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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to not allow DS to pay bills?

94 replies

helloitsmenotadele · 06/06/2016 12:05

Hello,
My DS is 19 and has lived in a shared house in his university town since September, and he has moved out early.
Each month himself and four other boys have been paying a set amount, £60, I believe, towards utility bills and internet, regardless of the amount of time they have spent in the property.
My DS's housemates had a falling out with him before he arrived in September for no reason at all, I've seen all the conversations and it seems as though they suddenly conspired against him, and therefore, during this past year at university they have made his life a living hell, to the point where he has developed anxiety, of which is no way for a young man to live.
He wasn't able to find another tenant to take his room, so he had to stay, only spending as little time in the property as possible.
He moved out very early because he could not stand the way his housemates made him feel and now they are demanding he pays £120 towards the bills for May and June, even though he left the property before the end of April, and only spent approximately 8 days in the property before he moved out.
They are now hounding him for this money, but I don't feel he should pay - He has contributed an awful lot already, and he doesn't even live there anymore... AIBU???

OP posts:

AlpacaPicnic · 06/06/2016 12:43

Tell them that they need to send copies of the bills and if necessary you will make a direct proportional payment to the companies involved and email a copy of the receipt. That way they cannot profit from the money.

Original poster

helloitsmenotadele · 06/06/2016 12:44

The rent has been paid up already.
I'm just not sure what to do, because in all my life I haven't ever seen people be so horrible to someone for no reason. I know everyone thinks the sun shines out of their children, by my DS is pure gold, he used for many organisations and fed the homeless before he developed his anxiety. It's saddening

OP posts:

whois · 06/06/2016 12:45

He should just pay, and forget about it.

A couple £hundred is not worth the mental stress of being in contact and fighting them.

DeathpunchDoris · 06/06/2016 12:48

If the Utilities are part of the Tenancy agreement or part of a written contract then he is liable to pay. The same would apply for the rent. However, if the money they each paid towards utilities was just a verbal agreement amongst them, then he has every right to ask for copies of bills/expenditure and a break down of everyone's contributions. He should also make sure that someone else hasn't moved in and they are just trying to profit from it all. If the agreement was just verbal, I wouldn't think he is liable, particularly as he was hounded out of the property and is being asked to pay for services he clearly hasn't used. Ask for proof.

3littlefrogs · 06/06/2016 12:49

Please report this to the relevant people OP.
It sounds like a stitch up to me.

blueskyinmarch · 06/06/2016 12:50

I think he should pay. If it has always been £60 per month for the utilities and he is still paying rent he still needs to pay the bills. Put the horribleness and bullying to one side, pay the bills, move on. That is my advice to your DS.

HermioneJeanGranger · 06/06/2016 12:50

for you and DS. But I don't think it's worth fighting this - the sooner he sees the back of these boys the better. Pay the money and block them. Then you never have to worry about them again.

CoolCarrie · 06/06/2016 12:50

And I hope he has good housemates and enjoys his time at university. YANBU, however his mental health is much more important than those arseholes!

sockrage · 06/06/2016 12:51

Can he contact the utility companies to check the prices?

I actually would not pay anything without seeing bills.

I would also be reporting their behaviour to the uni.

sockrage · 06/06/2016 12:53

If they have been so horrendous to him theres a chance they are landing him with part of their share of bills.

No bills proof no money

Original poster

helloitsmenotadele · 06/06/2016 12:55

DS did offer to pay towards internet, the other lads stayed throughout the whole month of the easter holidays etc...
The deposit was £400... It goes to the lead tenant of whom he has previously paid the bills to, and he's no longer in contact with, so i doubt we will be seeing any of that at all..
DS was the last one to message the lead tenant, yet he hasn't responded.
I know DS is a man, and I know he should fight for himself, and he would have if this was a year ago, but they've belittled him to this - I want to fight for him.

OP posts:

OliviaStabler · 06/06/2016 12:56

I would not pay a bean unless I saw the bills. If the bills are produced, I'd pay the share of 8 days and any fixed bills but that's it.

littlemonkey5 · 06/06/2016 12:58

I have been through similar.

