To not accept dds apology

[sockrage]

Who has picked up and thrown a heavy book at me in temper and hit me in the breasts with it because she couldn't find something and that apparently was my fault.

Instead of being apologetic she raved on that it doesn't hurt if your hit in the breasts and I want a perfect child because I expect her not to hurt me.

Shes just come in 40 minutes later to apologise and expects everything to immediately go back to normal.

If she had apologised straight away fair enough but she didn't

#thoroughlypissedoffmum, please count your blessings that she does actually appreciate that what she did was wrong and apologised. Some DDs don't appreciate when they have crossed a great big fat line! I do hope you manage to sort things out and give each other a hug!

If I had done that to my mother at 13, I probably wouldnt be alive now.

I would give her the complete and utter old shoulder along with any other punishment you dole out.

Accept the apology gracefully.

Discuss with her that actions have consequences and punish her.

Take her phone/ electronics/ money, whatever.

She needs to learn that violence solves nothing and she only she is responsible for her actions and the consequences that they bring.

Do not talk at her or nag, move on.

Me, the X-box and a sledgehammer.... The temptation would be strong...

However, that's obviously not a terribly constructive approach so probably best kept as a (highly satisfying) fantasy. I like the approach suggested by notagiraffe of getting her to accept that what she did was wrong through refusing to allow her to dissemble and bluster her way out of the conversation. She needs to understand that what she did cannot be fixed with an insincere sorry flung across the room.

A 13 yo although not an adult, is not 3 years old. You know right from wrong at that age. Had she thrown a book in that fashion at a teacher or another pupil at school, she wold be looking at expulsion as a bare minimum.

I wouldnt accept her apology gracefully at all, she wouldnt get her mother being normal with her for a bloody long time.

When I had my baby girl a long time ago my mum's best advice was to talk to her as much as you can, be a mum first but also a friend. I have only had a few moments when I have been disappointed with DD but believe in being clear about the said horror and explaining why. In your case I would tell her I don't want to be annoyed with you but for your own sake, what am I teaching you if I am not? If I instantly forgive I will be teaching you that it is OK in the future for someone to get away with being violent towards you. Make it about her and it will show you care about her despite the action but your job is to make sure she learns appropriate behaviour for her own future well-being. Oh and def consequences with guilt trips galore for good measure

OP, I hope she is not trying to bully you in your home.

Her apology doesn't sound sincere. She's sorry she is being punished, not sorry for what she did.