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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think it's unfair to blame the mother of child hurt by gorilla?

497 replies

pinkladyapple · 30/05/2016 22:02

Yes if she was holding his hand maybe he wouldn't have ended up in the enclosure. But he could have gone over/through the fence in a split second. And the zoo should have fencing which makes this impossible, surely?

The parents aren't being prosecuted for negligence and yet the Internet seem angry at the mother.

But then the people who think that also seem to think a tranquilliser works instantly, and the gorilla wouldn't react to the pain or impact of the dart.

It's sad and terrible though. For everyone.

OP posts:
WhereTheFuckIsMyFuckingCoat · 31/05/2016 09:24

Nice picture! Smile

To be fair though, there are a couple of differences.

Giraffes aren't known for aggression or having enough strength to rip a human child apart in moments.

That's flat ground, and if your ds did climb in, it would be far easier for him to be retrieved than it was to retrieve the boy from the gorilla enclosure.

It's also perfectly obvious that that 'enclosure' is accessible to pretty much anyone, unlike the 'secure' enclosure of the gorilla.

Also, in fairness, how far were you from him while taking that picture. That's something I couldn't chance with my four year old, because if he chose to scale that fence to feed the giraffes which he might well do he could do it in about 20 seconds and if I wasn't in grabbing distance, my recent health and mobility issues mean that he'd be most of the way to the first giraffe before id gotten to, never mind over the fence.

Yoksha · 31/05/2016 09:25

Zoo responsible. Enclosures should always be risk assessed from every possibility! Both parents responsible for child. Not just mum. Anybody who says parents at fault have clearly never experienced the split second you are in control of a child & then they've disappeared?

Whilst discussing this with my youngest Dd, 33yrs old. We got into a discussion about the parents. She was very condemnatory against the parents. I said that it's not as simple as she'd just espoused. I reminded her of 2 occasions in her life when a split second passing caused her distress. She dialled her judgement back a bit.

Hockeydude · 31/05/2016 09:31

I don't think the parent is a shit parent necessarily but I do think that especially when you have multiple little children, particularly bolters, that reins should be advocated and used. You don't see that many people using reins but I always did, I could not have managed without them. I have a photo of my ds in a zoo in reins. I would avoid going anywhere I couldn't control my dc on my own when they were both tiny (small age gap). It's different if you have just one that you can chase after constantly but having two or more - you cannot chase in two different directions and you need reins or some method of keeping the dc out of the road/not lost etc.

DeltaSunrise · 31/05/2016 09:35

That was just an example of one enclosure that I had a picture of to hand, like I said, only 2 enclosures I can think of off the top of my head are completely inaccessible.

The lion enclosure always freaks me out a bit as the wall is low and there's only a small pool of water and a few bushes between the lions and the wall so I make sure I have the hands of my children when we are looking at them.

In the photo, dp is to the left of him just outside the photo which I cropped. The drop is a big one, you wouldn't just be able to lean over and retrieve anything.

That's something I couldn't chance with my 4 year old

And you're aware of this so I assume make sure he's within eyesight/grabbing distance at all times?

You still couldn't blame the zoo for your child getting into the enclosures if he ever did because he's your responsibility and its your job to supervise him properly. Just as its my job to supervise mine and it was this parents job to supervise theirs.

DeltaSunrise · 31/05/2016 09:37

Crappy typos and punctuation there. Long day (not uk)

WhereTheFuckIsMyFuckingCoat · 31/05/2016 09:41

Don't worry about it, I'm not uk either and can't wait for the dcs to get to sleep so I can.

Sorry for the misunderstanding - the picture doesn't show a drop, and it looks like the giraffes are on the same level, just on the other side of the fence.

Any child can bolt in a split second, so I still maintain that as zoos have a duty of care to their animals, and also their paying customers, that they should ensure that enclosures of dangerous (if not all, really) animals are completely inaccessible to all but staff. And risk assessments and security checks carried out daily.

Oly5 · 31/05/2016 09:42

I agree OP. The zoo should t have had a gap a child could get through.
Also, it is awful the animal was shot but having seen the video, the terrified child was dragged through water and could have drowned, let alone anything else.
If the child had been mauled to death, ppl would be saying the gorilla should have been shot

EvansOvalPies · 31/05/2016 10:20

How bloody ironic that those outraged at the shooting of the gorilla will be typing whilst tucking into their meat based dinner

With respect, EmilyBronte'sCorset - I imagine not many people will be tucking into an endangered gorilla-based dinner. Very silly comparison.

