To ask how you afford private school fees

[Elephantslovetofly]

We have a young DD, and although it's a while away yet we are thinking about school. The area we live in does not have a good local school, and we are considering an independent school for her

Disclaimer - I went to a private school and for what it's worth had a great education. I enjoyed being there and did well in exams. I believe my parents decided to send me there also because of a lack of a good local state school. I might have done fine at a state school, but will never know I guess

We are probably 45 min drive from the school I went to - further than is ideal. DH doesn't mind driving her there if we decide to send her there though (if she is fortunate enough to get a place)

The issue is whether we can afford it. The fees are about £9k per year for junior and £12k for senior. Assuming we therefore need to find £1k per month for fees

My cheeky question is this - if you have a child at private school, what does your household earn and how difficult is it to find the money each month to pay the fees? Our income is about £60k, and at the moment I don't think we can do it (along with our other current expenses). Wages might go up a bit before we would need to start paying, but if this is always going to be a pipe dream i'd rather get over it now

I know we could move closer to a good state school, but am exploring my options at this stage. Don't really want to move, as we have a good house here and are settled

Thanks for reading

Bella we have thought about the lincolnshire ones - I think we're currently a bit far away from the nearest one though, sadly. We know of 2 people who have attended this school, who report that it is a good school so it's a shame! Probably worth waiting to see what her academic potential is before we consider moving towards the grammar schools I suppose

"The very fact that Bertrand never discloses what type of school educated her"

I donMt think I've ever been asked! Oh, apart from by a long gone poster I considered to be a somewhat unhinged fantasist that I felt no desire to respond to.

Why do you want to know?

Elephants, provided it is feasible for you for work if I were in your shoes I would move towards or into Lincolnshire. I know a few families who have made this move and have not looked back. Some have put their children into preps like Grantham prep where the majority go on to the Grammars, there is another one in Newark that does the same but can't remember the name, others opt for state primaries where they run an 11 plus club as an extra curricular. You can buy the practise papers in any bookshop and are the same my DS had for his scholarship.

Comparing the children I know in the Grammars with my own DS the education is of an equivalent, sometimes better. The only thing my DS has is smaller class sizes but the school is non selective and the children in the Grammar are by and large pretty studious and self motivated.

The majority of schools in both sectors have no issues with knife crime.

Any sensible parent would do whatever they could to avoid a school that did have such a problem.

No one ever gained anything from being in violent environments.

The fact that knife crime is even being discussed is utterly ridiculous.

The reason being it is important to acknowledge , that you might have benefitted from a education system that you vehemently oppose.

Thus accepting that a certain type school may have been the reason you acquired skills that allow you to articulate your anti selective school argument.

This is similar to a context where you might expect a Government Minister to have some experience of State Education , whether themselves or via their children.

Bella thank you that's really helpful. I will look into more of the grammar schools in Lincolnshire

Am I right in thinking that you are not midlands based....?

Well, I didn't.

And even if I had, the situation 40 years ago was so very different that there is no comparison. Hell, the situation 20 years ago was so very different that there is no comparison.

And even if I had, it would not have been my choice, and it is possible to see that something that happened in one's own childhood was wrong with this hindsight of adult experience. Even if I had, it would be entirely OK for me to campaign against a system that I know to be inequitable.

But anyway, I didn't.

Thank You ...

bert I don't think it's ridiculous if you know for a fact that your local school experiences problems with knife crimes.

You avoid it like the plague. Surely?

The idea that you should be forced to send your DC there, or accept these problems as part and parcel of an otherwise 'good' school, now that is ridiculous.

"bert I don't think it's ridiculous if you know for a fact that your local school experiences problems with knife crimes.

You avoid it like the plague. Surely?"

Of course. But "hard cases make bad law". As I'm sure user would tell us.

Oh, sorry, I forgot. Mumsnetters all live huddled together in the catchment areas of the 3 worst schools in the country, forcing them to go private.

With a few honorable exceptions, of course, who cheerfully say they would go private wherever they lived.

