To not sponsor this friend?

[lastqueenofscotland]

I'm prepared to be told I am being!
I have a friend who for years does a number of things for the same charity, that she never bloody trains for.
The first one she did was a 10k which she didn't train for and walked and then got annoyed when the race organisers had all but packed up (small local 10k it had a cut off time she was about 29 mins behind).
Since then she's been a did not finish in the London marathon (again did no training)
Did no training and dropped out very early in the three peaks challenge
And so on and so forth. she is quite sedentary and keeps getting charity places in these events to motivate herself to do some exercise and never gets round to starting...

She's emailed me yesterday about an 2 mile open water swim she's doing in 3 weeks, asking for sponsorship. I emailed back asking how the training was going, and she's not done any as she's self conscious about going to the swimming pool

Aibu to stop sponsoring her? It's not that Indont want to give money to charity but I don't want to encourage her constantly signing up for everything and anything when she has no intention of training and probably won't complete?

Is there an open water practice swim near her that you could go to with her do she realises how bloody dangerous and scary it's going to be? At least this way the charity might be able to find someone to take the place who'll actually do it!

YWNBU regardless of lack of training IMO, nobody can expect endless sponsorship if they do lots of charity things. People aren't made of money!

She should just donate her entry fee instead and stay on the sofa.

I think you should sponsor her...... for every 100 meters she swims.

Job jobbed.

She's emailed me yesterday about an 2 mile open water swim she's doing in 3 weeks, asking for sponsorship. I emailed back asking how the training was going, and she's not done any as she's self conscious about going to the swimming pool

She won't manage the distance:

2 miles is about 3.2km. That is 3200m which is 128 lengths of standard 25m swimming pool.

It's a fair way. I regularly swim 1km in a pool and I wouldn't think I could just up the distance to 3.2k without training in terms of pool swimming.

Add to that it's open water - what kind of open water and where?

She won't manage the cold if it's in the UK:

If its in the UK, unless there is a sudden heat wave she will need a wetsuit for an open water swim of that distance - and you need to test out a wetsuit before you embark on a long distance swim - to check it fits you properly and it's too constricting.

There are very few places that are so warm that you could do an open water swim for 2miles without a wetsuit - you are basically talking places like lakes in Africa or the Med in blazing August.

If it's in a lake or similar, I think in principle you could manage that if you are a trained swimmer but if it's in the sea, that kind of open water swimming is a really different ball game.

Rather than worry about sponsoring her, I agree that you should strongly dissuade her from doing this.

Do you know where she is "doing" this swim?

*it's NOT too constricting obv

I'm currently training for a relay cross channel swim, my individual legs will hopefully be around 2 miles a time. I've been training at least 3 times a week for a year, doing up to 7.5kms a time (3hrs) in the pool and since May, been swimming weekly in Dover Harbour. I'm struggling to do 2 mikes in open water at the moment. She has not one hope in hell. YANBU.

Wow, she's optimistic and/or foolish. I trained for months to do a 5k charity swim in a warm indoor pool, and that was tough going, never mind in a wetsuit in open water. The implications are rather more serious than missing the cut-off time for a 5k run or not finishing a marathon - she could actually get into very deep water (ahem) and be a complete liability. I would be inclined to gently point this out, as well as (obviously) not sponsoring her.

Yanbu this would really annoy me. I would be really embarrassed if I was her to be honest. I did a 40 mile cycle for charity and my knee gave out just before the last 10 miles and I forced myself to finish as people had sponsored me (I know that's stupid). Can't imagine the brass neck you'd need to keep asking people for sponsorship for things you will never complete.

And yes to the 2 mile open water swim - that's 3.2km which for most people would be hard in a swimming pool. She is actually endangering other people and is stupid if she thinks it's a good idea.

Do you think she thinks 'oh 2 miles isn't far' because she's once or twice walked 2 miles and thinks it's the same thing?
Don't know why I'm so annoyed about this ha-ha

I might just say "I can't afford any more sponsorship" and be done.

edwinbear

I'm currently training for a relay cross channel swim, my individual legs will hopefully be around 2 miles a time. I've been training at least 3 times a week for a year, doing up to 7.5kms a time (3hrs) in the pool and since May, been swimming weekly in Dover Harbour. I'm struggling to do 2 mikes in open water at the moment. She has not one hope in hell. YANBU.

hats off to you (or should that be swimming caps!). That is very impressive to do 7.5k in a pool!! Hard core commitment. Do you have any tips to keep going for that long? (other than break it up with drills?)

