To ask how you afford private school fees

[Elephantslovetofly]

We have a young DD, and although it's a while away yet we are thinking about school. The area we live in does not have a good local school, and we are considering an independent school for her

Disclaimer - I went to a private school and for what it's worth had a great education. I enjoyed being there and did well in exams. I believe my parents decided to send me there also because of a lack of a good local state school. I might have done fine at a state school, but will never know I guess

We are probably 45 min drive from the school I went to - further than is ideal. DH doesn't mind driving her there if we decide to send her there though (if she is fortunate enough to get a place)

The issue is whether we can afford it. The fees are about £9k per year for junior and £12k for senior. Assuming we therefore need to find £1k per month for fees

My cheeky question is this - if you have a child at private school, what does your household earn and how difficult is it to find the money each month to pay the fees? Our income is about £60k, and at the moment I don't think we can do it (along with our other current expenses). Wages might go up a bit before we would need to start paying, but if this is always going to be a pipe dream i'd rather get over it now

I know we could move closer to a good state school, but am exploring my options at this stage. Don't really want to move, as we have a good house here and are settled

Thanks for reading

I'd suggest sitting down with the MSE budget planner and working it out- no one else can say whether you can afford it as there are so many other factors.

Fwiw I don't think 45 mins is crazy. Loads of kids travel that far to our school. Just a Q of whether it's doable in your circs.

I think deep down they'd love their child to go to a private school but just can't afford it.

We could afford it. We choose not to on principle.

user you have made me howl with laughter !
Brilliant ! so a parents choir plus fizz is going to get your DC the grades they need It obviously makes all the difference.

My DC went to our village school, we bought a lovely house to get into it.
Both parents committed to looking after and being with DC after school.
At KS2 half the year group left to go private- leaving our DC in classes of 15-18.
At sixth form the faces of the " private only" parents were a picture !
Private guarantees one thing- you will spend a lot of money !

I only have 1 DD and she is in private prep. I'm a single parent on income approx £105,000 but have low mortgage due to inheritance and DD has some of her fees paid for her by money left by my grandmother (although she was at this school before my DGM passed away).

Fees are approx £9k per year but also need to add on to that all trips and extra-curricular activities as well as equipment such as hockey sticks and tennis rackets etc. DD's school does have wrap around childcare from 7:30 until 6pm and will help with homework at the late prep after school and fees also include lunch. Even with that it really is worth while factoring in the extras when deciding if you can afford it or not.

DDs school is great, she loves it there. She gets a wonderful education in reasonably small class sizes and the school has great facilities, from art to sports to music. The extra-curricular activities are wide ranging and the school has excellent comenius links with schools from other countries. I'm sure there are many excellent state schools which can do some, or all, of this but not where we live. I have made the right decision for my child and would sacrifice a lot of things before moving her.

The taxpayer pays for our school fees.

First by a gov scheme and then the amount we are due to pay is covered by our tax credits.

Bitemy I'm glad you said that I was just about to say I didn't know whether to laugh or cry at user's post. My parents (esp my Dad) is exactly like that and would adore being part of a parents choir sipping champagne but DH and I would rather stick pins in our eyes. That doesn't mean we won't help our DD be the best she can and wants to be.

"I think deep down they'd love their child to go to a private school but just can't afford it"

Some of us recognise there is a conflict between wanting a great education for our children, and paying into and hence perpetuating a deeply unfair system that disadvantages most kids and creates an unfair playing field.

The saddest thing about the whole sorry situation is that those children who are given most (because kids at private schools have at least double the spend on their education as kids in the state sector) tend overwhelmingly to be those children who are already doubly advantaged with highly supportive and educated parents, and often academic, sporting and/or musical ability.

It really is hideously unfair on children. The least parents who are paying to perpetuate this unfairness can do is acknowledge that the system is morally indefensible and socially divisive and harmful, rather than scoffing at those parents whose children are disadvantaged by it and have the temerity to express their anger about it.

perhaps teachers who went to RG universities who share your ethical, moral and political values and perhaps have your accent

The school where I have had the greatest number of fellow Oxbridge graduate colleagues (never mind RG) was in a very, very rough part of south-east London serving one of the largest council estates in Europe. The pupils were positively blasé about it and formed unofficial factions on boat race weekend.

We've had 3 through private schools, paid for by earning quite a lot plus some help from a trust fund.

OP, you could compromise and do state primary followed by private secondary. IME there are all sorts of income levels, house sizes and types of people at private schools, so don't worry about having a smaller house, nobody will care.

Also, maybe there's somewhere nearer than your old school? It sounds as if you've got time to make a decision though. And an awful lot could change in that time, local schools could improve.

minifingerz yes you are right of course. But the issue isn't the "elite" who pay but the fact that the majority is expected in the name of equality one size fits all, massive comps with mediocre science and mfl offfers to put up and shut up because it's inappropriate to properly differentiate or accept that young human beings have individual and genuinely independent needs.

Another depressing thought: most parents with children at private school probably voted Tory - the party who are systematically destroying the morale of teachers in the state sector and creating the mother of all recruitment crises in secondary.