We were living in a tied house with no contracts (except Emails with job references and wages etc). They moved our family up, let us sign up for new schools etc, then threw us out once DH had fixed everything. They failed to pay us so we went to tribunal and won (of course) but then, they made up some bills and proceeded to chase us for it through the courts. It went to court, we told the judge that the claimant needed to prove we owed £160+ --of oil in July/August???? plus all the other things they were claiming. Well, we know full well they can't prove it, as we had no such conversation, nor signed contract. I guess the claimant has gone away or gone bust for being as dodgy as hell because we've not been contacted for a few months now.......

It is very hard to prove a verbal agreement so always get it in writing, especially include a get out early clause.

But not having it in writing saved us £1000+ (plus, we never used THAT much oil in the summer!!!)

AristotleTheGreat · 06/06/2016 13:00

I disagree.
He should NOT be paying until he has, at least, seen a copy of the bills. Actually he shouldn't have been paying in the first place, wo seen a copy of the bills....

If they have been that bad with him, I wouldn't be surprised if they've asked him to pay MORE than his fair share.
I agree paying the Internet is nice and is making sense. However, paying for the le tricky and the gas when he isn't there makes no sense at all. With one person less, they will be using less and therefore he will be paying, not for something he hasn't used, but over What he should be paying if there was a fair split.

If they aren't happy to provide copies of the bills, then I would smell rats and be even more keen to not pay.

MariaSklodowska · 06/06/2016 13:01

I agree with Olivia.

Tell them to use his deposit money.

Try to step back a bit, although i know it is hard. From what you have told us, your DS reminds me a little of my brother who was too kind for his own good, and ended up getting ill from other people's nasty behaviour.

WhereYouLeftIt · 06/06/2016 13:03

"They are now hounding him for this money"
Presumably by phone/Facebook? I'd just block them. And absolutely not pay. 'No' is a complete sentence he culd send before blocking. And so is 'Fuck off'.

ToffeeForEveryone · 06/06/2016 13:04

He has to pay rent but unless there is any written contract saying he's jointly liable for utilities I don't think he has to pay.

Re. Deposit, he should contact the letting agent to let them know he has moved out due to a disagreement with the lead tenant and ask for his share of the deposit. If he was named on the tenancy agreement / has some evidence £400 came from him this should be straightforward - ie paid in cheque or a direct transfer from his acc. If the deposit was paid as a lump sum by the lead tenant it could be difficult to recoup.

BestZebbie · 06/06/2016 13:07

He signed up to live there, he needs to pay the full year of bills that he committed to (unless he has found someone to take his place who his housemates agree to live with). That has nothing to do with how he got on with his housemates or not.

If one of the others had left suddenly with several months to go, would you feel it was fair for your son's budget to be blown by a sudden and unavoidable 33% increase in costs?

Original poster

helloitsmenotadele · 06/06/2016 13:08

DS paid the money to the estate agent, he has sadly lost the receipt but it's on a bank statement from the month he paid.
We don't want harm or hassle, but I work all the hours under the sun to be able to provide for DS's rent and bills, as the student loan is insufficient, and the money we'd lose in this situation could be spent on better things, and saved towards the next academic year

OP posts:

Tiggeryoubastard · 06/06/2016 13:12

I'm sure I could find better things to spend my mortgage and bill money on. That's irrelevant. He had a contract. He needs to pay. Re the deposit, I would contact the uni (well would advise son to) if his share doesn't appear, actually I'd contact anyway as the lead tenant is ignoring your son.

MariaSklodowska · 06/06/2016 13:12

But BestZebbie,

a. They have his deposit
b. He has not seen copies of any bills.
c. They shouldnt have been so cuntish to him, maybe they will learn now.

sparkleglitterdaisy · 06/06/2016 13:12

Unfortunately I think he should go ahead & pay . Even if it was a verbal agreement .It may not be fair but it's better to move on . I'm sorry he had such a horrible experience, is this his last year ? Or does he have more ? Then has he sorted out accommodation for next year ? I'd also block them from Facebook etc....

MariaSklodowska · 06/06/2016 13:13

and Tigger - 'contact the uni'? How would that work with a private landlord then?

Original poster

helloitsmenotadele · 06/06/2016 13:14

BestZebbie,
I'm not sure if you know how bills work...
If one person is absence, less is being used, therefore, the bills are less - for example, last summer my household went away for 6 weeks and the bills we received which would have accrued whilst we were away were significantly, and i mean significantly, less than what it would be if we were there, apart from sky and internet...
Apparently, the university can't assist DS because it is not a university property

OP posts:

Floggingmolly · 06/06/2016 13:16

He's left the University to "get away" from them??

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