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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To change my son's name (kind of) at 2 years of age.

383 replies

Writerwannabe83 · 27/05/2016 10:00

DS is 2yrs and his name isn't particularly uncommon but nor is it an overly used one either. Prior to having DS my DH was really keen on this name, me not so much but I did agree to it on the premise that we wouldn't spell it in the typical way because that way can lead to a pronunciation of the name which I really don't like.

But anyway, two years down the line and people are still using the typical spelling and it's driving me mad. Anytime he comes home with something from nursery they've labelled it with the typical spelling, they use the typical spelling when writing in his daily journal, when people text me regarding him they spell his name the typical way and I still get birthday and Christmas cards and they have his name spelt the typical way. He received a certificate yesterday after some activity he'd done at a toddler group and as soon as they heard what his name was they automatically wrote it on his certificate but in its default form so now I feel bummed about that because it my eyes it's not my DS's name.

I have told people soooo many times how we spell his name but it's still constantly spelt in its most common form.

It's really starting to grate on me now.

BTW - the spelling of his name is perfectly legitimate but it's just not the spelling that people associate with the name.

I don't particularly blame people because they just spell it as they assume it's spelt but it's starting to get me down now.

As an example of what I'm trying to say, imagine there's a boy called Luke, but instead of his parents wanting to spell it that way they want to spell it Luc but everyone still writes his name down as Luke because that's the typical spelling. That's probably a rubbish example but I just wanted to try and demonstrate it a little

Anyway, despite me really not liking the common way of spelling his name I'm seriously considering changing his name to it because this misspelling of it is driving me mad and I have a feeling DS will be dealing with this all his life and it will no doubt piss him off in the same way it's pissing me off.

OP posts:
BadlyWrittenPoem · 27/05/2016 19:05

Stan

BadlyWrittenPoem · 27/05/2016 19:07

Apologies for phone!

I'd think Aran, Arun, Arran or Arrun for your pronunciation so would check. I'd never think of spelling it Aaron as that is a different name!

Lilacpink40 · 27/05/2016 19:11

I have a very common name but there are 5 different spellings if we're counting shortened versions. As others have said, it doesn't matter when you're old enough to tell people your preference!

rachelreallife · 27/05/2016 19:12

Honestly? In general I would say get used to it and it does get better. I am 33 years old and still get my name spelt incorrectly, even my mum's BFF who has known me since birth STILL spells my name Rachael. On the whole, people soon realise and do spell it correctly though. For nursery and school I would expect them to spell it the way you have chosen and as such would speak to them about it rather than opting to change your son's name. ;)

mrsc118 · 27/05/2016 19:13

I have a shortened version of a name as an actual name. Every single person I meet calls me by the long version and I have to correct them every sodding time! I totally feel your pain

Placeinthesun · 27/05/2016 19:14

I stupidly gave one DS a beautiful eastern European name (he was going to be named after my Russian Godmother but turned out the wrong sex for that name....). We use the shortened form most of the time, to get it pronounced correctly we spell the shortened not in the correct way Russians would.....the shortened version is very easy to say but people still miss out a letter, change the ending to ie etc etc. Annoying but like the name too much, as does DS, to live with these irritations.

lucyandsi · 27/05/2016 19:15

I can relate to this, My daughters name is Amba....and regularly has invitations or cards and school work with it spelt Amber... it's even worse as there is another child in her class called Amber with the common spelling..

Orwellschild · 27/05/2016 19:19

I work with an Aaron pronounced "Arrun". I'm even more confused now doesn't take much also I have an ambiguously spelt name. My way of spelling it is obviously the best way the other ways are common

OneMagnumisneverenough · 27/05/2016 19:27

My son has a rare spelling of an uncommon name - we've rarely had any issues, but when people have assumed the "typical" spelling they invariably get that wrong too!

I'm thinking it's probably easier that it's not that common a name because people often can't spell that either so therefore ask how it's spelt.

Original poster
Writerwannabe83 · 27/05/2016 19:28

Who would have thought that a name could lead to such dramas for is all.

DS is pronounced a-run, not a-ran.

I wish I could go back in time and tell DH that no, we aren't having Aaron/Arron/Arran/Arun as a name Grin

OP posts:
UterusUterusGhali · 27/05/2016 19:29

My name was very uncommon growing up and there are a few spellings so people were ALWAYS mispronouncing it or misspelling it.

