To change my mind about buying ps4 for ds 15 birthday

[Teresalosingtheirleaves]

He is so insular right now, comes down to eat, makes his own food where poss thus avoiding family meal times if he can. Quite rude and thoughtless, doesn't do homework. Not any bother exactly. I'm wondering if this is normal teenage boy behaviour and if the much wanted ps4 for his bedroom will make it worse. He doesn't want to use downstairs due to limited playing whilst his younger siblings are around, which is most of the time. My Aibu is ... Is it wrong to change my mind based on his current behaviour.

Normal behaviour from the small amount you've disclosed, although my brother was never rude just thoughtless.

I'd definitely reconsider spending that amount of money - and yes, if he's a hardcore gamer, he won't come down for much at all!

Yes yabu. It's standard behaviour for a fifteen year old. Nothing you've said even remotely resembles a reason to back out of buying a birthday gift.

I always wonder when peole say about this sort of thing what they would prefer?

Your DC is upstairs, he's at home, he's fed, he's warm etc. Providing he's tech savy he should be pretty safe.

Would you rather he be down the park with is friends doing god knows what with god knows who? Would you rather he be doing what i did when i was 15? getting hammered on cheap cider? sleeping aorund? having fights and doing speed?

buy him the PS4. (MY PS1 changed my life and stopped me going down the self destructive path i was on)

Well he is up there all the time anyways. So nothing much will change tbh. That's what 15yos do. I hated sitting in the living room when I was a teen. I was always in my room. I still like the peace and quiet of my bedroom now though the young kids keep me from it mainly.

Well, you will stop seeing him at all. If you do go ahead, make sure you do have an idea what sort of games he plays. Online playing is a thing I would be worried about.

Yes, it is.

My youngest DD stopped Horse Riding and other hobbies at around this age, she's a big gamer. At 17, she was back socialising.

All of my DDs have gone through, the 'rude', not wanting to be with family stage, at around this age.

Not buying him this, won't make him want to get out of the house, more.

You need to deal with him not doing homework, separately, but have a chat with him now, saying that it's a non-negotiable requirement and game time will be limited, if it's not done.

Ah, 15. I was a right miserable, moody little shit at that age (couldn't see it at the time obviously!). I would be permently in my room when I was at home which was rare as I was always out with mates/boyfriend. I had an outstanding lack of respect for what my parents did for me. I wasnt rude or naughty, I just basically lived my own life! I grew out of it when I started work at 16.

Sounds typical based on my two teenage sons...

My dbro was exactly like this. More thoughtless than rude.

How old are the younger siblings? I have a fairly big age gap (7 years) and the older one can get fed up of the younger one always wanting to play or interrupting.

We set certain times the older one is expected to be downstairs and spend time with everyone. Not too long but enough that she does interact with us.

What other things have you tried to get him downstairs more. Surely refusing to buy him something you already agreed to, must be a last resort.

Thanks, those with teens are reassuring me , I'm concerned the ps4 will make things worse. Keep him in his room more.... It will won't it, and I'm sure if that's ok or not.
When did your teens become more social?? He's so anti .

Sounds like a typical teenaged boy... My DSS has just reached this stage and we're lucky if he does more than grunt a response.
No reason not to buy the gift but I'd be insisting he comes down for family meals whether he wants to or not. That's what we do.

Does he skype his friends while playing online with them?

That is the new social norm I'm afraid.

But for your sanity, I would insist on him joining you for family meals.

I would get it if you've said you would and put limits n it if you're concerned. Maybe he could earn extra time on it for coming out of his hole and enjoying a family meal or similar?

the modern age is totally different now. if hes upstairs gaming he's likely being more soicial than you think. he could be having a conversation with 10 other people whilst they play in a team to achieve a goal.

My teenagers I think from memory spent from the ages of 13- 16 in their rooms playing games and ignoring me. they are now 19 and 22 and both at uni, they don't live here full time but i see them more than I ever did at that age, in fact sometimes I wish they would just go away and leave me alone, I keep saying you dont live here why are you annoying me when im trying to relax . Give him the PS4 it will make him happy and dont worry he's gong to be in his room anyway you cant force him to be with you. best to keep them happy

Sounds like me when I was that age. In fact, I spent so much time being sullen in my bedroom that whenever my mum grounded me, my punishment was to spend all evening in the living room with my family because she knew that I'd be happy as Larry if I was banished to my room

I don't think you shouldn't buy it, but I do think that you should insist that mealtimes are downstairs even if he makes it himself.

Might turn the router off for an hour so he does homework and don't accept rudeness. Won't stop him, but don't accept it.

Other than that, normal!