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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it's unfair to blame the mother of child hurt by gorilla?

497 replies

pinkladyapple · 30/05/2016 22:02

Yes if she was holding his hand maybe he wouldn't have ended up in the enclosure. But he could have gone over/through the fence in a split second. And the zoo should have fencing which makes this impossible, surely?

The parents aren't being prosecuted for negligence and yet the Internet seem angry at the mother.

But then the people who think that also seem to think a tranquilliser works instantly, and the gorilla wouldn't react to the pain or impact of the dart.

It's sad and terrible though. For everyone.

OP posts:
flippinada · 31/05/2016 11:36

Yanbu.

It's awful that the gorilla was shot and I have my own thouights about zoos, but that's by the by.

Sad events like these are the worst for bringing out all the keyboard warriors and perfect parents.

mummytohpm · 31/05/2016 11:39

I think it is partly the parents fault.

The boy didn't just fall through a gap in a fence he scaled a small wall, climbed through bushes etc.

I'm not saying that 4yos can't get away in seconds obviously they can and it often does happen and it's not down to neglectful parenting.

However - personally in this situation - in a zoo where there are thousands of people - I would not let a 4yo out of night sight and to be honest I would be totally uncomfortable without them holding my hand. Not through fear of them falling into an enclosure - through fear of them getting lost and scared. Or taken by someone else.

I do think the parents have been irresponsible.

I do also think that maybe the barriers should have been slightly better. But like others have said the barriers are there to keep the animals in, not humans out.

The parents should have made clear that the boy shouldn't have been scaling ANY fences. Regardless of whether it was a gorilla enclosure or a harmless animal (yes you could argue that no animal is harmless but that's another thread).

I don't think it's neglect but I don't think they have acted responsibly.

I do feel sorry for the gorilla. It only did what comes naturally to it.

I don't think any of us can say what it was going to do or whether it intended to hurt the boy because at the end of the day it's an animal and we can never be sure.

I'm sorry it died, but I would have been sorry if the boy died too.

I'd like to think there was a way around it but I'm not sure that there was.

Hopefully this incident will prevent things like this happening in future.

tiggytape · 31/05/2016 11:42

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ollieplimsoles · 31/05/2016 11:42

Where have I ever said I'm a perfect parent?

I never said that,

I just said that my four year old wouldn't fall into a gorilla enclosure whilst under my care...

TheoriginalLEM · 31/05/2016 11:44

who on this thread can honestly say that they haven't lost sight of their child?? u know i have. The zoo is totally responsible.

We really need to ask ourselves why we think its ok to gawp at these creatures like a freak show.....yes i know there are conservation projects and i have gawped myself - who wouldn't, these animals are magnificent but theres always that thought at the back of my mind.

parmalilac · 31/05/2016 11:46

Yes, the parents were negligent. Look at the situation, a small fence/wall in front of a sheer drop down a rock face to the water below, where large wild animals are living. I would think that's a time for parents to be extra vigilant, and not the time for eating/smoking/taking selfies or whatever else would distract from your own offsprings' safety.

JacquesHammer · 31/05/2016 11:54

It is unfair to blame the MOTHER. The parents have to accept some culpability.

As has the child (really - a 4 year old doesn't realise climbing in to see the animals is wrong?!)

As has the zoo.

It is possible for all of them to have some blame - they're not mutually exclusive

DixieNormas · 31/05/2016 11:59

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

monkeywithacowface · 31/05/2016 12:03

Bad things happen to children with good parents too. I imagine thousands truelly of fuckwit, negligent parents have visited that zoo but still went home without their kids managing to fall into the gorilla enclosure.

Thinking you're a good parent because your kid hasn't fallen into the hands of a wild animal sounds a bit dense tbh Ollie

DixieNormas · 31/05/2016 12:10

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I8toys · 31/05/2016 12:13

Parents to blame. They knew he wanted to get down there and he did an army assault course, by the sounds of it, to get in. If it had happened in the past or there were close calls before then I would say zoo.

