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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Arrrggghhh! Think I've been unreasonable, toddler in car.

25 replies

Cheesesandwine · 07/06/2016 13:30

Just popped to post office to pick up a parcel. Not busy, only one woman I front of me, took the grand total of 3-4 minutes. My DS is 4 in 3 months, he wanted to stay in car and listen to his cd. However cd got stuck, he started to cry, a lady came into the PO and said 'someone's baby is screaming in the car'. I replied, 'oh god is he', and ran out to him clutching parcel.

He was NOT screaming but crying about the CD.

Have I just been a terrible neglectful parent? Are th police going to track me down? I can't go back to that PO now.

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 07/06/2016 13:31

It's bloody hot here. I wouldn't leave a child in an unattended car.

Haggisfish · 07/06/2016 13:32

No you haven't. Police won't track you down. Aaaaaaand relax!

SummerHouse · 07/06/2016 13:34

I have certainly got back to my car to find a crying child. Sometimes you can't do right. YANBU

durezz · 07/06/2016 13:35

The police probably will not track you down.
You can go back to that post office.
But you did make a mistake IMO, sorry.
I've been in similar situations and still resort to taking small child with me as anything can happen in the space of a few minutes.
Don't beat yourself up about it too much, have some cold water, relax, and just don't make the same mistake again.

Buckinbronco · 07/06/2016 13:37

Don't worry OP. It's fine and the horror will fade.

longdiling · 07/06/2016 13:39

He seems a bit little to be left in my opinion, certainly not something you should expect a visit from the police over though. I wouldn't call you terrible or neglectful either, all of us make the wrong call sometimes and no harm was done.

Original poster
Cheesesandwine · 07/06/2016 13:42

durez think you are right.

I feel really angry at myself. Stupid thing to do and totally embarrassed.

wolfe - Yes it's hot here, both windows wide open, car in shade, cold drink available and had it going to take any longer I would not have waited he was fine for 3/4 minutes. But I accept it was not my finest parenting hour. Surely we have all those moments :(

OP posts:
Mari50 · 07/06/2016 13:42

If your weather is anything like ours YABU as its too hot.

AGruffaloCrumble · 07/06/2016 13:44

YABU but you know and acknowledge that so don't beat yourself up OP. No one is ever perfect.

Voteforpedr0 · 07/06/2016 13:46

Windows wide open not safe in terms of other people although cooling, in other words it was a daft thing to do but yes we all make those mistakes, just learn from it and chill out a bit nothing happened and your child Is fine thankfully

Original poster
Cheesesandwine · 07/06/2016 13:55

Thanks for kind words and the chastisement! Needed a virtual slap.

Right off to play with said DS so not to feel further guilt of neglecting him while on MN.

OP posts:
liquidrevolution · 07/06/2016 14:08

I'd have done exactly the same OP.

It really depends where the car was parked. I can park my car and still see it from my village post office. I'll happily live with the assumption that in this situation the vast majority of passers by wont reach in my car through an open window to snatch her.

ExtraHotLatteToGo · 07/06/2016 14:08

Give your head a wobble. You didn't do anything wrong & of course you can go back there. He wanted to stay in the car, you had the windows open, you were less than 5 minutes, he was upset about the cd that's all. Kids cry about stuff like that, life goes on.

Windows wide open - yes, massive issue in the UK, kids abducted from cars, outside local post offices hourly...

The massive over reaction to stuff like this is tiresome. She didn't leave him standing on the street corner in the middle of a big city ffs.

StarlingMurmuration · 07/06/2016 14:11

I wouldn't. It's too hot (mind you I wouldn't in winter either). In my PO, you sometimes have to queue for twenty minutes or more to post a parcel, and you never really know how long it's going to be, or if you'll have an unforeseen delay.

Wanderingwondering · 07/06/2016 14:14

Oh don't worry-I would and have left mine in similar situations and he would have cried about the cd too!
I'm sure the woman who told you was just being helpful-I would have appreciated being told although would have felt a bit embarassed!

ChocChocPorridge · 07/06/2016 14:18

Depends on the postoffice - my local, village postoffice, sure, DS1 would be fine.

The one in town, even on the street right outside - no (although more because I worry about leaving the car with the windows open than I worry something will happen to DS.

GabsAlot · 07/06/2016 14:22

depends how far away u were-there was another thread where someone reported a mother for going into the bank leaving the kid screamingin the car

to be fair the windows werent open and she was more than few minutes but still

Bambooshoots14 · 07/06/2016 14:30

I've left 2yo ds in car on his own watching videos on my phone. More than once. Would do again. Less than 7 minutes ish

Laiste · 07/06/2016 14:41

I wouldn't have done it. But i'm sure i've done plenty of different less than perfect things over my years of parenting.

Chin up OP. I'm sure the PO staff wont remember you this time tomorrow :)

PerspicaciaTick · 07/06/2016 14:47

My DS used to scream blue murder when he wasn't left in the car on DD's school runs. Literally lay down on the pavement and shriek. He could keep it up for up to an hour. People used to wave merrily at me as they arrived at school, wave again on their way home and then wave again as they headed off for the rest of their fun-filled day. Screaming DS and I were a local landmark.
In the end I left him in the car. With windows open and CD on. I felt it was safer than trying to manhandle him back and forth across a busy road twice a day. But he never learned to unbuckle his seatbelt.

beela · 07/06/2016 14:57

I left my 4yo ds in the car once when I popped into a shop. I cleverly locked the car so nobody could steal him. The alarm went off because he was moving inside the locked car. Came back to an almost hysterical 4 yr old because he was scared of the noise Sad

Willow2016 · 07/06/2016 15:12

Nobody is going to remember, you were only a couple of minutes. Have done the same loads of times with mine. Its far quicker than manhandling them in and out of car seats, and where I live I can see kids from shop/petrol station windows its no biggie as I can park outside the door.

If you had left him and sloped off for half an hour to another shop I would see the problem but you didnt, dont feel guilty.

Misselthwaite · 07/06/2016 15:15

Honestly stop worrying about it.

What if you had taken him in and then he'd cried the whole time because he wanted to stay in the car?

sdaisy26 · 07/06/2016 15:20

I left a sleeping dd in the car once & popped to a shop to get milk (car was right outside the shop)...was only gone a couple of minutes but when I came back the car park security guard was there talking on his radio about an abandoned child. I was so worried I'd have the police or social services around as an unfit parent. With hindsight it was a really stupid thing to do and I have never left the children in the car since but in my defence I was 8 months pg, knackered, she wasn't sleeping & was at that tricky stage where if she even had 2 minutes sleep she wouldn't nap later but if I could keep her asleep I knew I'd get a good hour or so. It was an error of judgement and not my finest moment but we all have them. Don't worry about it (& sounds like he was fine anyway).

HelpALostCause · 07/06/2016 15:22

I wouldn't. At that age, mine could undo the seatbelt and potentially get out/play with things.

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