Mobile phone ban on overseas school trip

[anotherglass]

12 year old son is due to go on his first overseas school trip to Belgium later this month.

There is a strict ban on children using mobile phones during the trip.

Part of the trip will involve a period of up to 2 hours where children will be allowed to wander around an open, retail precinct - unsupervised. Teachers will not be far and kids will have cards - in the local language - to hand to someone if they are in trouble, during this activity.

Parents were not made aware of this unsupervised element of the trip, prior to making payment.

I am nervous not only about this element, but also the fact that there is a heightened risk of terrorists attacks during the period of the trip, which coincides with Euro 2016.

AIBU to insist on son being allowed to take his mobile phone on the trip?

Capricorn76 I'm sorry to break this to you, but that is helicopter parenting.

Ds2 has just got back from his y6 trip abroad. No phones allowed, he loved it, he did get homesick in the fourth night, but just went to bed early, then carried on enjoying the following days.

As a parent, I checked for updates from the school plenty, and more so on the travelling days. You have to learn to let go a little bit. They are with teachers, probably teachers who have been doing the same same trip every year for years.

OP at 12, DC should be capable of spending a couple of hours in a shopping mall without a phone.

And the whole hysteria about the hour or so shopping is ridiculous.

Did you actually think they wouldn't get any free time for shopping? Or that Junior would have his own personal shopper when he went to spend his euros on your prezzie?

I am genuinely curious here.

If you cannot sleep without hearing from your child twice a day, then your child is fine - and doesn't need a phone - while you need some help.

Use this as an opportunity to start that process of gradually 'letting go' which is so important in the teenage years. Yes, it's difficult - after the care and responsibility of the 'young child' years it is hard to change parenting mode, but it is REALLY important.

Did your DS go on a residential in Y5/6 (most schools do)? How did you manage then? We take the children away but as staff send update texts each day 'All fine, weather sunny' and post photos on the school website.

Capricorn76 If you can't sleep without hearing from your son twice a day on an organised trip you are in need of help. And encouraging your DS to break the rules is irresponsible. If I were the teacher and found out he had a phone (and I would, teachers have 360-degree vision and can hear a whisper through a stone wall!) I would confiscate it and supervise your DS sending a text saying Phone confiscated. Over and OUT.

allnewredfairy Tell your DC that Ypres is a wonderful experience if you take it seriously. I have been there many times and I have seen school groups there turn from the usual unruly mob into a very thoughtful group after standing in the Menin Gate and being asked to think that every one of those names was a young man not much older than them.

Capricorn76, you aren't emotionally ready for your child to go on a trip so it's best they don't go. Shame for the child, but you not sleeping the whole time they are away unless they break rules and text you suggests that your anxieties are too severe for them to go. 💐 have you spoken to GP about your MH challenges?

Yes you're being a hysterical overprotective fusspot and your child will not thank you for it.

itsbetterthanabox The reasons will be the same as any other school or youth group/ organisation taking away a bunch of teenagers.

the very same reasons that numerous posters have added:

• they get lost, stolen or damaged.
• they can inadvertently create hysteria by 'mis-reporting' incidents
• they make homesickness worse
• kids have run up huge phone bills
• they are glued to the phone rather than interacting with people and places.

How hard is it to understand?

When you've taken away a group of 30 kids with mobile phones on a trip such as this and not had one single problem, then feel free to come back and tell us all how it's done.

AN example of "hysteria" when kids are given phones. I was baby sitting three kids, the 12 yo had a phone.
The 7 yo choked on something like a crisp, and was fine after a few seconds after a cough or two. I was settling the kid, and making sure she was OK, and the 12yo took it upon himself to text his mum and Dad "SISTER IS CHOKING! ' or similar.

The parents rang me up in a blind panic rushing to the car asking me what had happened, do they need to go to hospital etc. I was obviously confused about it all as there was nothing wrong with the 7yo. 12yo thought he was doing what was best.

Imagine getting 'that' text when they're in France? And nothign has actually happened?

Yabu

Funnily enough we all survived school trips and outward bound courses etc when mobile phones didn't exist

Another YABU from me. No phones is standard for all schools around here and if you are not happy with that, don't send your child on a residential trip.

Just give him the phone to take and tell him not to be obvious about it.

Wtf!
School being good enough to take kids away I hated doing them and they have given an instruction and the advice is to fuck 'em, do what you want.
No wonder there's no respect and an entitled, rules don't apply to me, attitude from the up coming generation.

No wonder there's no respect and an entitled, rules don't apply to me, attitude from the up coming generation

Exactly, but not in all of them and their fault of course. The pupils who do have that attitude are facilitated by their over anxious, entitled parents.

Sorry - not their fault.

I wonder what other rules the OP think are optional

I think the school might also want kids to be looking around then and taking things in. I can't believe so so many people sit with their heads down staring into screens. YABU - kids need to know how to survive life when their phone batteries die! I'm searching the Internet at the moment to find a secondary school that doesn't allow mobile phones at all because that's where I'd like my children to go.

ROFL at 'emotionally ready'!! My kid is 5 (which probably skews my view) so she won't be going on any foreign trips for a while but even if she were 12 I'd probably still give her a phone. If that makes me a helicopter parent in this instance so what? We all see things differently and that's cool.

I've been criticised on here for being too lax for allowing her to have sleepovers from age 4 (you can't win no matter what your parenting choices are) so I don't think I'm that over protective. I'd just like to know that she could contact me when abroad. In the UK I'd be cool with her not having the phone but abroad where if something went down, she can't speak the language, none of her friends have phones on them either etc, I wouldn't feel comfortable. But horses for courses and all that.

Capricorn
I agree with you.
That's bizarre imo that some people thinking having sleepovers in unacceptable but it's overprotective to want to be able to contact your child when they are abroad.

" If that makes me a helicopter parent in this instance so what?"

Because the decision you make impacts other people in more ways than one. A rule is a rule, often there for the better of the group, and staff are aware of more issues than you are. So why is it OK for you to decide what rules should and shouldn't be followed?

Whathaveilost
School rules are not always sensible. We all know this. Questioning some rules teaches the kids to think logically not just to rebel.

You say you'd like to know she could contact you when abroad.

What circumstances would she need to contact you?

capricorn ^^

Betterthanabox but this rule is sensible as 95% of posters are agreeing.

I am pleased about this thread though- I'm just updating our rules for our forthcoming trip to the UK and have added (along with the smoking, drinking and getting a tattoo/piercing) that anyone found using their phone outside of the designated hours will have it confiscated for the next 48. And the parents will sign a disclaimer.

And like I say box and Capricorn when you volunteer and take a bunch of teenagers away in your own time, feel free to allow the kids to have their phones. And then report back to us and tell us how not one of those phones got lost, stolen, damaged, caused an issue of any sort!

The people with the experience of such things. They are saying "no phones" because they cause so much bloody grief! And you get parents going "ohh, well that rule can't possibly apply to my precious snowflake! and they "sneak" a phone in and then get pissy and complain to the school that their child lost/broke a phone/racked up a huge bill/did something stupid with it.

I know there will be teachers there. I'm not a helicopter parent but I really don't like the thought of not being able to contact my own child abroad. I'd get them to hide the cheapo phone and send me texts on the morning and evening before bed. I wouldn't be able to sleep properly otherwise.

Yes. Yes, you are!