Maybe if more influential, professional and wealthy parents had a vested interest in making state education work we wouldn't have the problems we have now. :-(

minifingerz I think you need to go back to the question and reflect about what it asked.

You are not answering the question.

We could afford private school fees as DH has a good job. His company paid whilst we were overseas but when we returned to the UK we liked the look of our local comp and as the kids were hard working and bright we sent them there. All four are now at uni and we have put the cash we 'saved'. into their ISAs etc . I'm happy to admit we would have moved them to a private school if they had needed or wanted it.

We don't give a shit about 'accents' and quaffing champagne with other parents. In fact, that type of crap is one reason we are happy that our kids went to the local school. 😂😂😂

minifingerz I read your poignant posts on another thread re your children absorbing a pretty bankrupt culture of their peers rather than yours, and your sadness at you reading Tolstoy at your daughters age and her now watching TOWIE.

At the risk of being the proverbial dog with a bone, I'd be interested in you confirming that you would not send them privately were it an option.

I have two in a selective independent in the midlands and they have been there since age 4. We are both high earners and that is how we can afford it. Certainly no help from parents/inheritance here. However, lots of our friends are getting help with school fees from their parents, particularly those friends with multiple DCs. It's very common.

The vast majority of parents at my DC's school are doctors (generally at consultant level with private practices supplementing their NHS salaries) or dentists with a smattering of lawyers and a few business owners. Most have two working parents, hence a higher joint income.

I would have struggled to do it on 60k. The fee increase every year is between 5 and 8 percent. Plus there are lots of extras to pay for.

The reality is though that it entirely depends on your other outgo gins. Clearly if you have no mortgage then its far more affordable than if you are mortgaged for £500k.

Oh and we live 45-45 minutes from the DCs school. It's only 9 miles away but the traffic into the city extends the journey. Its not a problem, although when the DC were in reception they'd quite often be fast asleep by the time we got home.

Beau - you are talking shite.

Teachers acknowledge that children have different learning needs, and try to differentiate under the fucking impossible conditions many are working in. But classes are simply too big, there are too many teacher vacancies, too many seriously disadvantaged children clumped together in the most challenged schools, and not enough stability or time for teachers to do the job in the right way.

So yes - teachers need to supported to differentiate. But you don't need to create a system of social and educational apartheid to do so by separating them (let's face it - mostly by social class) into different schools.

An extraordinarily well educated post minifingerz. Precisely why my dc left the state system. Bitterness, poor arguments and a determination to drag down to the lowest common denominator.

I assume still you don't understand the op's question, it was about the economic factors of private education, not the philosophical ones.

Minifingerz: mostly be social class / money? Totally by social class / money.

The idea that state schools don't 'differentiate' is ludicrous and highly offensive. What does that even mean? What it implies is that we should as a society be differentiating on the basis of class / money (which is the differentiation that private schools offer). Apart from this particular differentiation, state schools offer all other types of differentiation.

I think that once you get above the equivalent of breadline plus fees, it's less about income, and more about how much of a priority it is. Few, if any, people would think it important enough to live in poverty for, and at the other end it doesn't need to be a priority if the only sacrifice is a second yacht.

The vast majority are in the middle though, and personal situations and opinions dictate whether the cost is worth it.

For our situation, dd's school is a very high priority. I don't pay anything now, but regardless of what income increase I may get, our standard of living won't improve because her bursary would decrease accordingly. And it's definitely worth it for us. For a different child, or with suitable state education, it might not be worth the sacrifice.

Nice to see the usual hypocritical banging on about the inequality of private school whilst deliberately ignoring the fact a vastly larger group get their dc a superior state education because of their own privileged circumstances, at the direct expense of the less privileged.

"interested in you confirming that you would not send them privately were it an option"

The comp my two ds's go to is that rare beast: it represents the full range of academic ability and social class. Many of the children come from the some of the roughest estates in SE London. Others are playing the harp at grade 8 and have parents working in senior media jobs. There are swathes of Jemimas, Corianders and Orlandos, as well as the K'Shawns, Princesses, Kelishas and Shavontes. My children have roundly and enthusiastically rejected their middle class cultural heritage, but they still have the option of a good education and a culturally broad peer group at their state school, should they choose to access it.

We should be able to afford it when the time comes (ds is only 7mo old) because we'll be mortgage free by then.

Beau: "Bitterness, poor arguments and a determination to drag down to the lowest common denominator."

This is an example of a poor argument. You have not addressed any of the valid points minifingerz raises. That is bitterness, in my book. You could argue against what she says and convince us (or not) but instead you choose offensive arguments such as 'dragging everyone down to the lowest denominator". On what do you base this extraordinary argument may I ask?

Nice to see the usual hypocritical banging on about the inequality of private school whilst deliberately ignoring the fact a vastly larger group get their dc a superior state education because of their own privileged circumstances, at the direct expense of the less privileged.

This is very true. It doesn't make me think private education is any less abhorrent.

I think parents wringing their hands over where to buy in order to get into a superior state schools is bollocks too.

I don't need to address the arguments of somebody so ill educated that they can only descend into could language as an insult.

I could make further observations but would not sink so low.