Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Original poster

AIBU to not answer my door when I'm not expecting anyone

111 replies

Torchlight86 · 27/05/2016 19:40

Am I the only person that does this? I live alone with my young son and all my friends know that if they come to my door I won't answer unless I know it's them and know they're coming! I wouldn't say I was super paranoid but I do always thing of consequences of things and do maybe over think things like I've seen in the news, people pushing their way into your home, I remember a while ago in the news a woman opened her door wth her baby in her arms and someone threw acid in her face, random attack,

A while ago an old friend who lives in my village was walking his dog past my house and knocked, it wasn't late but was dark, my curtains were closed so I couldn't see who it was, I wasn't expecting anyone, so I didn't answer, he messaged me later on and was actually pretty pissed off, I explained obvs I didn't know it was him and would have answered had I know, but he thought I was stupid for being cautious and seemed to take it personally even though it wasn't! 🤔

I'd be interested to know if other people do this? It just seems like common safety sense to me!

OP posts:

sepa · 27/05/2016 19:58

I don't answer unless I know who it is. I didn't realise people still turned up unannounced

starry0ne · 27/05/2016 20:00

I would say your choice and particularly after dark..However I had a builder knock today to tell me he would be drilling the back of the neighbours house noticed my washing was out and it would of been covered in dust had I not answered.

JuliaDreams · 27/05/2016 20:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NeedACleverNN · 27/05/2016 20:00

Meh, I always answer the door if I hear it.

If I'm not expecting anyone I might peek out the window first

Believeitornot · 27/05/2016 20:00

YANBU because of your circumstances.

katemiddletonsnudeheels · 27/05/2016 20:01

I don't, but it's because I've had problems with bailiffs in the past (not my debt.)

museumum · 27/05/2016 20:01

I find it quite odd. I've often rung my neighbours doorbells to tell them that they've taken in the wrong bin or that I have a parcel for them or various other little things. I'd find it quite strange if I could see them moving around in their house but they didn't answer. I mean it's their perogative but it feels quite paranoid to me.

SabineUndine · 27/05/2016 20:02

I don't either, usually. It will only be someone trying to force their politics or religion on me.

IceMaiden73 · 27/05/2016 20:02

I don't answer the door unless I am expecting someone either ! x

FinallyHere · 27/05/2016 20:03

Being able to decide these things fir myself is pretty much the point of being an adult with my own place and so my own door. If i am expecting a parcel, I open an upstairs window to establish who is calling.

VulcanWoman · 27/05/2016 20:05

I think we're talking about randoms here not neighbours.

EveryoneElsie · 27/05/2016 20:08

Its not paranoia,
I'm disabled. I might be wired up to my Slendertone or Tens. Or on the loo, or about to go to the loo.
Some people might have a colostomy bag and need to empty it. Or anything.

Theres no need to jump to any conclusions.

DavidPuddy · 27/05/2016 20:08

I don't answer the door either. But it's not due to paranoia or fear, I just don't want to interact with strangers (for strangers it always is). There are already enough awkward interactions in the day. I am a very awkward person and my home is my sanctuary.

Original poster

Torchlight86 · 27/05/2016 20:10

Wolfie I imagine if it was a friend in need they would shout who it was and I would obviously open the door, like wise the police probably encourage caution like this and I imagine would shout if no one answered and they knew someone was in!

I don't have a peep hole and because of the way my house is designed I can't really see out of any curtains

Seems like there's a lot of people that agree with me, which makes me feel a little bit less of a scardie cat!

Also after a few of you have said they teach their children to do so too I remembered my parents saying to me as a child 'you never answer the door unless you know who it is, it could be anyone!' So that's probably where I've got it from! ☺️

OP posts:

Theydontknowweknowtheyknow · 27/05/2016 20:13

I have a special Knock Code that I give to the people I like. Works a treat.

TowerRavenSeven · 27/05/2016 20:15

I do this too but not for safety. I feel very safe where we live. But I do it because I don't want to have to cut someone off trying to sell me something or covert me to their religion.

I also like privacy and close our curtains when the sun goes down, I've been told by neighbors they didn't think I was home, I don't say anything but frankly I don't care at all.

I don't answer my phone either if I don't know who it is, and sometimes I don't even when I do. Modern technology!

Redglitter · 27/05/2016 20:16

I keep my buzzer off and don't answer the door either unless I'm expecting a visitor or delivery.

None of my friends would ever just turn up unannounced

Thingsthatmakeugoummmm · 27/05/2016 20:18

I'm with you Torchlight86. I never answer door if not expecting anyone. I always text friends if I am going to knock at theirs.

I can be sure that it would only be a sales call. I previously lived next door to a school and used to get so fed up of people knocking on my door so that their children could use toilet!

NellWilsonsWhiteHair · 27/05/2016 20:22

YANBU, I'm the same (and also live alone with my small son). In fact, I might even be worse because I live in an upstairs flat with intercom and I still don't answer if I'm not expecting anyone.

The buzzer going unexpectedly always worries me disproportionately. It's nearly always a visitor for my downstairs neighbour, but it briefly panics me which is a bit odd as I'm not usually paranoid at all. I feel vulnerable on this issue though, and I don't think that's unreasonable. I would be fucked off if any of my friends got arsey about it, especially if they'd dropped by after dark. Use your phone!

Nannawifeofbaldr · 27/05/2016 20:22

I never knew that this was a thing before MN, but it seems to be quite common on here at least.

I always answer the door whatever time it goes but then I live in a very safe area and I can see through the inner door before opening the outer one.

It's your door OP, so you get to choose, don't worry about anyone else.

SummerSazz · 27/05/2016 20:23

I'm genuinely baffled by this. Never really considered not answering my door (or phone)

MadamDeathstare · 27/05/2016 20:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DancingDinosaur · 27/05/2016 20:29

I don't unless I'm expecting a parcel or someone has arranged to come round. All my friends know I won't answer the door unless I know they're coming. Anyone else knocking on the door is always people trying to sell me something. Which happens 2 or 3 times a day where I am.

Pigsbum · 27/05/2016 20:33

I live in a ground floor flat so never even answer the buzzer to the communal front door unless it's the code I've told people to use as visitors to my upstairs neighbours are always buzzing me and I find it massively irritating. On the few occasions when someone knocks on my door I peek through the spyhole and ignore whoever it is 99% of the time. I'm not as anti social as I sound

sallyfox · 27/05/2016 20:34

Never open the door without check who it is and being sure you want to let that person have access to your home

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Swipe left for the next trending thread