after GA

[grumpyafterGA]

Had a minor op earlier today under general anaesthetic. DH took me to the hosp, went off with the 3 DCs (11 months, 4 and 8). Gave them lunch, came back to get me and now we're home. Wondered where he was - he has gone upstairs without saying anything and laid down on our bed (he said he hurt his back earlier). I'm downstairs on my own with the 3 kids. AIBU to want a little TLC after my op and General anaesthetic? An offer of something to eat or drink wouldn't go amiss. AIBU to think it's just courtesy to tell me if he's going upstairs to lie down? And if anyone gets to lie down upstairs right now, it's me!!

YANBU.

YANBU. Send the 4yo and/or 8yo up to wake him and then when he comes down take yourself off up to bed instead.

He needs to take some painkillers and suck it up. An operation and GA trumps a hurty back in the 'who needs a rest?' stakes. If it was long term I'd be saying he needs five minutes to recharge, caring is tiring, etc. but it's a day. He can step up for a day.

I think you aren't being unreasonable to want to be able to rest after a GA. I had one a few years ago, and for about 2 days after, would just doze off on the sofa unexpectedly. It made me feel wiped out, and I certainly wouldn't want to be in charge of three young kids.

Definitely not. For one thing I don't think it's safe to look after a baby after a GA as you're likely to feel woozy. Go to bed!

Send the two older children to look after Daddy!

Yep- you need to swap places with him.

I don't think you're supposed to be left alone if you have had a GA? Certainly not being expected to be responsible for a child ffs.

Does this prince amongst men have previous form for being unsupportive, selfish and passive agressive.

He sounds like my EX

Note, ex.

Send the kids up to him. Better, GO upstairs, Go to bed and tell him he's in charge for the kids for the rest of the weekend, all meals etc, you are signing yourself OFF

I've recently had an op with only local anaesthetic and had to confirm I had someone to look after me for the first 48 hours. GA is a much bigger deal and you shouldn't be looking after children. You need to rest and heal.

Thankyou I feel vindicated and glad NBU. I sent up dc aged 8 to ask him to come down as the kids need tea. So she reported back that he said no because he can't move because of his back (which he has not taken any pain killers for). I harrumphed (a word?) and had a go at him - courtesy, meant to have a responsible adult with me, shouldn't be looking after kids etc. didn't get much response so changed little ones nappy and started making easy tea of eggs on toast. He has now appeared and apologised in his way which involves humour and annoying stroking. Am pissed off and feel robbed of my afternoon of TLC! Shouldn't be surprised as he is the worst 'nurse' ever. Does have some form but the overall picture is ok at the moment, we get by and he has lots of strengths they're just not in the forefront of my mind right now.

Couldn't make tea cos his back hurt? I would have called for takeout for the older ones, nice pizza maybe then told him to answer the door for it. I'd be sodding furious with him. Shouldn't you be in bed resting?

Is he helping out now??

Yes in a sort of not taking the initiative way. sigh.

Yanbu. I had (planned) abdominal surgery last Friday, came home on Sunday. Monday morning my dh was admitted to hospital - not planned, but he's not a well person so hospital stays for him aren't uncommon. He should be discharged next Tuesday. It's been a tricky week but my dc are older, and we've managed - until last night when I had a funny turn and blacked out in the shower for a couple of seconds.

I wasn't going to tell dh as didn't want to worry him, but got unexpectedly weepy on the phone to him this morning - couple of hours later, dh walks through the door. He spent a couple of hours doing all he could for me, and has now taken himself back to hospital.

I'm sorry, that was a horrible "I'm alright Jack" post - I didn't mean it like that at all, I just wanted to give you some indication of what you could expect of your dh, who presumably is generally healthy and on the premises.

I had a GA a couple of days ago. I don't feel up to looking after myself never mind anyone else yet. Go and lie down and rest up for a couple days. Today is day 3 for me and the worst one yet. Sending best wishes

Years back, I had a close acquaintance who was involved in anaesthesia. He told me that the effects of a GA on the system could last for up to a week - and that I absolutely shouldn't drive or do anything that required concentration or close attention for a good few days if I had one.

Thanks everyone. You gave me the confidence to be more assertive. I'm now lying down mumsnetting resting. And it's ok Juan, it's helpful to contrast.
It's a familiar story really, he works long hours so isn't around much during the week so isn't that familiar with the younger kids routine and seems to expect some sort of medal for looking after them, when he does!! Hasn't mentioned the back again, very sensibly....

Stay in bed all day tomorrow, and drink plenty of fluids.

Hope you are soon feeling better.