Can you fall for someone you've never met

[PearlNicholas]

Met online,local to me , says all the right things and has my heart racing, I'm in danger of getting carried away
I know I sound like a lunatic, I think I need some sense slapped in to me
We've swapped pics and phone numbers and he just sounds to romantic and lovely but it's all complicated, I need to stop but don't know how and don't know if I can,I feel as high as a kite with all the attention

You can, but it won't necessarily be real, and all of those things he says to you, won't necessarily be true.

DOI: many years ago I basically left my DH for someone I fell in love with online. It didn't end well.

I'd second neverbuythedailymail and say you need to smell them first!! And if it's a relationship that you are in that is stopping you from meeting in real life then maybe you need to have a think about what you want from that?

I met my dh online so anything is possible but how do you even get in to the situation where you're speaking to someone online so much you think you've fallen in love with them when you're married? It's really no different to having an emotional affair with someone at work.

Why not get divorced if you're marriage is so unfulfilling you're having online affairs?

You're both married.
Ok. We need to help you stop this before you get seriously hurt.

Or before your husband gets hurt. But why let a little thing like being married stop you?

You are both married, then he's a shit, isnt he.
How would he treat you if oyu two got together.
Do you think he will be different with you?

Both of you get divorced, then go for it.

If you're both married, you know you need to step away. Obviously you are indulging in escapism for whatever reason. However, be a better person, sort out your real-life issues before even thinking about following any online relationship through. You could lose everything, especially if this other person turns out to be less than they seem. Oh, and no, I truly don't believe you can fall in love with someone you've never met. As I said, you've built it all up in your mind.

What's wrong in your marriage that a. leads you to embark on this disastrous course and b. think it's a good idea?

Or before your husband gets hurt

Yes of course. & the OM's wife, & any children involved.

You're both married so yes you do need to put a stop to this, I wonder if he's using you as a little exciting escape from his relationship too. Sometimes even married people feel a little click with others but of course it's just that, it can't be more, because you are not free to give more.

I'd be ashamed to start a relationship while still married.

I know I'm behaving like a madwoman, neither of us have any intention of leaving our partners
It feels amazing and exciting and sexy and terrifying all at once and all that is overriding any scrap of rationality I've got left
I'm a very very regular poster on hereabut have obviously namechanged
You would be shocked if you knew who I normally am
I know he's probably talking bullshit but I'm falling for all the flattery and romantic lines and am giving them too if I'm being honest

It's definitely escapism for both of us

Blimey, AnyFucker, I'm really shocked at you!

Two things.

First, if you are both married, what are you both doing in a situation where you can talk to someone else and spend enough time talking that you end up falling for each other ? This simply does not happen when everything is as it should be.

Which leads on to Thing Two. If you were to walk away from your marriage now, and then things did not work out with Online Man, would you regret walking away ? If yes, step away from the keyboard, now. Then go and spend time with spouse, nurture the relationship you don't really want to lose.

If no, step away from the keyboard, now, then go and deal with current responsibilities and wind down the relationship you no longer want. Either way, your first responsibility is with the man that is already in your life.

BTW, I am not having a go at you. We were in the same position, 13 years ago. We asked the same questions of ourselves and each other, and made our separate decisions to walk away from the marriages we were in at the time.

And THEN we met up for the first time.

It's never ideal, falling in love with someone when you happen to be married to someone else. There are only two possible outcomes if such a situation that are reasonably fair and decent, and both involve someone being walked away from.

Only you know who that should be in your case.

How did you meet online? Attention and romance is lovely but you need that to be coming from your husband and not someone else. Can you not delete or block him while you sort out how you feel about your real life?

oh dear you are both married, even worse.
My mum had this relationship, both married both had a friendship. Turned into more. My mum left my dad but she was never happy anyway. He didn't leave his wife. However when she died he was with her.

Lol imperial, I very much doubt she would be a daft as I'm being

Hey op, It doesn't matter who you are, you're in trouble & you need a bit of help & understanding. But you know there's no easy answer to this don't you? You've become addicted to the wonderful feelings he gives you, & you'll have to go through the same withdrawal symptoms as a drug addict goes though - it really can be that bad. But you will recover & get over him, just be prepared for a really horrible few months. But you need to be the one who walks away, because even though it will hurt. you'll be the one with the power & the strength to get your life back on track. ( because being addicted to anything is pretty s**t isn't it )
Where you go from there is up to you, leave your dh or stay & try & make it work. Whatever you decide do it with dignity, & not in the midst of an online affair. ( people will find out & your reputation will hit the floor )
All the best

I'm not unhappy with my husband there's nothing there anymore apart from friendship but I don't want leave
I just can't stop thinking about this man and the way he speaks to me and the way he makes me feel, it's like I'm walking on air
I'm aware that he's probably very practiced at this
It's a sort of hookup site we were on

Surfer thank you for being kind and understanding

Why don't you do your husband and daughter a favour and leave?

If you are going on dating sites its only a matter of time before you hurt your husband. I dont know how good you are at covering your tracks online and on your phone, but how would you feel if he found out?

When you say you've swapped phone numbers, do you mean you've actually spoken on the phone?

I think you're better off deleting and blocking his number and never going on that site again. If you want to end your marriage, do the decent thing and end it before you see someone else.

What would you think if you found your husband on a site like that?