To wish DH wouldn't do this...

[Gatehouse77]

General mornings/breakfast go like this. I get up, wake kids, do packed lunches then sit down in the living room (open plan-ish) with a cup of tea to read news, mumsnet, etc. DH has usually gone to work.

I choose to sit away from everyone else because I get irrationally irritated by the noise of them eating. Often they're wearing headphones so are unaware of the nose they make and it means there's no other noise to soak it up - radio, chatter, etc.

I am the one with the problem. I know that and I accept that.

When DH is around he will sometimes coma and sit beside me to have his breakfast. Because of my issues I choose to get up and move away so as not be wound up by something soooo trivial first thing. I don't have a problem doing this, I am not angry, not stomping around just calmly get up and move.

Every fucking time DH will either strop about it or, after I have moved, offer to move away. THIS is what is causing the rage in me. Why can't he just carry on? Its not his fault I have this issue and I'm trying not to make it his problem. Why can't he just accept that I willingly remove myself? Why am I left feeling like somehow my choices mean he can't do what he wants to do? Even though I am not getting him to move, asking anything of him or being a sulky sue about it.

So, just now I had a controlled blow up and asked why does he do this. He's now stopped off to eat his breakfast in the playroom/conservatory stating that I'm being unreasonable because he only wants to do right by me and it's an expression of his love and care. Yet, it's this very issue that can put me in a mood first thing NOT that I have to move away.

Am I missing something here?

Fucking hell there are some needy people on this thread.

Well there are some fucking rude people too.

It's only breakfast because there's no other noise. Lunch, supper, etc. there's chatting, the oven, and the general noise of cutlery and crockery. And on some occasions we eat in front of the TV.

So put the radio or TV in then.

Do you all eat breakfast in complete silence

OP's post
In regard to the comment about the kids being plugged in and social skills it's a compromise we made about breakfast only in recent times. Everyone is downstairs at different times due to showers, start times, etc. We don't allow gadgets at lunch if we're eating together and it's a definite no at supper. Eating around the table and having conversation is a regular evening meal thing (can't think of the right word!).

Goblin
So your family doesn't eat meals together round a table? Your partner chooses to sit with you and you move away.

They do sit around a table together for other meals. It's just breakfast that's the issue.

I suffer from this too... I get a rage/irrational feeling inside me that makes me want to peel my skin off or scrape the eyeballs out of the person who is eating. It is dreadful. And in turn I am paranoid about other people having it also so I will not eat unless there is significant background noise. You are not alone! And YANBU

My dh puts fruit gums in the fridge and when he eats them the sound makes me feel so angry I could smash the whole fucking house up. Am I ok?!

Oh my goodness. Are you me? yanbu he is.

Fruit gums in the fridge? What are his teeth like?

Reading this is like reading something I have written myself. I work from home and DH does too the odd day here and there and to 'be nice' comes and eats his breakfast and/or lunch with me. I can't bear it. Rationally, I know he wants to spend time with me, but the irrational part of me can't hear anything except for chewing. Rather than get up and walk away I tend to introduce some background noise like the TV or some music to cover the sound a bit.

Gandalf they're ok now but I'm thinking in 10 years time he might not be so lucky.

As far as keeping his teeth in tact it's not the fruit gums he has to worry about if he carries on winding me up with the noisy eating 😂

OMG YANBU! I could quite happily stab a noisy eater (unless they are a child and then it's touch and go). In fact I've not invited some of DCs friends over again after enduring their eating habits. The noise was horrendous. Do parents actually bother to tell their children to eat with their mouths shut these days?! One child is particularly bad, then I had a meal out with his mother. Urgh, it was awful. Then recently my friend came up to me in the playground with chewing gum, chewing gum with her mouth wide open. I could have screamed "shut the fuck up and close your mouth ffs." She's done it since then, it's hard to avoid her though.

Your DH is being an arse. It is a recognised thing and it seems he is just doing it deliberately because he wants to sit there, never mind your feelings. Tell him to sod off, you are eating in peace and non crunchy quiet.

How many years has this been going on??

• GoblinLittleOwl Tue 31-May-16 11:02:34 So your family doesn't eat meals together round a table? Your partner chooses to sit with you and you move away. Do good manners play any part in your life? Colchestergal Tue 31-May-16 11:04:55 You sound unreasonable and rude. He probably wants to spend five minutes connecting with you. Eating away from your family is not setting a good example for table manners either imo.*

You would both benefit from reading the whole thread, especially the posts where she describes how differently breakfast works in their household.

Thank you to those who understand the noise issue and its affects, and to those who accept it even if they don't 'get it'.

Today has thrown some shit at the fan for us in other, far more important, areas and we need to deal with them as they are more pressing and of greater impact right now.

We will discuss it again and I want to assure people that this is not a huge factor in our lives affecting any other area of our relationship.

So I am bowing out gracefully and with appreciation to those that responded. Adieu!

Lol at The Cumberbatch Hamlet

Bib that lady will never know about her close brush with death that day!