EvansOvalPies · 31/05/2016 10:28

eg - David Attenborough is, I think we would all agree, one of the world experts on endangered species, and there is not much he doesn't know about most species of living creature. But he eats meat (raised for purpose)

lifesalongsong · 31/05/2016 10:52

Oh dear, I see that the father's crminal record is now being reported by our friends at the DM, I think they are really going to regret deciding on a zoo trip that day

GoblinLittleOwl · 31/05/2016 10:56

Apparently he scaled a three foot barrier, and that isn't done in a second.
It certainly wasn't the gorilla's fault, who shouldn't have been there anyway.

Sleepyjean70 · 31/05/2016 11:02

I thought he crawled through it.

Highsteaks · 31/05/2016 11:04

If your kid was going on and on about wanting to get in with the
gorilla then, while you might never think he actually could do so, surely you would be extra vigilant in case he was going to leg it somewhere to try and get in, and get them get lost? After all the child wouldn't know that he couldn't get in there, and you wouldn't want them climbing fences, running round the other side of the enclosure etc in an attempt to get in.

FuzzyWizard · 31/05/2016 11:04

No. The barrier had a gap that he was able to crawl through at low level out of most people's eye line. Unfortunately there were also brushes there that obscured him from his parents view. Other members of the public saw him but weren't able to grab hold of him before he went over the edge. Had he tried to go over the fence he would have been seen much more easily and most likely grabbed by either a parent or another guest.

FuzzyWizard · 31/05/2016 11:05

X posts

Highsteaks · 31/05/2016 11:08

And yes, the mother is a twat with her response - if you cant say anything About the demise of the gorilla for legal reasons the don't say anything t all. Certainly don't go on about God protecting him when that was your job.

Dont know what the dads criminal record has to do with anything, and im sure its only a matter of time before the DM dig up loads on the family and tbe thinly veiled racism starts.

amicissimma · 31/05/2016 11:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Thefitfatty · 31/05/2016 11:14

Of course the woman is going to thank God. She's American from Ohio, and African American as well, they are (usually) a highly religious community. There's nothing wrong with her thanking God, and I find it odd (and this is me speaking as an atheist) that people think it's wrong? Confused

NickiFury · 31/05/2016 11:17

Many more people in the U.S believe much more strongly in God than we might and as such are often convinced he is a constantly hovering presence micro managing their individual lives ably assisted by Little Baby Jesus. I think it's a cultural thing that she'd refer to God and it wouldn't raise the eyebrows there that it does for us.

NickiFury · 31/05/2016 11:17

Cross post thefit. Agree.

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 31/05/2016 11:18

its all vile. and all over the DM with no fewer that 4 articles. Poor everyone involved frankly.

lets all slag off the Japanese parents instead, they can have it with both barrels !!!
www.theguardian.com/world/2016/may/31/hunt-japanese-boy-yamato-tanooka-forest-punishment-parents-critcised

cansu · 31/05/2016 11:18

What a load of crap! No one in their right mind would expect the fences in a zoo to be so easily accessible. Children get list in dept stores, in playgrounds, basically anywhere. Anyone remember David Cameron losing his ds in a pub car park once? She lost sight of her four year old for a few mins. The worse that should have happened is a few mins frantic searching to find him looking at an exhibit somewhere. The zoo needs to do some serious risk assessing of the enclosures. They are 100 per cent at fault here.

Highsteaks · 31/05/2016 11:19

Like i said, if you can't mention the gorilla at this point, say nothing.

Thefitfatty · 31/05/2016 11:22

lets all slag off the Japanese parents instead, they can have it with both barrels !!!

Agreed! Now THAT is negligence (if not outright murder, time will tell).

Puzzledandpissedoff · 31/05/2016 11:35

amicissimma I was thinking of Marriot Edgar's "The Lion and Albert" myself Grin

www.sheerpoetry.co.uk/junior/junior-poetry-library/in-the-classroom-part-one/the-lion-and-albert