AIBU to be incredibly bothered by neighbours complaint?

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We have lived in our house very happily for the last thirteen years. For the last five years we have been living next to very fussy neighbours. A couple in their thirties,No kids,no pets ,she does yoga in her garden,bakes from home and cycles around in an old fashioned big wheeled bike with a basket full of fresh bread and flowers.He works all day and seems very quiet. A perfect couple I guess.
We have six children here aged between 8 months and 13 years. The eldest two have special needs (autism /mobility problems)
We've always been super aware of not making noise to annoy anyone . The kids with the SN are in the furthest side of the house so occasional meltdowns have at least four or five walls between them and the neighbours.
Problems started three years ago when she knocked to say one of our dogs barked when I left her to do the school run and disturbed their breakfast . I was apologetic and took steps to stop that..training,plug ins,radio, recorded her etc and it stopped.
Then a few months later she hung out of her window on two mornings shouting at us for closing our gate too loud at 8.45am waking her up as she..and I quote " goes to bed late and has every right to sleep in with her windows wide open and not be disturbed" .
She made my then 8 year old cry and the kids creep out paranoid every morning to the car not daring to even speak.
Then we were putting a small patch of decking down and using a small battery drill to screw the planks in at 6 pm on a Saturday.She pops her head over asking if we could stop as they wanted to have dinner in the garden . And we did 😐
Next week she pops over again asking if we could keep our voices down as she was reading when it was just me,hubby and the two eldest out on the patio planting flowers.
Since then I've been paranoid. I dont let the kids play outside before 10 am or after 6.30 ish. If they're stupidly noisy they get brought in,I took the trampoline down because the neighbour moaned.We don't ever play music, the youngest kids are all in bed before 8 and the big three are quiet then and there's never any noise overnight. I don't ever open our bedroom window incase the baby cries through the night as the neighbours Window next to our room is wide open.
I stand out with the dogs in the morning and night so they don't bark and during the day if they start barking they're called in.When I go out they're in the far side of the house .
I "thought" we were being pretty considerate.
Apparently not.
Last weekend whilst the kids were in the paddling pool playing and actually being pretty quiet tbh both of them flew to the fence and started screaming about how we were ruining their lives, she sits crying at the noise we make. We have no consideration and should be ashamed of ourselves as parents etc. They went completely nuts and I told them we did our best but they didn't believe me, hubby at this point stood up and told them to back off as our kids were watching.
Since then my autistic son hasn't slept, he won't go outside. I am paranoid beyond belief. I won't even let the kids go into the two rooms on the neighbours side in the morning and am making them eat their breakfast in a different room 😐 I'm constantly shhhhhhing and trying to stop my 3 and 4 year olds running around all day and I can't face even letting the little ones play or my dogs outside. I'm even getting hubby to leave work to do the school runs whenever I can so I don't have to leave the dogs incase they bark.
It's causing great stress with me and hubby who thinks we should just ignore them and carry on our lives as we were. He is furious I'm so bothered what they think . I really don't know what to do !

We had neighbours like this - well - we still do. When our kids were tiny they would jump about a bit and we would be told they thought we were throwing our toddlers against the wall. We rearranged furniture constantly trying to make as little chance of their banging the wall as possible.

One weekend we were painting our apartment and at 6pm on the saturday we rollered the wall separating our living room from theirs, then went out to dinner. Got home to a long note pinned to our door telling us that we were totally unconsiderate banging against their wall and that the poor mother had to go to bed with a head ache from our noise while the daughter (lived at home old maid at 30) was sitting there SEETHING at how inconsiderate we were. Because apparently rolling paint on a wall is too loud.

A few months later I was hoovering at midday on a Saturday. Daughter came round and tried to yell at me for making too much noise. I was completely puzzled and said "I'm just vaccuming the house... at 12pm on a weekend. I can't think of a less unreasonable time to do it. Do you think I shouldn't hoover at all?" She stomped back home and looked my husband up on facebook and shot him a "Keep your wife in line, she was rude and unapologetic' message.

Then they gave up. Apparently by not apologising that time, it made them realise to back off. A couple of years later new neighbours moved in on the other side that play music loud enough we can hear it THROUGH the old bat's walls. So she has nothing to complain about with us anymore.

I vote for the ignoring them method. If they ask you to stop playing outside at 6pm or say they are reading 'say, that's lovely - we are enjoying our garden too. Can I suggest you use headphones if my kids' playing is irritating you?"

Tell the entitled whinging cunts to GET FUCKED

Her demands are unreasonable and harassing. Tell her that frankly and suggest she might prefer to live in an isolated farmhouse with no cows nearby that might moo, or cocks that might crow. Tell her you will no longer react to her harassment unless it us to file an official complaint about her.
Then sit back and enjoy the summer with your family - and good luck.

I agree with Carabos. They are being discriminatory-what do they mean by nice families? Everyone has given fantastic advice, but I'd be keeping a particular eye out for comments directly relating to your DC.
Trampoline definitely. Try and encourage a squeak.

It is them. It is all them. They are aresweevils and you need to start laughing at them. Because they really are very, very funny in an awful way. Taking them seriously gives them too much power in your lives. So laugh at them.

I have neighbour issues, asked me to not cut grass at 6pm because baby goes to bed at that time. I said this is not a reasonable request as people have to live their lives and 6pm is hardly "too late" this was one of many weird things but it's best to just live your own life. Families make noise, it's normal. Enjoy your garden and home and tell them to bugger off.

Lol I love the wind chime suggestion - get LOADS!!!! Hugs xxx

And while you are laughing, keep a little diary of their comments. One day you may choose to use it against them.

