To support DD 17 who wants a breast reduction?

[MumOfSadDD]

DD is 17, nearly 18. For years now she's been talking about wanting a breast reduction, I put this down to teen low self esteem, thinking she would get over it.

I don't see her naked very often because she feels so self conscious but we're on holiday now. Yesterday we were talking about it and she showed me what she was talking about.

We're due to go for a proper bra fitting when we get home, her last one 18 months ago measured her as a 36G and she's much bigger than that now.

Not only that, it's the shape of her breasts that's the problem, I don't want this thread to attract trolls and voyeurs so I will just say that they need uplifting.

My poor, poor girl. When I saw them I immediately understood.

Her BMI is 27, we have discussed ways to reduce this before she can have an op but she can't run or do any exercise that causes bounce, even with a good sports bra it's painful.

They are also causing back pain and bad posture.

Any advice/opinions/experiences would be appreciated.

As DD asked me to start this thread I have name changed so she can see your replies.

I am planning a breast reduction and have had random family members begging me not to as if it was their own body being changed. They don't understand how horrible it is being so uncomfortable in your own body. Let her do it, support her.

Yanbu. Not at all.

Absolutely support her. A friend of mine (who's dad is a GP) had this done at 17 and it gave her back quality of life. It's not vanity, it's being able to move around without pain and take part in sport and exercise. When she could do 'normal' things, her confidence increased too.

As a side note I am 22 and have waited until after my children as the breast removed can grow back during pregnancy. I wouldn't encourage her to rush to have children but I didn't want to spend all that money and have them change so drastically again with pregnancy.

Yanbu. I'd be supporting her all the way. Good luck to your dd

I would support your daughter 100% One thing I would point out is trying to get her to wait a couple of years until her breasts have stopped growing! At 19 I was 34B, My boobs got a growth burst a few years (about 23) ago and now I'm 36E! (before getting pregnant at least haha)!

Absolutely support her.

I know two women who've had reductions and neither has regretted it for a single second.

If her breasts are causing back pain and impeding her ability to exercise then obviously her health with improve with a reduction as well as her self esteem. As she's a size 10 on the bottom I'd guess she's not actually overweight and her breasts are contributing to her higher BMI. Either way the suggestion of swimming as a possible form of exercise for her is a good one.

Breastfeeding (if she decides to have children) shouldn't be a problem if the nipple and areola are left intact but that would be something to talk to the surgeon about.

Why not take her to your GP in the first instance? They'll be able to point you in the right direction at least. It may be that she has to wait a couple of years before a surgeon will operate on her but there's no harm in asking the question.

Best wishes to you both.

sepa her bmi will defo be affected by her breast size. I'm a 10 on bottom but my boobs weight an absolute tonne. I'm sure they add on an extra half stone AND they make me look bigger than I actually am :(

I think most people would agree you should support her while she explores her options (which is clearly what you are doing) and definitely find a good and reputable surgeon to talk to to help her decide if it's really what she wants.

As far as exercise goes definitely get a good swimsuit with bra sizings (so Bravissimo or Fig Leaves), I feel totally secure in mine (32FF).

How would she feel about early morning swimming? I say that because I swim at 6.30am each day and at 45 I'm definitely at the young end of the women in the pool. There's lots of people 60+ and then about 5 of us in our 40s and a couple in their 20s, when I went early morning swimming in a student town 20 years ago there was also a lot of older people rather than young students. It might help with her self consciousness if she's surrounded by people with 'less attractive' bodies than her own.

Another exercise that might help is yoga or pilates, both build core strength that would help with any back pain and would improve her posture that would also help her look and feel better. And no jiggling! If she's self conscious about going to a class then there's lots of videos on youtube - Yoga with Adriene is very popular on the yoga threads here and might be worth a look.

I would support her choice in this, she sounds miserable.

Second those suggesting 36 is an unlikely back size for a size 10 bottom. I'm size 12- 14 bottom and 28K. Good bras make such a difference. Exercise wise - sports bra that fits plus one or two compression tops worked for me.

Yanbu I've always been as you describe, busty and smaller waist. I hate it. I only grew to accept it because my waist is no longer so small, it's about proportion I think.

Absolutely support her.

This resonated with me as for the last 20ish years I have gone from a size medium top to a Large or extra large top - measuring my boobs they come out as a 36E (which means I am a size 16 top) but my hips are a size 12 (sometimes a size 10) having been trying to get my weight down from 9 stone to 8 and a half (I am only 5ft 1 inch tall) I did wonder if the boobs contribute to the weight (and result in my shoulder and neck pain).
Being of a hippy vintage I am reluctant to wear heavily structured bras at age 70 and use the stretchy ones to keep everything in. OP I would so support your DD - at her age she will be very self-conscious and her boobs may well increase in size over the years.

Just one thing you need to consider is that they may grow back. I only know one person who has had this operation and 10 years later she is now the same size as she was before the op. She hasn't put on any weight and is very slim everywhere else.