TheFairyCaravan · 31/05/2016 12:17

The perfect parent brigade are still out in force this morning I see! Hmm

The amount of bullshit that's being said is unbelievable. Witnesses have said the little boy crawled through a hole in a fence and disappeared in to the hedge before they could grab him. Yet people are saying he "scaled a wall"! Hmm

Tomorrow morning I fully expect the story to be he grabbed a rope and went swinging through pretending he was Tarzan!

TheFairyCaravan · 31/05/2016 12:20

he did an army assault course, by the sounds of it, to get in

You what now? FFS talk about exaggeration!

I8toys · 31/05/2016 12:22

Tough mudder then? I can't be arsed tbh.

ollieplimsoles · 31/05/2016 12:25

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tiggytape · 31/05/2016 12:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NickiFury · 31/05/2016 12:29

I read a witness account from someone stood near the family that said the mother was very hands on and aware of her children and it all happened rapidly before she could stop it.

I also read another who said the mother was unaware and neglectful but that witness also said that the gorilla was being gentle and harmless and denied seeing him dragging the child around in the water, she said it didn't happen.

I am leaning very much towards the first account given the unbelievably weird responses from a few of the "animal lovers" on this thread who, like the second witness seem to have created this whole sentimental sob fest narrative that didn't actually happen.

TheFairyCaravan · 31/05/2016 12:29

Tough mudder then? I can't be arsed tbh.

No! A hole in a fucking fence and some bushes.

shazzarooney999 · 31/05/2016 12:36

For those saying oh have you ever taken your eyes off a child for a second and they have gone? look at it this way, would you take your eyes off your child whilst crossing a road???

Highsteaks · 31/05/2016 12:36

I kept an eye on him at transport museums of course but only because they get crowded and I didn't want to lose him.

Yes, exactly. Because if he had made noises about driving a tank, then there is nothing to say he wouldnt have run off to go and look for a tank,and the if you weren't keeping an eye on him he would be lost. The fact that he wouldnt actually be able to fire up a tank and run everyone over is irrelevant.

bottleofbeer · 31/05/2016 12:41

Ex keeper here.

Any enclosure of a potentially dangerous animal (and I mean it when I say "potentially") has to be so secure that the only way to get in is with the key.

Lions which are a lot less dangerous than tigers had a twenty foot high fence with three foot overhangs, despite the fact they are highly unlikely to even try and scale it. We didn't have tigers because we couldn't provide sufficient safety barriers.

Chimps are much more dangerous than gorillas, they were behind specially toughened glass. If anyone had got into an enclosure it would have been the zoo's failing. Sorry if you don't like that but it's true. Enclosures are constantly being reviewed.

VioletVaccine · 31/05/2016 12:44

When you have a momentary lapse of awareness for your where your child is, you do blame yourself, and torture yourself in hindsight.

I can't imagine any mum saying, "Tesco are to blame, they shouldn't have made the toy section in eye view", or, "I lost my 4yo DS for 5 awful minutes in the park today... AIBU to blame my local Council, for making the park so tempting to him?"

But both those scenarios don't constitute an immediate threat to life.

But, if the Park was deemed a severe safety risk to children- but hadn't yet been deconstructed- it would be the obligation of the manager to make it totally inaccessible, because with the best will in the world- if that child is determined to go on the death-trap climbing frame, they will find a way.

If the child then escapes you, falls and dies, is it your fault for not keeping closer eye on your child, or the council's fault for not making it inaccessible to them in the first place?

I'd say a combination of both- it needed negligence on both ends to occur in the first place.

tiggytape · 31/05/2016 12:45

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DollyTwat · 31/05/2016 12:47

If a zoo keeps wild animals so dangerous to humans that they know they'd have to shoot it if a child got in the enclosure, then they have to make sure a child cannot get in.

If I take my child to somewhere aimed at children, where no accidents have happened for nearly 40 years, then I would expect it to be safe for my child

The zoo is 100% to blame

MrsGW · 31/05/2016 12:49

YABU