To support DD 17 who wants a breast reduction?

[MumOfSadDD]

DD is 17, nearly 18. For years now she's been talking about wanting a breast reduction, I put this down to teen low self esteem, thinking she would get over it.

I don't see her naked very often because she feels so self conscious but we're on holiday now. Yesterday we were talking about it and she showed me what she was talking about.

We're due to go for a proper bra fitting when we get home, her last one 18 months ago measured her as a 36G and she's much bigger than that now.

Not only that, it's the shape of her breasts that's the problem, I don't want this thread to attract trolls and voyeurs so I will just say that they need uplifting.

My poor, poor girl. When I saw them I immediately understood.

Her BMI is 27, we have discussed ways to reduce this before she can have an op but she can't run or do any exercise that causes bounce, even with a good sports bra it's painful.

They are also causing back pain and bad posture.

Any advice/opinions/experiences would be appreciated.

As DD asked me to start this thread I have name changed so she can see your replies.

I have a dd and would 100% support her decision if she had this problem, in fact I'd save and pay for it myself. This isn't for cosmetic reasons it's for her health and mental wellbeing. I know my mil had hers reduced due to years of back pain & has never looked back.

She isn't very overweight, but it might be worth trying to lose some weight to get down to BMI 25 so that there is more likelihood that NHS might assist if it is causing back problems. However, although her breasts will obviously get a bit smaller it probably isn't going to make all the difference. I have been a couple of stone lighter than I am now and it didn't make much difference to cup size. It would be better to wait a little for surgery because, as other posters have said, she is very young. Have you tried Shock Absorber sports bras? The ones with two sets of back straps are great. Exercise wise swimming might be okay if she feels okay about wearing a cossie and you can get a reasonably supportive one. Also, what about weights machines to strengthen the muscles around the area (may lift a bit) and particularly in the back?

Mum, IME (GP) in 20odd years I can only remember one person who regretted a breast reduction and many who later in life regretted an augmentation.

to your DD.
Why don't you speak to your GP as a first step?
In many areas breast reductions are available under the NHS under certain conditions. There is a lengthy waiting time and usually a psychological assessment prior to surgery. That would kinda also buy some time and allow her breasts to finish developing.

I developed early and I hated my boobs at that age. Unwanted attention from males of all ages was just horrible, so sympathies to her

Oh god yes, support her 100%.

But if, as pps have said, there's a good chance that she'll have to wait till she's 20 then look at other ways to support her short term. A bra fitting (bravissimo, I've also heard rugby and peller are good). Get her exercising. Swimming would be great, go with her if she's self conscious and present this as something that will take her closer to her overall goal. Can you help her out with some shopping - may be worth seeing if there's a good local tailor who can help with alterations, for example?

If your DD is a size 10 on the bottom half then she isn't a 36G, she's more likely a 30K or something. Please get her to Bravissimo to get fitted properly.
I have no comments on the op, I don't have enough knowledge or experience to make a recommendation, so I'm not trying to ignore that aspect of your OP, just saying in the meantime get her into a properly fitting bra

I had one at 24 (lucky enough back then to get it on the NHS also but I believe that is virtually impossible now - and I do understand why) but it was the best decision I've ever made in life. I had horrendous back pain and still have some scarring from straps and under wiring. I was a size 8 bottom and a size 16 top. Buying swimwear was my absolute idea of hell.

I weighed 7 stone and was a 32 GG. After the op I went to a 32 C. Eighteen years and two children later (and expressing milk for DS to help him as he was premature whilst I chose to bottle feed DD) I'm probably now a 34 C/D.

Support her all the way. DD was approved when she was just 18. In the end she decided against and weirdly she's changed shape so much it's hard to imagine she ever wanted or needed one.
She lost a little weight got a lot fitter through walking mainly and as she felt less self conscious her posture improved- her core stability improved and her boobs just don't show so much somehow.

I had a breast reduction in my 30's (post children) and wish I'd done it sooner. Changed my life. It wasn't for reasons of vanity or trying to be perfect, more that I wanted my normalish body (with some flabby bits and stretch marks) to be topped by normalish breasts rather than freakily large and saggy ones. Agree with trying to get her seen by GP and done on NHS rather than the private clinics, as psychological care much better, and she will have the reassurance of knowing herself that this is a medical issue not a cosmetic one. I did go private, because of timescale, but the fact I'd seen an NHS GP who said I fitted their criteria made me more sure that my decision was a sound one

I second noplanyet.

If she's a size ten for trousers, I would question the 36 band size. I'm a 30ff (so only a cup size down from your dd) and my boobs, while evident, aren't extraordinarily large and if I lose a stone or two, they do go down to an e cup.

One thing I would suggest is for your dd to look at her diet. I've found sugar and grain products seem to mess with my hormones and cause breast swelling.

If she is a size 10 bottom half then, personally, I think it unlikely that she should be wearing a 36. The number is the inch measurement around the rib cage below the breasts. I am a 10 bottom, 16 top and wear a 32FF bra. For years I wore a 36 as recommended by M&S and I SUFFERED with jiggly boobs (no running), back pain etc etc. Then I got properly measured in Rigby & Peller and put in (back then pre children) a 32E and it was heaven! The underband fitting is SO important. If your daughters bra band does not run perfectly level across her back then it is defined nicely the wrong size.

HOWEVER you are NOT unreasonable to support her. I was even told by GP to consider a reduction but I am content (if occasionally frustrated by lingerie and clothing choices). A dear friend of f mine had a reduction a couple of years ago (in her late forties) she went from 34M to 34F. She is very happy with the results BUT it was the most painful thing she has ever experienced and had a long recovery time.