I can't comment on the surgery side but I saw something the other day in regards to the exercise.......

If you're worried about stress on the ligaments through bouncing around, try exercising on your back, laying down. The video I saw was of a lady laying on the floor with her feet against the wall. She was using the wall as a resistance platform. She was also working her upper body by using weights but doing it all laying down which was obviously supporting her back......

I have nothing useful to say about the reduction other than to make absolutely sure she has finished growing first.

But with regards bras, if at all possible please please go to rigby and peller. They have been a real saviour for bra fitting. So much better than any other place I have been, they fit each bra, they don't give you a size and let you get on with it and will often not tell you the size they are trying on you so as not to colour judgement.

So many friends have ended up in better bras, meaning better posture and less pain.

I really hope your DD gets some relief.

I had a reduction on the NHS at 15. It was brilliant. You must support her.

However, I would strongly link this with an exercise programme, swimming would be best. She needs to get her core strength up to improve posture and keep the weight off.

When I had mine done the Consultant told me that I could expect my breasts to grow back because I was genetically predisposed to fat store there. He was right - any weight gain or loss shows in my bra first, even 25 years on. Weight is the main factor in breast size.

I was also told that I might need another in the future, and I am going to have an uplift but I am putting it off for a couple of years.

Absolutely you should support her, but please make sure she's stopped growing first. I know someone who had a reduction in their late teens and they grew back - she ended up having 2 surgeries. She doesn't want that.

In the meantime supportive bras are the way forward. I'm a 32JJ and empathise - my bras are always so expensive!

We did have her properly fitted before. We travelled 30 miles to a specialist shop and we're going back again next week. This shop specialises not just in larger sizes and unusual sizes but also post- mastectomy and other post-surgery bras. They are recommended locally by surgeons, the large chested and just about anyone else we have spoken to.
No, it isn't a Bravissimo but our nearest branch is about 60 miles away.
It's certainly not M&S either.

I do think that she needs to be fitted again and she will be, but that's not the whole problem.
It's about shape as well as size.

I've been on MN a long time, I know about bra interventions and how revolutionary they can be my last one was but this is more than that.

She will also discuss this with our lovely GP as that seems to be a good place to start.

Good luck. Both DD and I have the opposite problem and, while I have come to terms with the fact that I will never be more than a B cup, DD (nearly 16) is terribly self conscious about her lack of curves. A lot of it due to some horrible sexist body shaming remarks from some of the idiotic boys at school.

Curvier girls are not the only ones who are made to feel bad about themselves because of their cup size, so I sympathise with your daughter.

I would support her 100% for a reduction, but be prepared to wait.
I've been begging for one since 17 (I went from nothing there to a D cup over night and they didn't stop!) But I've been met with excuse after excuse to not get one and I am still fighting for it.
I'm a size 16 and a 32 back (despite lea and Debenham and everywhere else trying to say I'm a 36/38!) So I'd definitely try smaller back sizes. Just changing to a smaller band size has massively improved my back pain.
As for risk with not being able to breastfeed, my own experience with my JJ books was that they were too big to handle and as a result, despite lots of specialist help, I was unable to breastfeed my daughter so there are risks either way. (On a side note ff dd was a big success and she has thrived with it so it's really not the end of the world!)
For swimming try a curvy Kate tankini, for the first time since school I can swim in comfort and separate top and bottom means that it fits great as I can each to first properly! They come in bra sizes but usually come up about 1 size smaller than expected bra wise but they are a miracle in my life!

I'd support her, absolutely, but wait until she has lost the amount of weight she wants to. My friend had it done privately, then lost about three stone and they got stretch marks on and became slightly saggy again.

I myself am a 34GG and tried to get one on the NHS (I have two prolapsed discs in my neck, and have had three spinal surgeries) but they turned me down. If it is the NHS you're trying, they will advise weight loss, and probably waiting too, I was a 34DD at aged 16 then by 20 a 34GG.
It's life changing though, and I WILL get it done one day.

Nickname used, the amount of names I was called for having huge boobs was unbelievable. I sympathise, but I do think reduction if your have huge boobs can be a medical issue, repeated infections, and spinal problems and also I actually have grooves in my shoulders.

I'd love a pair of small pert b's!

If she is self conscious and wants to exercise I would recommend body weight exercises (none of these require any form of jumping) and some weight work with dumbbells - she can do these at home, in a room with the curtains drawn (I do this).
No jumping around required, weights can be bought quite reasonably online. I do a set 3 times a week for 35 minutes. Has made a huge difference to my figure.
Press ups will tone the upper chest and lift the bust naturally. Squats with weights will tone legs and use smaller weights for the arms.
I have lifted weights for years but never used a gym, I use Cathe Friedrich DVD and make up my own exercise regime from books.
Would unreservedly recommend: this book and this book