I can be shouty mummy. I hate shouty mummy. As does our girl. Daddy can be shouty too. And he is loud shouty. We've realised it achieves nothing other than making ourselves feel better for venting. It does nothing to address the behaviour of whomever is the target of the shouting.
Because of this, I am trying to be less shouty, we've discussed it between Mr Foo and I and have come up with a strategy. If our girl is shouty and loses her temper, she goes to her room and gets it out of her system. Mr Foo goes to the garage, I generally go wherever others aren't. It is slowly working, however Mr Foo is less able to sit and listen to our girl venting. It makes him angry when she just won't stop and a few times, as she is coming to the end of it, he loses it and goes in and shouts at her. If I catch him before he gets there, I remind him just to go to the garage or something. If I miss the moment and he's gone in to her and is ranting, I never, ever go in and tell him to stop. That would send entirely the wrong message. Instead I will hover, try to catch his attention out of her eyeline and try to let him know to leave her to it. He doesn't like that much - if he's lost his temper the last thing he wants is me questioning his parenting, but at least it's me who deals with his ire.
We don't generally argue in front of her. But I'd be a liar if I said we never do it. I think it's unrealistic and unhelpful to say you should never do it. But definitely consider the effect if it is a regular thing.
Once everyone is calm, we will sit and talk about what's happened and come up with a plan to avoid it happening again. Part of our girls rant is always "I just want you to listen to me". But she is the most listened to child I know! What we won't listen to is the same thing she has said a dozen times, and we have already responded to, In a very clear way. What I find is, a 7 year old's version of things isn't always a true reflection of what's happened. And much of what they say can be very over dramatic. Just as you didn't mean you wanted to end it all, she didn't really mean she wants to die when you have a row with your husband. Take it on board that she doesn't like it, but let's not elevate a 7 year old "I just want to die" to the status of anything more serious than "jeez, I wish daddy and mummy wouldn't shout so much"
Oh, and, my seven year old will come up with the most dramatic conversations (usually around her disability) at bedtime if she thinks it will keep me in there chatting til well past her bedtime. Common rouse, don't fall for it. Tell her you love her and we can speak about it in the morning when we are fresh and have all the time in the world. I find our girl rarely does, even when I open it for her.