Elephants, no I am not Midlands based, we are Home Counties but I know a few families who have made the move to Lincs as the train connections to London are great from Grantham, house prices are cheaper and of course the Grammar Schools. We thought about it ourselves but my DH travels a lot for work and its a fair trek to Heathrow for transatlantic flights which he takes around once a month. We looked at Grantham Prep and the Head made no bones about the fact that most parents wanted the Grammars and from memory the fees were around £2k a term. There were a few state schools that had a good success rate and did an 11 plus club and the children could sit the exam at that school making it less daunting. These tended to be North of Grantham putting you in the catchment for Sleaford Grammar as well if you prefer co-ed.

It was nearly 10 years ago now, but my ds school was nothing unusual in the knife crime, muggings, physical attacks that exist in schools where we live.
Most people with any sense do their best to avoid them but unfortunately it isn't always possible.
It isn't ridiculous to talk about if it is something you have experienced and you are making a point of why you wouldn't use a local state school unless you really had no alternative.

I have said this so many times but there is no way my dd will step foot in a local secondary school and if I had my time over again would have H.ed the older two. I only wish I'd known it was possible back then.

I find it very sad that there is such a lack of consistency in management of secondary schools and that the application system is so unfair for many.

I'm not "forced" to go private. I choose to. Mediocrity is bad enough for me.

What's an RG university?

I think just about every point had been covered here. My main things are:

1. think about friendships nearby
2. factor in costs for school trips, uniforms etc
3. what defines a'good' school? Our local school is outstanding in Ofsted terms. It gets the results, but at what expense? Teachers are stressed to the hilt, and children don't necessarily get the rounded wholesome curriculum, but rather focus on the subjects that will be tested.

"I'm not "forced" to go private. I choose to. Mediocrity is bad enough for me."

See? You just can't resist an anti state school/anti state school parent dig, can you?

No one is forcing you to participate in thread that started out as pro-private, BR.

I avoid state schools both as a parent and a teacher.

Millimat,

RG stands for Russell Group. Its members are the large, traditional, research-heavy universities.

Bert

This is the point though, maybe the schools in GinandJag area are poor, maybe not up to their standard.
How is that a dig?
I wouldn't use them in our area neither.
If we lived somewhere else I might, but don't really like the systems of state schools.

80Kgirl I'm not "forced" to go private. I choose to. Mediocrity is bad enough for me.

Agree, though perhaps mediocrity wasn't the best choice of word. Someone up thread said they didn't want the best education, just good enough. Nothing wrong with that, but I don't feel the same. After things I see as necessities are paid for education is my next priority for all and any money I have left: I would only spend money on things that were neither necessities nor education if I'd reached the point where I thought my children were getting the best available education and more money wouldn't help.

[What counts as a necessity is socially constructed of course. I do count food, shelter, and savings enough to cope in foreseeable catastrophes. I don't count takeaways, eating out, a home with more than one bathroom, new clothes. YMMV.]

Is my child advantaged because I feel that way? Sure. Is it unfair? I think if something's unfair, it's that I have more money than I need for necessities. Probably a majority of mumsnet does, though, certainly including the OP here. I doubt any of you really want to fix that. You don't get to tell me I can't spend that money on my child's education, though. Make private schools illegal, I'll spend it on cutting down my hours and home educating; make that illegal, I'll more than likely spend it on leaving the country.

As I said- why not just say it without the dig?

Full Definition of mediocre: of moderate or low quality, value, ability, or performance : ordinary, so-so

www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/mediocre

Just happy to admit that my local comp is not full of knife wielding thugs. It's simply mediocre.

Bertrand - before I moved (very recently) our local catchment state college (middle school) was the third worst in Paris. No-one in my building sent their children there (not even the gardienne and her taxi driver DH). Everyone opted out and sent their DC to private schools. Now I am well aware that opting out is a lot cheaper, on the whole, in France than in England but the reality is that you can have terrible state schools despite living in a nice area.

I'm not "forced" to go private. I choose to. Mediocrity is bad enough for me.

Awesome.

Between you and user, two pretty good reasons why I want my kids to steer clear of private school!

"I'm not "forced" to go private. I choose to" Absolutely fine "Mediocrity is bad enough for me" Dig

See? Simple when it's explained, isn't it?