Crazy and dangerous.

DH did the open swim leg of a triathlon with his work. He used to swim competitively, regularly swims 1km on his lunch break etc. He found it really hard and someone was pulled out and had CPR (scared me as everyone looked the same in their matching hats!).

I was a strong swimmer in my youth, swam for a club, did competitions etc, was very fit. Aged 19, I was part of a team that did a charity event swim on a loch in Scotland. I swam a mile and it is still one of THE toughest things I've ever done, and I've walked long distances, climbed mountains etc in my life too. I was exhausted. That was a loch, not sea, (bloody freezing even with wetsuit!) and I was a trained and fit swimmer.
She could die, seriously! and take a rescuer down with her. I think you need to speak to her or inform the organisers that she is a risk to the safety of their event.

rightho I don't do any drills, just plough up and down and up and down. And up and down. And up and down a bit more. I have a waterproof MP3 player and a lap counter that tells me how many calories I've burned, both of which help a lot. But it's the fear of letting down the 5 other members of my team (that have trained equally as hard), that keeps me going.

80sMum

I've done the Moonwalk three times. It takes a LOT of training. It's a marathon.

But I wouldn't sponsor someone to do a 5k as I can walk that in 40 minutes.

YANBU if she's not going to be bothered you don't have to be. If she wants to raise money, why doesn't she do a sale or so? Tell her that you will give her some charity money WHEN SHE COMPLETES IT hint hint

I have a waterproof MP3 player and a lap counter that tells me how many calories I've burned, both of which help a lot. But it's the fear of letting down the 5 other members of my team (that have trained equally as hard), that keeps me going.

Ah a waterproof MP3 player could be the key! I have lap counter and I'm fine for about 1km - 1.5km but after that I start to get bored!

Plus I see the team fear! Lots of luck with it.

Just tell her you don't have money right now (you've spent it all on something and things are tight) but you could give her some after she's done it (when you are back in credit :) )

I agree, IF you think there is any chance of her actually trying to do it you need to tell her to cut it out/tell the organisers. Chances are she would have a freakout within the first hundred metres and end up having to be pulled out, it is VERY different to a pool, and she hasn't even been going to the pool...

Saying that it sounds unlikely she would go ahead with it. If it's something like the Great Swim series, a swim wetsuit is compulsory and it doesn't sound likely that she'd have got one, for a start (especially if she feels self-conscious in a pool!). It sounds like it's probably all just hot air and she will drop out at the last minute (still unfair on the other people who'll have missed out on a place due to her though).

Maybe you could sponsor her to not sign up for anything for a year?

Tell her you have to be selective in your charity choices this year based on your current economic situation/available funds and sorry, but she didn't make the shortlist...and repeat.

I very much doubt that she will get into the water. Swimming in the open water can also be quite frightening if you are not experienced. She shouldnt do it for her own safety and for the safety of other people, it is just irresponsible. Its different to doing a run obviously, where you can just move to the side and stop. She must be bonkers or suicidal to contemplate doing something like that. Tell her to go to the site and contemplate what it would be like to get into the water, then that will probably be enough to get her to pull out.

You say it's for the same charity every time - are they aware she isn't training for or completing any of the events she does for them? Is she paying for her own places or are they?

As it happens I don't sponsor people for much any more, anyway - I know far too many people doing 5k cancer research walk/jog/run events, another group doing some mud run thing, then another one doing a half marathon as well. And they do them every year. If I sponsored every one I know who does something I'd be massively out of pocket!

YANBU. I've stopped sponsoring most events. I resent being asked for sponsorship unless all the money is going to charity (eg charity 'walk the great wall of China' where the first couple of thousand raised goes to trip costs - wtf? Isn't that a holiday?)
I've done 1 sponsored thing in the last 10 years. It was the most physically demanding thing I will ever do and the fact we were raising money helped push us on through some tough bits (it was a team event and we raised over 20k). We paid all costs ourselves. I'd never ask anyone for sponsorship unless all the money was going to charity so similarly I resent being asked to subsidise anyone's hobby or trip. I give directly to charity which eases my conscious when I say no!