to think this is a horrid joke that you just don't say?

[Ticktacktock]

dd1 taking her driving test next week. dd2 said when you pass your test I hope you crash the car.

I asked her to repeat as thought I'd misheard, but no. dd1 said that was an awful thing to say. dd2 said, well I didn't mean it obviously, it's a joke, I say far worse things to my friends. you have no sense of humour.

I intend to tell her later that those kind of jokes should not be spoken out loud to anyone, but wanted to check with you guys to see if I have lost my sense of humour?

How old are they?

Aren't jokes supposed to be funny?

It sounds like a dickish thing to say but I'm assuming your DD2 is mid teens so is probably down to lack of maturity rather than anything else. Mean though.

It really depends on their relationship. If they say things like this to each other all the time (which a lot of teenagers do) but they know neither of them mean it, then I wouldn't get too worked up about it.

How was it a "joke"? There's nothing remotely funny about it, is there??

Oh it's the sort of twattish thing siblings say to each other for a wind up. Wouldn't read too much into it.

My 12yo DD comes out with shit like that all the time. We pull her up on it, but I just think she's still learning what's funny and what's not. Sarcasm etc is quite a sophisticated thing for children to fully grasp.

17 and 16 and the 16 yr old barely ever speaks to the other. both girls BTW

If I was being generous, you could take it as a more modern "break a leg", but I'd be pulling mine up on that.

Says she with only a 5 yr old

But it isn't even funny...

I've two girls and would be horrified if they said things like that to each other.
Once they start driving it's worrying enough without tactless jokes. When my oldest passed she took her younger sister out and I felt sick with worry, I paced the floor until they got home.
They both drive now but I'm not ready to joke about it yet!!

I'd just ask her if she really wishes that for her sister. If she says it's just a joke again, I would ask her what's funny about it.

Agreed it's just how some are at this age, but also needs to be noted, iyswim.

Schoolkids find this sort of thing weirdly hilarious. It's not, of course. I remember once one of my pupils was rushed to hospital during the school day. Nobody was sure what was wrong with him. When I was registering his class later in the day, one boy yelled out, "X isn't here because he is dead". He genuinely struggled to understand that I didn't find this amusing.

I think at 16 she should know not to say something like that unless she has any social problems? If she was 11/12 I would let it slide but at 16 she really should know better.

If I were the 17yo I'd flatly refused to drive the 16yo anywhere after a comment like that.

sounds like a very typical thing for siblings to say to each other in my experience of dealing with warring stepchildren who were absolutely vile to each other unless an outside person said anything and then they stuck together like glue..

My slightly younger brother said the same to me, twenty odd years ago but I still remember. Think it was jealousy.

You tell her 'no, it is not a joke, because if it was, we would both be laughing'.

Durham, that is exactly how I feel.

there is just no reasoning with her at the moment, I just get the glare

thanks all. when she next surfaces from her cave I will make sure I catch her!

Just a silly thing kids say

I happened to speak to my 19 year old on the phone earlier and she reckons that she'd have come out with this if she was secretly worried, making a joke out of something she was worried about.
Maybe your 16 yr old is worried about her big sister learning to drive.

She most certainly is not worried Durham, won't say how I know on here but I do. Bless you for asking your DC though x

Really?

I'm 38 and my brother and I have similar bantery conversations.

He nearly got unstuck after he told me I needed to die as my life insurance would solve his housing crisis.

I was involved in an very serious engine malfunction in a small aircraft that evening at work (emergency landing, full rescue services on scene etc). All I could think of as we were adopting a brace position was "If I do die in this DBro is going to feel terrible but I hope he has the wit to realise I will be entitled to a big occupational pay out too"

She might be able to get away with acting like that with her friends because they are her friends. But given that she hardly speaks to her sister, saying she hopes she gets in a car crash comes across as mean-spirited.