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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would your ten year old be happily left at home with an older sibling?

34 replies

Fourarmsv2 · 29/05/2016 07:46

I'd like to go out for a walk this morning. I wouldn't go far and I'd be out for an hour. I have a mobile. DS2 can work a phone.

DH is away.

DS2 (10) doesn't want to be left in the house without a parent. He probably won't even move out of his bed in the next hour (has breakfast and an iPad). His older brother (12) is home.

Would your 10 year old be happily left or AIBU to ask him?

OP posts:
YouCantBeSadHoldingACupcake · 29/05/2016 07:49

I leave my 8 and 9 year old for up to an hour BUT they are happy to be left and very sensible. If they didn't want to be left I wouldn't leave them.

Mirandawest · 29/05/2016 07:52

I have 10 and 12 year old DC. Both would be happy to be on their own, or together, for an hour. But if they weren't I wouldn't go.

Has he been left on his own before and did anything happen that he didn't like?

Twowrongsdontmakearight · 29/05/2016 07:52

If he's not happy, then no, I wouldn't. But I would insist he came with me!

I would have and did leave mine when I went to the local supermarket when they were similar ages to yours, but they were happy to be left.

Nataleejah · 29/05/2016 07:53

10yo is old enough to let you out for a walk. Especially if he has an ipad

Roomba · 29/05/2016 07:55

My ten year old would be fine by himself while I went out for an hour or so. He is v sensible though and would ring me and go to a neighbour in case of problems.

Mirandawest · 29/05/2016 07:56

Also, when did your 12 year old start being left on his own?

rainbowunicorn · 29/05/2016 07:56

Yes absolutely and has been many times as due to work ect sometimes my older one has to watch the younger for a few hours.
The 10 year old also walks to and from school himself and 3 days a week is first home so lets himself in and is alone for about 20 mins before either myself or husband get home.

sunnyoutside · 29/05/2016 07:58

Yes mine would be. Her older brother is 16. Think I started leaving them when dd was 7 or 8 (she is now 11) and ds1 was 12. Started off just a few minutes here or there and gradually built up.

Chasingsquirrels · 29/05/2016 07:58

My 10yo is happy been left for a few hours, either with his 13yo brother or on his own.
I've been leaving them home together for a couple of years, and on his own - for shorter periods - for a year or so.

BathshebaDarkstone · 29/05/2016 07:59

DD's 8 but her older DB's 25, so I'm sure she'd be fine! GrinNot helpful, sorry. Blush

AppleSetsSail · 29/05/2016 08:01

I leave my 10 year old with my 13 year old for 3-4 hours. They love it when we go out.

Curiousmum69 · 29/05/2016 08:02

My 10 year old would be absolutely fine for a few hours. But obvs depends on the child.

Original poster
Fourarmsv2 · 29/05/2016 08:02

I wouldn't leave him if he says no. Smile

I'm more interested in whether most 10 year olds would be happily left.

Yes he has stayed at home before and it's always been fine. His brother couldn't care less - he begs to be left rather than be dragged out!

We compromised - we're going later and he's coming with me. It's too nice to stay indoors :)

OP posts:
DecaffCoffeeAndRollupsPlease · 29/05/2016 08:09

At ten I would have been happy left alone, but desperate not to be left with my older brother, ever again (although first born and most loved, he's a psychopath who'd physically hurt me. But he's charming, married, successful, so he must be sensible and I am just a.... loser) Siblings aren't parents. Mine was a cunt when my mum wasn't looking, which was as often as she could get work in the two jobs she wouldn't have needed if she'd been happy with an average house and average schools. Your older child might be lovely, it's my experience that wasn't.

sunnyoutside · 29/05/2016 08:16

My dd is happy to be left with ds1 but doesn't like being in the house on her own for more than 10mins. Ds1 was left on his own at 10 and would have been quite happy to be left all day without anyone else in the house (not that I did)

Decaff That is awful and I am always mindful that leaving my dc with each other is an option for them not a definite. Ds1 isn't a psychopath I hope but if he and dd are going through a bickering phase then I don't push it.

LarrytheCucumber · 29/05/2016 08:39

My parents left their 10 year old and 14 year old for a whole weekend! (I was the 14 year old). I cooked roast chicken for Sunday lunch. I didn't know leaving us was a dreadful thing until my youth leader told me! It was the 60s though.

SouthWestmom · 29/05/2016 09:01

No I would be because my 13 yr old has SEN and is not an appropriate person to be in charge.

At safeguarding training we were told the police would take a dim view of two primary kids left together so that's been my rule of thumb to avoid unwanted hassle regardless of the kids involved.

operaha · 29/05/2016 09:09

My ten year old would be fine alone, or with his brother (16 so left them alone for nights out many times) but if he didn't want to stay alone then he'd have no choice but to come with me, I wouldn't not go on my walk because he said so!

hewl · 29/05/2016 09:11

Yes but siblings are 13 and 16. Tbh 10 year old extremely sensible.

Witchend · 29/05/2016 10:16

Yes. I leave my 8yo with my 15yo any time. And he stays for shot periods with my 12yo.

dementedpixie · 29/05/2016 10:22

My 9 and 12 year olds have been left for an hour or so when I have done an exercise class.

Kerberos · 29/05/2016 10:24

Yes my 10 year old would be fine alone. She likes it and feels it's a step towards independence.

I'd probably leave my 9 year old on his own, but the two of them together would be the worst so no as they fight.

BelloBrianBadonde · 29/05/2016 10:26

I'd leave my 10-year old alone for a period of time. With an older sibling, I think it would depend on their relationship. My 10-year-old tends to bully and try to dominate his brother on a regular basis. If it was that kind of relationship, then no.

Mirandawest · 29/05/2016 11:02

If I do leave mine on their one then I'm leaving both of them there together rather than the 12 year old looking after the 10 year old if that makes sense.

grumpysquash3 · 29/05/2016 11:07

My 10yo brings himself home after school with a key. Usually my 12yo is there (different school), sometimes not.

My 10yo really isn't bothered if I am there or not (until dinnertime of course :) )