DS (13) is so disrespectful and refuses to come in at night. AIBU?

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DS is an absolute terror of a 13 year old! I love him to pieces, but he's hard work. He is my oldest. He goes out after dinner, to play with friends and play XBox/PlayStation with them, he goes out from 6-8 at summer, till 9. So he is going out until 9, or sometimes his friends come round here. He decided to not come back until 9:30 one night, after I had to get all the other children up, put them in a car and drive around to find him, I was seconds away from calling the police and then he appears with his friend, laughing and finding it hysterical. He wasn't allowed out the next night and was happy in thinking I'd let him out the next night, I didn't and he had a bad attitude about it - I hid the front door key and got out after talking his brother into telling him where it is that's the last time I hide something in his eyes and I had to walk out and follow him hoping his friends would laugh that I was there, no they get him on the back of their push bike and off he goes. I am at my wits end. DH says I should just let him out as he is doing well at school and isn't a bad kid AIBU?

I wouldn't be putting up with such disrespect and your husband needs to be right at your side with you.

He needs to realise this needs to be nipped in the bud now before he hits 15 because he'll be impossible then.

This behaviour isn't acceptable.

Change the wifi password. Take his phone off him and hide all his cool clothes. (That's right I said cool - my son would have said oh my days mum what the heck did you just say)

If he wants to go out with his friends he can wear a power rangers t-shirt.

He may be getting older and more independent but you are his mother.

You are I charge and he stills lives in your roof.

Good luck. X

Under your roof. He isn't a bat

Your husband needs to back you up.

Lock the doors and refuse to let him out. Change the wifi password.

He can learn some respect

Find his currency and use it against him.
Like the other poster said, change the wifi password, or take the x box controllers and put them in the boot of the car when you go anywhere, etc. Theres lots you can do to get his attention, then you can discuss how he can earn his treats, these things are not privileges. When he can be respectful and follow the house rules he can get all privileges reinstated, if he starts going off the rails the privileges are gone again. Repeat, repeat repeat. He will test you and rant and rave, turn and walk away, repeat I already talked about that, I'm not going to discuss anymore. Don't negotiate, don't back down, don't let him see any weakness.

They are privileges

Does your son know your dh opinions? What does your dh say when you've returned from looking for your son?