Take your daughter to a SPECIALIST lingerie store. Rigby & Peller, Leia or Bravissimo would be my choice. The worst fitting advice I've ever had have been M&S and Debenhams.

Definitely not defined nicely. Autocorrect is an idiot!

Sorry I forgot the last bit.

And yes, if she wants a reduction, I would most definitely support her. I know two women that have had a reduction and it has changed their lives.

Support her. My mum and sister both had reductions: mum in her 40s and sister in her teens. Their self esteem improved, they were so much happier and both took up sports. Mum ran her first half marathon in her 50s, which she wouldn't have done pre-reduction.
My sister couldn't breastfeed her children but she had such little self confidence before the reduction she might not have met her lovely husband and had these lovely children... It hasn't affected the children's health or bond with their mother.

It's very unusual for a 17 year old to have saggy boobs so it sounds like a good idea . Mine are 32g and I've had two pregnancies , lost and gained weight and although they aren't what they were at 17 , they aren't bad . I would help her as much as you can .

I know someone who had one done the week after her 18th birthday - couldn't find a surgeon who would do it before she was 18. This was about 15 years ago now, and she's never regretted it. She went into it knowing that she would almost certainly have to FF any future DC. However, she now has 2, and breastfed them successfully for over a year each.

Your DD is lucky to have such an understanding mum. to you both

My friend at school had a breast reduction the day after she turned 18. The poor girl was pretty flat chested until she reached about 15 and seemingly overnight these huge breasts grew unchecked. She is only 5'1" and weighed about 6.5 stone (after they were reduced, I remember they weighed a lot but not how much) - so she quickly developed a lot of back pain and problems, creating awful posture which then affected her pelvis, hips and knees and neck. But her confidence was the most affected. The way boys and men treated her was appalling.

Her GP actually said to her that the only reason the op was NHS funded was due to the back pain issues, and if it had just been the social confidence side of things, which left her agoraphobic, almost suicidal, terrified of males and very unhappy indeed, nothing would have been done. This was in 1992/3 though, I hope things are different now.

My friend at school had a breast reduction the day after she turned 18. The poor girl was pretty flat chested until she reached about 15 and seemingly overnight these huge breasts grew unchecked. She is only 5'1" and weighed about 6.5 stone (after they were reduced, I remember they weighed a lot but not how much) - so she quickly developed a lot of back pain and problems, creating awful posture which then affected her pelvis, hips and knees and neck. But her confidence was the most affected. The way boys and men treated her was appalling.

Her GP actually said to her that the only reason the op was NHS funded was due to the back pain issues, and if it had just been the social confidence side of things, which left her agoraphobic, almost suicidal, terrified of males and very unhappy indeed, nothing would have been done. This was in 1992/3 though, I hope things are different now.

Support her.

My best friend had this same issue and one of the things you need to appreciate is that aside from the aesthetic, there is also the practical and medical - my best friend suffered horrendous back and neck problems because of her breasts and their sheer size.

And then there si the self esteem issue - never being able to buy clothes that fit, having people stare at her etc.

And as for potential breastfeedfing in the future - having a reduction (or implant) shouldnt effect that. Talk to the surgeon and doctor first.

Sorry, posted too soon!

I wanted to point out that it was a fantastic success! She was so happy and much more back to her old self again. But - she did have to have them reduced again when she was about 30. Her Dr said she hadn't finished growing when they did the first operation, which can happen so just be aware of that. I remember her whispering to me a couple of years after the first op - "^I'm sure they're growing back a bit!" in a worried tone. They grew back (to nowhere as big as before) very slowly that time though. She's 44 now and had no further problems at all.

Could her BMI be slightly higher because she has big boobs? A size 10 bottom doesn't sound like she needs to lose weight

YANBU.

Support her. Support her all the way. A large bust isn't fun... and I'm "only" a 34 DD - and have been since I was a very skinny 13 year old.

Breastfeeding, also, isn't the be-all and end-all of things, contrary to what a lot will tell you. Yes, it's obviously the better option... but those who are bottle fed are not deprived of nutrients and, actually, may well prove to be better off in the long-term (I was bottle-fed, and so was my DS... who - like me - actually refused to breast-feed from birth - it does happen! But we're the healthiest members of our family so far!). And honestly, when it became clear that my DD was following the maternal side of my family with a 32A bust, I was so relieved it wasn't funny.

So, please, support your daughter all the way - whether now, or in a few years time.

As someone who stopped sport as a teen due to being self conscious (I'm currently a GG/H was a FF/G then) then I'd support her. I got back into it eventually and although I'll never run a marathon I'm fitter than average and happier for it.

I'd say the reduction is only one step of several she sounds like she needs to take.

I agree with getting her a well fitting bra, and sports bra. I wear 2 sports bras if doing something involving running - it just about holds them in place although I do know what a corset must have felt like! If she wants a positive self image shes got to exercise. Bite the bullet and go swimming - find times (first thing in the morning? Friday evening?) when the pool is quiet and has no one she knows and do it. Go with her for support. Also I like cycling as it's another sport that it doesn't matter if you're busty. Exercising improves tone, will slim her bust down a little and will make her feel better about herself. The reduction on its own won't give her that.

I dont mean this to sound unsupportive, trust me I heard every single name related to big boobs when I was younger and it's horrible, but it sounds like she's pinning a lot on having a reduction when it's only one part of the puzzle.