To change my son's name (kind of) at 2 years of age.

[Writerwannabe83]

DS is 2yrs and his name isn't particularly uncommon but nor is it an overly used one either. Prior to having DS my DH was really keen on this name, me not so much but I did agree to it on the premise that we wouldn't spell it in the typical way because that way can lead to a pronunciation of the name which I really don't like.

But anyway, two years down the line and people are still using the typical spelling and it's driving me mad. Anytime he comes home with something from nursery they've labelled it with the typical spelling, they use the typical spelling when writing in his daily journal, when people text me regarding him they spell his name the typical way and I still get birthday and Christmas cards and they have his name spelt the typical way. He received a certificate yesterday after some activity he'd done at a toddler group and as soon as they heard what his name was they automatically wrote it on his certificate but in its default form so now I feel bummed about that because it my eyes it's not my DS's name.

I have told people soooo many times how we spell his name but it's still constantly spelt in its most common form.

It's really starting to grate on me now.

BTW - the spelling of his name is perfectly legitimate but it's just not the spelling that people associate with the name.

I don't particularly blame people because they just spell it as they assume it's spelt but it's starting to get me down now.

As an example of what I'm trying to say, imagine there's a boy called Luke, but instead of his parents wanting to spell it that way they want to spell it Luc but everyone still writes his name down as Luke because that's the typical spelling. That's probably a rubbish example but I just wanted to try and demonstrate it a little

Anyway, despite me really not liking the common way of spelling his name I'm seriously considering changing his name to it because this misspelling of it is driving me mad and I have a feeling DS will be dealing with this all his life and it will no doubt piss him off in the same way it's pissing me off.

I'm still going with Rafe, but everyone spells it Ralph and then he gets called R-a-l-f.

Actually Sara pascoe was on about this a while back on TV lol, hers is pronounced Sarah but spelt with no H I can't remember what it was that she said but it was funny.

(I do understand that 'guess the name from the description' was not the point of the thread though )

Its Rafe (spelling )isnt it

My friend is Sara but pronounced Saara iyswim

My guess is Stephen/ Steven.

Writer, I really don't think posting his name will do that much harm.

Look, I'll do it.

I have a Maisie. I used to get irritated beyond belief at all the Maisy, Maisey, and (once, memorably) Mayzee cards. Also when we go back to Wales people tend to say "May-cee" rather than "May-zee" which adds to the confusion.

Now she's older I'm ok with it, she doesn't introduce herself as "I'm Maisie with an ie", she just corrects the person if they ever get it wrong. She does it politely and people usually just apologise and remember for next time. I honestly think it will get easier as he grows

Stephen/Steven wouldn't alter the pronunciation. Nobody pronounces it Step-hen!

My friend has a Rhys, everyone spells it Reece and it drove her nuts. He's now old enough to correct people himself. DS has a name that is considered to be a shortened version of several similar names. It's interesting to see what names are used on his mail despite him telling people how it's spelled.

Don't change his name, just keep telling people. Every time he comes back from nursery say that they are spelling his name wrong which won't help him when it comes to school, people text, just correct them.
My name needs spelling & correcting but doesn't bother me in the slightest, seems to be a MN think people getting worked up about children having to spell their names through their life.

I really wish I could tell you DS's name so people would understand my dilemma

it's a pretty pointless thread without knowing the name. he can't be the only person in the world with that name.

My name is reasonably common but has two perfectly legitimate possible spellings, mine is the less common version so I've had 40 odd years of it being spelt wrong, and also pronounced wrong. It's not a weird spelling, it's just that the name is an anglicized version of two slightly different names from two different European countries. I just keep correcting people and move on. I have to admit it winds me up when I've sent an email to someone, signed my name at the bottom, and then the reply comes back with the wrong spelling. It was right there in front of them FFS! Also bugs me when it's close friends who I've know for a very long time.

You can't change a 2 year old's name. It's his name now, not yours. Keep correcting people, send the certificate back for a new one with the right spelling. You've got years of this to come so try not to let it get to you.

Could be steffan if it's Steven Stephen?

"This is why people should think about before naming a child. The key question should not be the "Do I love this name?" of Mumsnet fame but "Is it possible that this name will make my child's life even a little bit more difficult in every day life?"

Obviously you can't anticipate every eventuality. And there will always be the Claire/Clare questions. But if you spell a name that everyone would spell one way a different way ( the Jak/Jack example is a good one and my ds has a friend called Graci) then you are making your child's life slightly more difficult. And why would you do that?

I agree with Always I regularly have to spell both my Christian name and my Surname- it doesn't both me at all.

I quite like having an unusual name.

I think it's Aaron, but you spell it Arran or similar to avoid the air run pronunciation. Am I right OP?

Dd has a friend Mykiel can you guess what its meant to be

Just keep correcting it. People will eventually cotton on. I had this with nursery but to me - DC had different surnames to me and they kept calling me Mrs Children'sSurname. I kept politely reminding them that Mrs Children'sSurname didn't exist, so they'd better learn my name or they wouldn't be getting paid by Ms Not-Children'sSurname...

If it makes you feel any better, my BF of 20 years still spells my name wrong. (and she is a genuine BF who isn't trying to annoy me in a passive aggressive way, honest).

I think that you'll just have to get over the next few years. By the time he gets to school, there will only realistically be a teacher and TA to correct and (in my experience) once they've got it they tend to remember. Your DS will get used to spelling his name out.

My DD is Katie/Katy (full name Katherine) and we do get the odd mis-spelling but I understand why and just correct people. One of my friends friend constantly spells it wrong in texts and I always reply with the correct spelling but she never learns .

Our neighbours always get my DH's name wrong (not a name that's easy to get wrong!), even though we regularly dropped his correct name into conversation. I think they eventually got too embarrassed to change how they referred to him and its become a running joke now.

I'd insist on the nursery getting his name right though - surely its good manners to address a child by their correct name when you spend so much time with them?

And always get certificates etc corrected.

I immediately thought Aaron/Arran too!

I have 9yo with an Irish name. He is more than happy to correct people who spell it wrong.. I don't get stressed about it.

I like my name, same as Toni's above, but I hate the shortened version (sorry Toni). It does however annoy me when emails to my proper name start with "Hi xxxxxO". I passively aggressive sign off "AxxxxA". They don't tend to say it to my face.

Bert, it's hardly really a hardship - having people not know how to spell your name though, is it?
I'm sure there are much worse things you could do to make their life 'harder'.

I was also going to say Aaron and Arun

Been with my Dh 27 years he still gets a puzzled look if he is spelling my name

We have this though we shorten the name mostly now which avoids the problem.