Ah those neighbours sound like a nightmare themselves. If it's nothing more than normal family noise please don't beat yourself up over it. I know I would be the same as you taking it to heart too much. They sound like they might be suffering with the nerves and every noise is annoying for one of them.

Live your life and enjoy your family.

Kids should absolutely make noise in their own garden. Neighbour needs to move to a house surrounded by fields. They chose to move next door to a family so tough for them. Tell them to get headphones. If they want to eat outside then they can do so once kids are in bed. Stay calm as you respond but make it clear that unless dc are swearing or threatening them then no action will be taken by you. They're idiots.

YANBU at all, they sound like utter wankers. Tradesmen routinely start work at 8am, so leave your house loud and proud at anytime you like after that. Children need to play. Drag your paddling pool out every day of the summer and let your children enjoy themselves. The only thing you ARE being unreasonable about is changing your behaviour & restricting your PERFECTLY NORMAL life to placate these lunatics. The next time they make an unreasonable request, just say NO.

No no no Araiba, not Metallica!!!

Rage Against the Machine, Killing in the name of.

As loud as possible.

Yes you should be worried, these people sound like they have a problem with people who have disabilities- they are bullies and they are harassing you. Keep a record of what they say to you and the children. Be polite but do not engage in long conversations. That way you avoid fueling their obsessions - then carry on your family life as normal. If necessary report promptly to council or police if they threaten or swear at you or the children.

hi, what about just printing out all of these fabulous comments and post them through their door? You could print another few sets and nail them (under cover of darkness and wearing a false moustache) to the telegraph poles nearby, together with large arrows pointing to their door. You could also attend assertiveness classes and when you learn how to stand up for yourself, pass on your tips to me! I'm just as wimpy and non-confrontational and I really do understand how difficult it is to stand up for yourself, but on the very rare occasion that I've done so, it was nowhere near as bad as I had expected. I found that the best way to deal with situations was to practice and rehearse the various options that I was going to say and that did help. What's the worst that can happen, eh? Not a lot, really. Stand up for yourself and wave a flag (or two fingers) on behalf of softies everywhere! Good luck. XX

As someone who lives near to wind chimes made from coconuts, bamboo and metal, and a drum circle, I can say those things are annoying to people who can tolerate high background noise levels.

But for ultimate noise, buy your kids a penny whistle and a kazoo.

Araiba and marvellous, ACDC 'if you want blood'! Turned up to 11!

It's not like your playing heavy metal in the middle of the night, dammit. Just ignore her she's making a big fuss about nothing

They're the ones who should be looking at soundproofing etc not you. Just live your lives as normal. I do wonder if you hadn't given jnto their ridiculous demands to begin with maybe they wouldn't expect so much from you?

I've come across people like this, and even when they live in a rural area they will complain about the farmer on his tractor/cows mooing etc. They're just idiots.

I have a 7 year old son who is learning the violin - I'll happily get him to stand under her window and scrape out "twinkle twinkle".

It would upset me too. If they only complain about you, and not other neighbours with a noisy dog, it sounds like your family has been singled out and labelled as being some sort of problem by this horrible and ignorant couple. They appear to use this to feel justified in their vile behaviour and maybe they think they can bully you into disappearing, maybe moving out. Is there an element of 'disability hate' in all of this? Some people are such ignorant twats they pick on people with SN children (from experience). Does your council run any sort of mediation service to which you could apply for help in getting them to behave in a more neighbourly way? (Keep a log of what you are doing and when and what complaint was made so you have evidence of their unreasonableness and bullying). If not, I'd be tempted by the metallica solution but only at reasonable times during the day, and try and brazen it out until they realise you won't compromise any more. Sorry to hear your kids are so upset, your beautiful home should be a haven, not somewhere you feel you have to watch every step (((BIG HUGS)))

I have a neighbour at the back who only seems to mow his lawn when it's dark.The other night he was strimming at 9.30pm He'll lose a foot one day!

These people have a problem it seems to me. They are being very over-sensitive in expecting total silence from a large family group. Within reason, do what you like.

YANBU they are a pair of pointless childless morons, nasty little fuckers by the sound of it. Tell them to go and fuck themselves, you have tried your best xx

First you do not have to do ANY of the things you are doing. Who in the hell do they think they are? For starters if you make any noise during social hours (I think it's something like 8am-11pm but I could be wrong) then she can whinge all she likes, there is nothing that can be done about it.

Make all the noise you like.

Yes she has the right to sleep in if she likes, but you have the right to get on with your life and if she doesn't like it she can move elsewhere - you were there first. You should not cater to her every whim. Tell her to get ear plugs.

Live your life normally, let your kids play how they like - the reason she is like that is because you give in to her. As long as your kids are not screaming all day every day then she cannot do anything about it as there is a certain level of 'reasonable noise' allowed by law.

Also document every instance should she make a complaint. Try and record her. If she tries to lodge a complaint with the council, she won't get far. Trust me had neighbours who were loud ALL the time - a young signle couple they bounced tennis balls off our bedroom wall til 3am, threw cigarette buts in our garden almost set our fence on fire with a BBQ, had raging loud parties when the football was on, screamed and ahouted at all hours - countacted the council there was nothing they could do even though we had evidence. You are fine and being more than reasonable - I would have loved to have you as a neighbour rather than those a-holes.

Sounds about right - no kids and no pets they have no idea what its like. Suggest they save up and buy a detached house in the middle of nowhere

You are not ruining her life - SHE is ruining YOURS and I would suggest you tell her so and the next time she complains tell her to fck off, wind her neck back over her side of the fence and fcking get over herself. Does she think she's the Queen or something?

You have the right to enjoy your home and for your kids to as well if she doesn't like it and if she shouts over the fence at your kids - call the police.

What a self entitled little bitch.