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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Your thoughts please - for the sake of interest

91 replies

AuntJane · 25/05/2016 12:43

Following on from the "mumtitlement" thread, I wonder what your views are on this, which happened in my office a year ago.

Work team where no more than two people are allowed to have leave at the same time, to provide cover.

Eight months in advance, childless female books a certain Thursday and Friday off. This is approved by the manager.

Two weeks in advance, childless devout Muslim female requests the Thursday off as it is Eid. She could not book the actual day any earlier because the actual date had not been declared.

On the same day, mother of two under 10's asks for the Thursday off on the grounds that her children's school has announced it will be closed for the day as over 50% of children (and a fair number of staff) will be celebrating Eid and whatever is done that day will need to be repeated.

Who gets the day off, and who doesn't?

OP posts:

PurpleDaisies · 25/05/2016 22:19

Does no one see the irony of living in a christian country and being forced to take a day off work because its a muslim holiday.

Muslims have every right to celebrate their religious holidays. This is not a Christians verses Muslims issue. I am a committed Christian and I don't think we live in a Christian country any more. I'm pleased we live in a country where we can both celebrate the days which are important to us.

In general I think schools should not close outside advertised term dates unless it's an absolute emergency (broken boiler etc) but parents need to have plans in place just in case. Not mothers-parents.

SoupDragon · 25/05/2016 22:47

Does no one see the irony of living in a christian country and being forced to take a day off work because its a muslim holiday.

Not at all.

Andrewofgg · 26/05/2016 08:24

It's not a Christian country but it used to be and some of our public holidays are aligned with the Christian calendar; which makes it more difficult for those of other religions to observe their holy days. It is particularly difficult for Muslims because the exact date depends (as I understand it) on the sighting of the New Moon in Saudi.

But that is - like having children - not a trump card.

OutToGetYou · 26/05/2016 11:36

She didn't "organise her DH to take the day off", he organised himself. To cover his own kid's childcare for the day. That's what happens when you have kids.

5Foot5 · 26/05/2016 14:01

It looks like what happened here is that with both these Eid-related requests coming on the same day the first thing that was done was that the childless woman who'd booked leave months ago was approached first - absolutely not on.

I agree with this. It is all very well to say that she was not under any pressure but it was still out of order. She might have been an unassertive, timid person who would feel she ought to cooperate and then feel guilty if she didn't. Not on at all.

enterYourPassword · 26/05/2016 16:01

I'm pleased to see so many first come first served replies.

If it had been me, when asked if I had anything special planned in my bolshier days I'd have answered "drink wine in my pants" for the reaction.

Vickyyyy · 26/05/2016 16:16

Is this hypothetical or a real scenario? Its really shite of the school to have a random closed day when they kick off about sick days and such. Hell, even have the 50% of kids in and make it a fun day or something...

Anyway, I would say first come first served also.

Where my mother works, they have a system about xmas and such. The people with kids have first priority of xmas/xmas eve off. However having xmas off means they have to work new years eve/day thus giving those without children new years off. This is a system that everyone agrees with for now. She dreads the day someone without kids joins and want xmas off though as its worked perfectly for like 5 years now and everyone who is there now is quite happy with it.

Original poster

AuntJane · 26/05/2016 16:27

Vickyyy
This is a real scenario, which happened where I work last year.

Why should those without children always work Christmas and hane New Year off? Might they not want to travel to spend Christmas with family, especially if they do not have children if their own?

OP posts:

Vickyyyy · 26/05/2016 16:37

Sorry about the hypothetical question...haven't read whole thread yet so posting blind also but I for some reason didn't read end part of first sentence xD

Vickyyyy · 26/05/2016 16:45

Why should those without children always work Christmas and hane New Year off? Might they not want to travel to spend Christmas with family, especially if they do not have children if their own?

They shouldn't but luckily the team on her ward agree to this every year as among them, the people without children prefer to go out on new years eve with mates :)

RiverTam · 26/05/2016 16:55

Not everyone without children is a 20-something who loves larging it on NYE. If someone childless joins who makes the perfectly reasonable request that they want to take time off at Christmas then I hope that those with kids will know that they've had it lucky for 5 years but that families with young children don't own Christmas. I loved going back to my parents for a long Christmas well into my 20s. I would hate to be told I'm not allowed to because I hadn't fulfilled my reproductive functions .

Proginoskes · 26/05/2016 17:00

I'm glad everything worked out well! In the situation you describe, I would say that it would be fair for it to be first come first served, and in the case of the two people asking on the same day for one open leave slot, I think it should go to the person whose request got to the manager first, by whatever method. Although I do think that given the requirement for a paper sheet signed by the manager, emailing the manager to ask her to put it on the sheet is not quite fair, the person who emailed should have come in and filled in the paper slip like the other person did. So in that case, I think it should go to whoever's piece of paper hit manager's desk first.

Andrewofgg · 26/05/2016 17:48

When my DS was small the arrival of uncle - then single - made his day. It would not be fair to make people without children work CD in preference to those with. Of course it is good for small children to have parents with them on CD if it is possible boy sometimes it isn't - and it isn't if it would mean whoever worked last CD being called on again - children or not.

Andrewofgg · 26/05/2016 17:50

but sometimes

WreckingBallsInsideMyHead · 26/05/2016 19:02

First come first served

That's how my work does it, I'm special cases management will consider requests above what is allowed so would've granted the first 2 requests and reviewing the expected workload, any projects etc and decided whether the third could be accommodated

We close weekends and bank holidays but that's it, so the two weeks over Xmas and new year are always tough for holiday requests. The system is no one can book til Christmas requests are opened in about September and then they are done differently to normal and not first come first served. I only take time off if I'm travelling to see family, so my request (for the fewest days I can manage) states that, I expect other people state they have small children, or whatever other reason. Once everyone's request (or confirmation they don't want any) is in, the managers review. They'll look at who had what off last year, people generally won't get both Xmas Eve and NYE, one year no one got the full three days in between but everyone got one or two of them. I know it does sometimes come down to names out of a hat if everything else is equal. Same if they're giving early finished, names out of a hat, and those who stayed late the previous day get to leave first. I think it's a pretty fair way to do it, although it can be irritating not knowing til about November what you've got off. At least we all have weekends and bank holidays so not like we have to work Xmas day

SabineUndine · 26/05/2016 19:18

JeremyCorbyn This is a multicultural and multifaith country.

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