Who IBU in their definition of lying

[Rarararaa]

1. Omitting information isn't lying - so if asked 'what did you do today' and you answer 'went to work' but skipped the part where you went to a bar/robbed a bank/hired a hitman that wouldn't be a lie

1. Unless you're asked the exact right question it's not a lie to deny it. So if i ask you if you spent £250 in a bookies but you spent £250.50 then denying it isn't a lie.

1. Promising to do something you have no intention of doing 'for an easy life' isn't a lie.

For context, DH and I are separating (amicably - both too young, shouldn't have got married yada yada) and we both think the other will have a hard time finding someone who subscribes to the others definition of lying.

DH thinks the above are fine, I think they're lies. Who IBU?

Well, it's only if it's a significant thing Ego.

If someone asks what you did, and you don't mention breathing, or eating rice crispies for breakfast, it's not lying. It's just not important. If you omit the fact that you robbed a bank, then your intention would be to deceive, which means you would be lying.

I think he denied gambling at all because the amount she mentioned was not what he had spent iyswim

If you love someone, these 'lies' aren't so much an issue. It's all part of being in a relationship and how easy going you both are. I couldn't live with someone who wanted to know EXACTLY how much I had spent, and EXACTLY what I'd done that day.

I ask DH "how much was that drill?" He says "£40", but it was actually £46.99 then I wouldn't have an issue as it is roughly the same price.

Being a bloke DH often neglects to tell me information and promises to do things he has no intention of doing clearing the gutters/power washing the drive

I agree with sirfred and others. They may or may not be lies depending on context, motivation and interpretation. Exact definitions are irrelevant. What matters is that you disagree on these and other things and your differences are making you both unhappy.
You mention that you are both quite young and this need for absolutes/to be seen as correct can also be a young thing. As you get older you realise that things can be messier, more imperfect and still be pretty good.

The first two are lies of omission, where you lie by leaving out a piece of information the other person has a right to hear.

The third is a lie of commission, which really just means 'a lie'. If you know you will never do something you've promised to do, how's that not a lie?

All lies of differing kinds - it's why in court you have to swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

aah, right royston he said he never gambled in the first place!

I think 2 reads incorrectly.

it is more like this:

OP: "Did you spend £250 in the bookies?"
DH: "No, I didn't spend any money in the bookies" (when in fact he had spent £250.50)

If that's correct, then 2 is a lie.

All 3 are deceitful, but different levels.

All of them are lying.

I think the dictionary definitions are "a deliberate falsehood" and "an intention to mislead". If answering any of these questions would knowingly mislead the questioner, they're lies.

Generally they're dishonest. But I agree with PP, you can't say everything you did in the course of the day, and what counts as significant will vary. I think if you deliberately withhold information that you suspect your partner would want to know, you're lying.

If I didn't know he wasn't married I would think you were divorcing my ex. I am with you on the definitions of lying he is with your "D"H.

I agree with your definitions OP.

1. Not a lie.

1. A lie (but technically not)

1. A lie

1. Not a lie - But can be deceitful
2. Not a lie - But can be deceitful
3. A blatant lie

Whether it fits the legal definition of deliberate untruth is just sophistry on his part. You're supposed to be in a relationship, not a court of law. The precise definition is not the crucial issue; that he spends so much time being deceitful is. You will be so much better off without a sneaky fecker in your life.

Thanks for the replies everyone

To answer a few comments - I'm asking because it's been a big part of why we're separating and, being each others only significant relationship, we don't have a frame of reference for what's normal here. He was adamant that the examples above were absolutely fine and to me that's crazy.

I don't need to know every minor detail of his day - in the examples above they were all things which he knew would cause issues (eg gambling, drinking, getting taxis across London when we were absolutely broke, saying he'd be home for dinner then rolling in at 5am)

And we're not that young. I know people have differences of opinion, but I did explain to him what I thought was acceptable in terms of honesty and he agreed. But then I found out about point 3 .

Anyway, all in the past now

I would have an issue with all 3 examples. Basically put, if I ask a question and someone understands my reason for asking it, then gives an answer that evades the reason for that question, they've been dishonest, no matter how clever they think their answer was.

I'd count all three as deceitful, misleading, unacceptable. Not sure it matters what you label them.

this.
technically, I am not sure they are all lies. But I would find them unacceptable. I personally would not answer this way.

eg - what did you do today? I know what my partner is asking, so to deliberately mislead would not be acceptable. Unless of course I was planning a surprise party etc, and was hiding that.
Which is why the intention here to me is important

He's wrong, you're right ergo he gets all the ugly furniture & you get anything you want.

I'm not at all surprised you're going your own way. Very sensible!

The fort two are not lies proper but lies by omission. All of them are deceitful and destructive of trust.

Lies of omission and lies of commission. They're both lies.