Doesn't bother me a jot.

Some colleagues call me something totally different and I just answer to that now.

It's a much more common name these days, so people know how to pronounce it and that there are different spellings. :)

If it's a legitimate spelling, and not "Loweeee" or "Looke", then stick at it.

EsmeraldaEllaBella · 27/05/2016 19:30

My name is very unusual. People always mishear it as a more common name. Annoying but only happens with people I don't know so not a big deal

SarfEast1cated · 27/05/2016 19:32

I just have to rush in and say how much I love your name uterusuterusghali

Quality.

Unicorn1981 · 27/05/2016 19:35

My dad's name is Sofia and it still get spelt Sophia. Most care workers at her preschool spell it the correct way but one doesn't. I don't correct them when it's on her drawings but if it was a certificate I probably would have a friendly word. If you don't mention it then I guess it gets more difficult to bring it up after a while. We taught her a song how to spell her name to teach her anout spelling anyway. And she tells everyone it's s-o-f-I-a! She's 3. It drives me mad when people call her Sophie though!

Unicorn1981 · 27/05/2016 19:36

Dad! That should say dd Grrrr!

Original poster
Writerwannabe83 · 27/05/2016 19:37

I was hoping for a really interesting story then into why your dad was called Sofia Grin

OP posts:
TyrionLannistersShadow · 27/05/2016 19:37

I live in Ireland and here Aaron is always pronounced as Ar-un or Ar- an, it's kind of between the two. Air-on is seen as an American type pronunciation Grin . Never seen Arran but I would pronounce that the same as Aaron ie Ar-an. Lovely name btw.

Mildred007 · 27/05/2016 19:38

No don't change his name or spelling of it - that would be a shame! One of my daughters has a name which is actually spelt the traditional irish way but it often gets misspelt or mispronounced so I kind of know how you feel but stick to what you have chosen. I would get your son's nursery to reissue his certificate with the correct spelling of his name though - how hard can it be for someone who looks after him regularly to remember how his name is spelt ! Now that really would annoy me - particularly as they'll probably be teaching him to write his name sometime in the future, they need to get it right!!

ManonCrempog · 27/05/2016 19:38

I love it- but would imagine that it was pronounced Ah-ran not Ah-run.

Unicorn1981 · 27/05/2016 19:45

Ha ha writer. Sorry to disappoint! Grin

Gallievans · 27/05/2016 19:49

my middle name is spelt with an S instead of a Z. I'm 46 and still have to correct it at times. Stick to the spelling & definitely tell the nursery to pull their socks up. Your child, your name choice, your rules!

Jasminty · 27/05/2016 19:51

My name can have an e in it, that's the typical spelling. There are loads of variants and I have been called them all. I do get peed with this because I see it as laziness and a basic lack of respect.

Fair enough if they don't know. I can't expect then to get it right. When people have received emails from me for 6 months and still get it wrong, that's another matter, plus autocorrect pops the e on. I could let it go but I feel it's a part of my individuality that shouldn't be thrown away carelessly by others.

I have always had this problem. It has never changed and generally only people closest to you will get it right. Even some of my cousins misspelt my name. It won't change so the question is:

Are you/your child willing to live with it?

Lukesme · 27/05/2016 19:52

Just accept it. DD name is a French variant with an accented è no one uses it and pronounces it in the English form. I have just joined in, there is a back story to the French bit so I will just tell her when she is older. My name is always misspelt and shortened even though I always use my full name when introducing myself. It's not worth getting het up your whole life !

Gallievans · 27/05/2016 19:53

btw, Aaron has always been aa-ron in our family (cousin)-and in hubby's (also a cousin called Aaron. Weirdly, same year, same month, different continents!

GrandMarmoset · 27/05/2016 19:58

Just for the record a client once brought their dog into our surgery stating the dog's name was Fido, which I made a note of. They looked over my shoulder and said, " No, it's P-H-A-E-D-E-A-U-X." I couldn't stifle my giggles and said client was rather annoyed, having demonstrated her superior intellect. Different with your child though. Spell it the way you want and just make sure you tell people. It'll eventually stick.