus was "late".

Knockmesideways · 10/06/2016 11:07

Blimey, we pamper our kids nowadays! I went on an exchange visit when I was a similar age. I spent two weeks with a family in France. My parents had never met them (the usual type of thing that many kids from the UK and France did regularly in the 70s and 80s). My exchange partner then stayed with us for two weeks or so a while later along with her school year mates. We went out and about all day - to the shops, the cinema, youth club, met mates to go cycling, in both countries. I don't know about my parents not knowing where I was when I was in France, HER parents didn't know where we were most days! Because in those days we didn't have mobile phones. We just said we were out cycling, gave the rough area and off we went. My parents didn't even have a landline - they used the call box at the end of the road if they wanted to call anyone. So I was out of touch for two weeks. I would guess my parents were worried but, like someone said earlier, considered it 'no news is good news'! And this was at the IRA bombing height in the late 70s - we need to teach our kids how to be safe, not rely on a mobile phone where we can't actually do anything anyway as we are hundreds of miles away! Mobile phones give a false sense of security. If you are being kidnapped you won't be able to get your phone, if you are injured you won't be able to use your phone, if you are lost and you call your parents what exactly are they going to do? Give you directions or suggest you find someone to help you - which is exactly what the school is suggesting?

And my 9 year old goes on day long school trips to museums etc. Neither he nor his classmates have mobiles (they don't need them, we collect them from school). I doubt the whole group sticks together all day and I know, from parents who have gone along as helpers, that they are always running off to round up stragglers who wander off.

00100001 · 10/06/2016 11:07

The fault was still of the schools though. They should have had a 'home' contact. It just happened that the others disobeyed the rules and could contact home.

Have you ever organised a trip like this marynary?

Marynary · 10/06/2016 11:08

Marynary rather than not complying with the rules, why don't you make sure the school has a system in place to contact parents in case of delays. At my dc school, a teacher on the trip informs the school's secretary and she sends out the text/emails to all parents concerned.

As a parent how am I supposed to "make sure" that a large secondary school improves it's systems for contacting parents? It is much easier and effective to let my child take her phone like all the other children.

00100001 · 10/06/2016 11:09

so... have you ever organised a trip like this marynary?

Knockmesideways · 10/06/2016 11:09

But Marynary it's still not because the child didn't have a phone - it's because the school office didn't do their job. The school should have got a rocket up their arse. Buying a phone for the child just allows the school to get off the hook so everyone has to provide a mobile phone (which then leads to the texting in class that happens in my niece's school - but that's another story...)

00100001 · 10/06/2016 11:10

and leads to mis-reporting of incidents.. and phones being lost...and homesickness.

Knockmesideways · 10/06/2016 11:12

00100001 - absolutely!

Marynary · 10/06/2016 11:12

The fault was still of the schools though. They should have had a 'home' contact. It just happened that the others disobeyed the rules and could contact home.

Yes, it was certainly the fault of the school that no attempt was made to contact they parents. They have the contact numbers but chose not to communicate. Why should I comply with a school rule not to take mobiles if I can't trust them to contact me in case of delay?

Have you ever organised a trip like this marynary?

What is your point?

Orangetoffee · 10/06/2016 11:12

Does the school not hold an information evening about the trip you can address these concerns?

Andrewofgg · 10/06/2016 11:19

marynary Your DD's teachers were not up to the job. They should have confiscated the mobiles and then let the parents know about the delay (by text, not call) from their phones.

Marynary · 10/06/2016 11:24

marynary Your DD's teachers were not up to the job. They should have confiscated the mobiles and then let the parents know about the delay (by text, not call) from their phones.

Yes, I am aware of what should have happened but it didn't. I'm not sure that the teachers were even aware of the fact that information given to parents regarding the trip stated no mobile.

00100001 · 10/06/2016 11:25

The point is, when you organise a trip such as this one. You will then have more of an 'insight' as to why certain rules are put in place. Such as 'no mobile phones' becaus eit's the staff that have to deal with the crap that comes with 30 odd kids with mobiles.

Not the parent who thinks their snowflake is above petty rules. It's the staff have to deal with the upset, the hassle and the stress.
They put all the work into ensuring the trip runs smoothly, do all the paperwork, all the RAs, volunteer their time/take annual leave, support the kids, ferry kids, herd kids through towns, get them to and from activities, make sure they're fed watered and sleeping. They have to deal with the parents anxiously ringing up the hotel. They have to deal with any complaints that might come in.

If they say "no mobile phones" to make their lives easier, then as a parent you should be decent enough to respect this rule, and think "hmm maybe they didn't just say this to be mean and horrible and to put my child in danger". It is there for a reason.

So, the "point is" when you successfully run a trip and decide kids can have mobiles, and you return from that trip with no incidents relating got the phone, then you can say with some sort of authority that the "no phones" rule isn't sensible or whatever and feel free to inform us how you managed it so well, and what you did so we can all learn from that.

However, when people are on here that have organised a trip like this, and experienced the hassle of mobile phones on them, and they are telling you over and over again that mobile phones cause more problems than they solve... why would you assume you know better?

00100001 · 10/06/2016 11:27

marynary ^^

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