To not sponsor this friend?

[lastqueenofscotland]

I'm prepared to be told I am being!
I have a friend who for years does a number of things for the same charity, that she never bloody trains for.
The first one she did was a 10k which she didn't train for and walked and then got annoyed when the race organisers had all but packed up (small local 10k it had a cut off time she was about 29 mins behind).
Since then she's been a did not finish in the London marathon (again did no training)
Did no training and dropped out very early in the three peaks challenge
And so on and so forth. she is quite sedentary and keeps getting charity places in these events to motivate herself to do some exercise and never gets round to starting...

She's emailed me yesterday about an 2 mile open water swim she's doing in 3 weeks, asking for sponsorship. I emailed back asking how the training was going, and she's not done any as she's self conscious about going to the swimming pool

Aibu to stop sponsoring her? It's not that Indont want to give money to charity but I don't want to encourage her constantly signing up for everything and anything when she has no intention of training and probably won't complete?

I have the opposite problem, I have a friend who constantly trains and does charity runs, but because she wants to and never raises any money for the event! I always mention that I'd be happy to sponsor her and she just says she likes to run. Irritates the crap out of me!

I would be surprised if the race organisers would allow her anywhere near the water... But yes Yanbu. Utterly bonkers.

apom I'm a runner and never ask for sponsorship! I don't do charity events per say but have done great north run/London marathon (on a club place) without raising money. I'd feel like a bit of a shit asking for money to do my favourite thing for 3.5 hours!

this is hilarious! what on earth is she thinking? walking a marathon

is she tries to climb mount Kilimanjaro she is fucking toast

Kittykatmacbill
I would be surprised if the race organisers would allow her anywhere near the water

She might get in the water, but she's likely to be pulled out if she looks to be struggling. Not an event that you can do successfully without training.

OP, what about offering to sponsor training only, but not the event?

I sponsored a friend to do a 5K race for life. She did sod all training and walked the entire thing. 5K?! It's not exactly a marathon - it was an achievable goal for pretty much everyone but she couldn't even be arsed to try.

YANBU

In my day sponsorship was paid for effort. You would be paid according to how much you had achieved.

Too many people these days just enter something then hold their hand out for cash. In fact they don't even go to that much trouble, they just include you in an email with a justgiving link in it.

What happens to the sponsor money.Does it go to the charity or does she keep it.

If you donate through a portal like Just Giving, it goes to the charity whatever the outcome.

not that im saying op friend doesnt sound mad but you can walk the race for life they literally hav different sections for starting walk jog and run

u want to warn your friend op that she can get in serious trouble in open water-does she jsut like the attention or something

' people 'doing charity' basically for their own gains but others pay..' yeap they can feck off

Doing an open water 2 mile swim with no training-bloody dangerous, and stupid. And I would tell her that in bald terms.

Signing up for stuff and not doing it; wasting the space; costing the charity money-selfish.

I'd be worried about her getting in danger too!

I only pay up if they do it.

That's the point isn't it? You're not sponsoring her to think about doing a run/swim.

You can always donate after the event.

She sounds like a pita btw.

Genuine non-sarky question, Buuny - How would she be costing the charity money?

YANBU. As posters have said already, in the old days, sponsorship was a pledge to pay on completion, not to reward a good intention that may come to nothing.

Back in the day I did ask for sponsorship (including my first Race for Life, which felt like a marathon at the time), but after my 3rd marathon a few years ago, I decided enough is enough. Asking effectively the same people repeatedly just isn't on (IMHO), unless you're raising the stakes each time (and I've no plans to run for 4hrs dressed as a dinosaur, for example). No, time to step aside & DH & I now self-fund charity places (although couldn't afford to do for London Mara, we're depending on highly unlikely ballot places for that one).

Add on the fact that this friend doesn't even train/ complete the courses....it's a piss-take I'm afraid and dare I say rather self-indulgent? I'd say to her 'I've loved sponsoring you on all the previous occasions - I'm actually maxed out so far this year with sponsorship (lie if you have to) and so from now on am giving a donation once the event has been completed. I'll be rooting for you and very best of luck with the training'.

Ask her if she can swim two miles. she will be a liability. Theres a very real chance she will drown.
I dont think she has any idea how dangerous that is. I'd actually report her as unfit to the organisers.
The last thing they will want is an emergency spoiling the day.

And I also wouldnt have paid her if she didnt complete something.

maybe not directly; but most of these things have a set number of spaces, if she takes up a space of someone who is going to do the race and get sponsorship she is indirectly costing them money.

I think I am going to have to point out how dangerous what she is doing is... It's not like a marathon where you can just step to the side. She's not going to like it but cruel to be kind etc!

MistressMerryWeather - she would be costing the charity money IF the charity has had to pay for the place initially. For example, swim organisers may have x number of ballot places at £x each, up for grabs by anyone. Separately, they sell y amount of places to charities for significantly more (London Marathon places cost charities c. £400-500 each). The charities then make these places available to other participants (who haven't got in the ballot) and make their money by expecting the participant to raise at least the cost of the charity place, plus extra. Again, in case of London Mara, charity runners are expected to raise well in excess of £1,500 each - it's much less for other events, but you get my point? So if this swimmer pulls out and/or doesn't raise sponsorship, she's cost them whatever they paid for the place (plus anticipated profit from any sponsorship not collected). Hence why charities plug JustGiving etc - as the money's in the bag up front, regardless of completion of course/ not. Hope that makes sense !

Sounds like she wont complete this either. I agree its not on really, its a wonder they let her compete to be honest, you are not being unreasonable.

I agree with another posters suggestion say when it's completed your give the sponsor money.

A while ago my DH done a Paris to Lyon bike ride to raise money for Sands he does something very year in memory of our DD. My DH trains very hard. His company sponsored him for a large amount to be paid on completion.

Thanks guys, that makes total sense.

Does you friend usually do well with her fundraising Lastqueen?

"she's self conscious about going to the swimming pool"

Why would she not be self-conscious on the day then?

I have a friend who does no exercise at all but signs up for things like half marathons and tries to get me to do the same. I've never fallen for it but other friends have... then on the day she either comes up with great excuse leaving friends to run on their own or I remember her falling out with her best mate who had trained for a half marathon, because she left her after a few miles to keep running rather than walk! I do think she DOES believe she will commit to training when she signs up, even if everyone else knows she won't.

Anyway definitely a good idea to agree to sponsor her upon completion -tell her it's an extra motivation for her. Bet she won't like that.