to go on this Hen night even though DH will get the Arse?

[Lertle]

One of my best friends is getting married in September and has invited me on her hen night at the end of August., it's a night out in Blackpool and we would be staying over the night in a hotel (we live about 100 miles away)

I just know DH will get the arse about it if I say I'm going, and if I don't go it will upset my friend

I don't know what to do for the best cos it's gonna piss someone off whatever i do so I can't win

I do actually want to go, I think it will be a laugh. and I hardly ever get to go out with 3 small dc

[RaeSkywalker]

Go!! I wouldn't think twice, I'd tell DH that I was going on a hen night on X date. He'd probably want me to text him to let him know I'd arrived safely but that would be it.

[Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost]

No trust issues. No maybe not, but.
There are certainly control issues.

[DerelictMyBalls]

Yanbu! Go, and have a lovely time.

[seeyounearertime]

you are a 36 year old woman, so why do you need his permission?

[whois]

You think he'll get in a mood with you becase you'll be 100 miles away in a 'dodgy' area?

That's an excuse. He just wants you at home, alone.

[WarmSound]

Erm tell him you're going, controlling arsehole! Double standards, much?!

[Lynnm63]

Go.
A friend of mine from work was told by her boyfriend at the time that she couldn't go out with friends. She didn't gave any money to go. I got my purse out of my bag, gave her £20 and told her to go. She went. He got the hump with her, didn't have the balls to call me out on it. She dumped him and married her lovely next door neighbour.

[NameChange30]

"He is never that keen on me going out"

Is he controlling about other things?
Is there anything else he doesn't like you doing?
Does he ever get angry or critical?

[Waltermittythesequel]

think he just doesn't like the idea of me being 100 miles away with a group of other women

Why?

[minionsrule]

Ok so I don't agree with him being arsey about you going but I can see his concern if that's what it really is.
I live close enough to Blackpool to have seen the horrendous sights of stag and hen do's and it sure ain't pretty. Oh and if by end of August you mean Bank Holiday weekend - well good luck
However you are a grown woman and (again if it is genuine concern from him) you should not avoid this just for that reason but maybe say you will text him over the night a few times if that makes him feel better about your safety.
Have fun - and maybe avoid the vomit on the pavements

[x2boys]

Blackpool can be a bit lairy on a night out but if you all stick together its not unsafe i live about 50 miles from blackpool so have have a few nights out there in my past its not something i would relish now but itsfine each to their own etc go and have fun .

[purplefox]

He is never that keen on me going out, although he would never stop me I just get a vibe he doesn't like it much

Alarm bells here. Why?

[expatinscotland]

Oh, fuck him off. I wouldn't give it a second thought. Rich of him to get the arse when he goes out every weekend.

[memyselfandaye]

Why why why do you put up with this shit?

I just don't get it, he's controlling you, why is that ok?

He doesn't like you going out, so do you ever go anywhere without him?

[plominoagain]

Go . Even more so if he's going to get the arse . I doubt if the scenario was reversed , that he'd have even thought about your reaction . You'd simply have been told he was going , and that was that .

What does he think is going to happen ffs ? You might discover a life without him ? Sounds like no bad thing to me .

[LyndaNotLinda]

Of course you should go. I'm a bit worried that you're asking if that's unreasonable :(

[PuppyMonkey]

He will get the arse if you go. You will get the arse if you don't go. Why is his arse more important than yours? Iyswim

[nicenewdusters]

Oh yes, the "vibe".

Doesn't have the guts to actually say I just don't want you to go, which would be controlling and childish. So just makes you feel awkward and uncomfortable about it.

Go, you don't need a permission slip from him. If he gets "the arse" tell him to pull his head out of it. Don't tolerate this bullshit.

[oldlaundbooth]

'Yet he goes out most weekends as he is a session musician (it's a second job) so he has gigs. But his argument is that he gets paid for them which is a fair point '

I've a mate who has a DH like this. Plays nearly every weekend and most weeknights.

You need to become a session musician OP.

[MrsSpecter]

Him getting the hump is his problem. You dont have to make it yours. Go, have a ball. Let him sit at home with a bake on him if he wants, he'll only be ruining his own night. You'll be in blackpool singing karaoke

[Goingtobeawesome]

How do so many lovely women get sucked in to marriage with seemingly nice guys who then get all controlling.

Go, and have far too good a time that you have to go out again ...

[kiki22]

I told dp early on being arsy about me going out with my friends is a total deal breaker for me.

Go have fun don't let him ruin it

[StillStayingClassySanDiego]

Go!

Yes Blackpool is a shit hole sorry to residents but it is but fabulous fun when with friends.

[scarlets]

Don't put up with this, OP.