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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to not allow DS to pay bills?

94 replies

helloitsmenotadele · 06/06/2016 12:05

Hello,
My DS is 19 and has lived in a shared house in his university town since September, and he has moved out early.
Each month himself and four other boys have been paying a set amount, £60, I believe, towards utility bills and internet, regardless of the amount of time they have spent in the property.
My DS's housemates had a falling out with him before he arrived in September for no reason at all, I've seen all the conversations and it seems as though they suddenly conspired against him, and therefore, during this past year at university they have made his life a living hell, to the point where he has developed anxiety, of which is no way for a young man to live.
He wasn't able to find another tenant to take his room, so he had to stay, only spending as little time in the property as possible.
He moved out very early because he could not stand the way his housemates made him feel and now they are demanding he pays £120 towards the bills for May and June, even though he left the property before the end of April, and only spent approximately 8 days in the property before he moved out.
They are now hounding him for this money, but I don't feel he should pay - He has contributed an awful lot already, and he doesn't even live there anymore... AIBU???

OP posts:
cozietoesie · 06/06/2016 13:19

For myself, these days, I'd be whetting my spears. In your situation, I'd pay it for him if possible - with appropriate documentation.

It finishes the thing.

SouthWesterlyWinds · 06/06/2016 13:23

If there is no written agreement, tell them to naff off. Unless he sees the bills and the breakdowns for his entire stay and for what they care claiming now, then don't pay a bean.

The deposit should be in a proper holding account for the estate agent who would have a copy of his paper work. If you've already written off getting the deposit back, then maybe they can use that but other than Internet or line rental which is for a set amount of time as opposed to usage, they shouldn't be charging him for anything as usage should have been lower with one less person there.

He's contacted the lead person who is ignoring him. Wait until he replies - remember it's exam and viva time at the moment, although end of term balls will be happening soon. You might hear from him, if not, don't worry and keep whatever hard and soft copy paperwork you have now.

Dinosaur1991 · 06/06/2016 13:26

Personally I wouldn't pay it for the sole reason that tenancy agreements tend to only stipulate that you pay the rent. The bills are then worked out amongst your selfs. Well in the student houses I lived in anyway...
In one house I lived in as a student I remember the bill coming in at the end of the year, when everyone was about to move out. Me and my partner (who was living there too) paid the bill, it wasn't cheap. Then loads of other people moved out, didn't pay in time, never had any intention of paying etc. I'm convinced the guy who used to sort out the bills who we all gave the money to pocketed it as he didn't have enough from everyone to pay and we were all moving out within the week anyway. It's made me mistrustful of trusting other people to pay tbh.
Only thing I would be careful of is making sure you get the deposit back. A lot of companies give a cheque to whoever does the final inspection and hand the keys over. If they gave the full amount to one of these boys what's the chances of them giving his share back?

ImperialBlether · 06/06/2016 13:26

I would tell your son to contact the estate agent and to explain about the reason for his leaving and to request his share of the deposit is returned separately.

AristotleTheGreat · 06/06/2016 13:27

I agree about paying what he has committed to.
So he has committed to pay for electricity and gas that he hasn't been using. The bills they will receive will therefore be far lower. Why should he pay the 'agreed' amount when what will need to be paid WILL be lower?

Also, if they have the deposit, then I would just tell them to use the deposit for it, a very normal way of doing things (esp as he is pretty sure to never said money again anyway).

Fishface77 · 06/06/2016 13:29

Tell em to fuck of.
Don't pay it.

Believeitornot · 06/06/2016 13:31

What does your ds want to do?

sockrage · 06/06/2016 13:33

Contact estate agent. Explain situation. Get his deposit back seperately.

If it is already done don't give them a penny. They have his deposit and owe HIM

helloitsmenotadele · 06/06/2016 13:36

DS wants the money, he doesn't feel they should 'gain' from his 'pain'.. his words, not mine.

OP posts:
molyholy · 06/06/2016 13:38

Look at it this way, £120 to be rid of them forever. Seems a cheap price to pay to see the back of these horrid little turds.

Orda1 · 06/06/2016 13:40

Sorry I also think he should pay. £120 is a small price to pay to get rid of these people.

Orda1 · 06/06/2016 13:40

X post with holymoly!

ChocChocPorridge · 06/06/2016 13:42

I think it makes a difference if this was a house in multiple occupancy (ie he was renting a room from the landlord/estate agent, or if this was a shared house - ie a named group of people was renting.

Him paying the deposit to the estate agent makes it sound like an HMO, and yet HMOs are normally all in bill-wise in my experience, so it's not clear.

In any case, it's reasonable to want to see the bills, and it's reasonable to ask for a deduction if he's not staying there and not consuming metered utilities.

You do need to find out exactly what's gone on with the deposit, and make sure the estate agent knows that you want it back - otherwise they could trash his room and leave him with that bill just to be malicious. The deposit probably can't be used for bills as in any case it should be lodged with a deposit protection scheme - either communally if it's a shared tenancy, or individually if HMO

Lynnm63 · 06/06/2016 13:42

I've only read your posts op but I'd not pay. Tell them he's paid all he's going to and that if they make any further contact you'll take it further, police and uni for harassment. They're bullies and if you stand up yo bullies they usually fold. Contact the estate agent and see if you can get his share of the deposit back.
FWIW even if he is a man he's still your baby and its instinct to protect them.

IWILLgiveupsugar · 06/06/2016 13:43

I wouldnt pay it. Make the little shits takr him to court for it (doubt they will) and get legal advice re the deposit. Am pretty dure letting agent can return your son's directly to him.

jay55 · 06/06/2016 13:44

Is his name on any of the bill accounts? If not he shouldn't pay. If he is he needs to contact the supplier and make sure they know he's moved out.

starry0ne · 06/06/2016 13:44

Here you have 3 options

He pays and moves on

He contacts lead person..Blocks everyone else so he isn't getting hassle from all of them.

He blocks everyone and wonders what happens next.

I would say with the anxiety it may well be worth paying it.

ChocChocPorridge · 06/06/2016 13:45

To everyone saying he's an adult - this is how landlords and other people get away with exploiting young people who don't know any better.

Support your son, there's nothing wrong with that at all.

Nuggy2013 · 06/06/2016 13:46

Check the contract. My BF had a similar situation where he was left with all the bills to pay because he and his flat mates did not have a contract of agreement drawn up between them to share the bills and whoever' name the bill was in was liable rather than the housemates

leelu66 · 06/06/2016 13:50

Fuck that. Don't pay them a penny.

Will he get his deposit back?

blindsider · 06/06/2016 14:00

I imagine the utilities are not included in the contract, if he has vacated the property I.e not going back I would tell them to take a running jump. I would also get the landlord in to check his room etc. As he may be responsible for damages post his departure.

StopLookingAtMyAccount · 06/06/2016 14:02

I think it would be really wrong not to pay anything just because the other students are obnoxious. Two wrongs don't make a right. He needs to pay what he owes. The fact they are obnoxious is a separate issue.

ChicRock · 06/06/2016 14:04

Tell them to go fuck themselves and block them all.

MariaSklodowska · 06/06/2016 14:05

" The fact they are obnoxious is a separate issue. "

no it is not. They were SO obnoxious to this poor boy that he left the uni early and had to start a new course elsewhere. Not separate at all, but part of the problem.

LordoftheTits · 06/06/2016 14:07

It doesn't sound like he's likely to get his deposit back so I'd tell them to take it out of that and to go fuck themselves.