To think there's no way he can be hungry

[SlapACatFuckADuck]

Ds is 4 everyday we have the same discussions regarding food today for example he woke at 9:30 (didn't have nursery) we go downstairs i give him breakfast.

He eats all his breakfast puts the bowl in the kitchen and immediately wants lunch I of course say no. He then goes on continuously about how he "wants to eat" "I want lunch" "I'm hungry" "I want my sandwich" this has gone on for an hour and a half! when he gets lunch at lunch time the cycle repeats itself apart from it's not dinner because he doesn't like dinner he wants lunch as soon as he's finished his dinner the "he wants to eat" chorus pipes up again until bedtime where he will continue to go on about lunch until he falls asleep with the occasional check in that "you will give me lunch tomorrow right mum?"

I have no idea what his obsession is about lunch but inbu right? The kid can't possibly be hungry all the time especially after he's just eaten

I would give him a sandwich for breakfast also. Put more cheese and ham inside so he gets more protein. Give with plain Greek yogurt and fruit as Greek yogurt also high in protein but low on sugar

Lunch here for 4/5/6 year old would be the same as adults or as babies. Something like meat/ fish, veg or salad, with carbs. Mine eat at school now but last weekend 5 year old had for lunch:
Saturday - small baked potato, with sour cream,chives and bacon. Side salad cucumber/ spinach/ tomatoes

Sunday - chicken pieces with a warm salad of butter beans, lentils, beetroot and Motzerella.

I do offer him the fruit and he doesn't want it hence why I started the thread I just offered him a banana but no he wants crisp so he has neither

Op, When I asked if your DP was feeding him properly when you were in hospital I was being polite. What I wanted to say was did your DP forget or skip meals? You have said that he doesn't cook and he doesn't live with you I presume after your second post. Is/Was he capable of looking after a child on his own and meeting all of his needs, Like remembering to feed him?

It is extremely strange for a child to want reassurance at bed time that they will be getting fed the next day!

I'd see if you can get him more filled up at breakfast with a different cereal.

DD doesn't usually eat much for breakfast, a small pot of dried shreddies usually and thats often with me making her as I don't want her going to school hungry. But lately she has tried weetabix and is on some sort of eat-a-thon in the mornings. Recently she had 3 (she has them dry, yuk), a cup of milk, some toast and she has been putting fruit on her cereal. She is 5 and not very big. My DS is always starving at breakfast and will happily have 2 overflowing bowls of cereal with milk and a cup of milk. Mine never eat 'junk' at breakfast so they never ask for it. It's cereal or toast or fruit and we let them have as much as they want. Obviously a lot of cereal isn't that great but something like frosties is pure sugar and when I used to eat them, I found I was very hungry soon after as they just aren't filling enough.

Dinner doesn't consist of crisps or junk here either. It's sandwiches, toast, crackers, cracker bread, cheese, ham, fruit, yoghurt, stuff like that. The other stuff you mention like crisps, yoghurt bars etc are used as occasional snacks not part of meals. If you stop giving this to him as part of meals he will get used to it and stop asking for the meal where he'll get it. It may also help to have less/none of it in the house. Then he can't go and ask for it.

Re sandwiches... pinterest has loads of breakfast sandwich ideas.

-Egg
-Bacon
-Avocado and cheese
-Cheese and tomato toasted
-cream cheese with salmon/avocado/ham
etc.

In Europe they often have bread and cheese for breakfast. It's protein, fat and carbs - why not give it provided he has a piece of fruit (or there's veggies in there already)?

Ensure that there are no crisps in the house, you can't offer what you don't have. It's not a solution, of course, but it's a start. Once he learns what is and isn't available he'll start to ask for different stuff, then crisps can be a treat when out and about.

I like junk food as much as the next person, but but why does he think that crisps are an option for breakfast?

Tbh I would just offer him more of what he does like for now if he's very fussy.

Don't keep things like crisps or biscuits in the house. Then he can't ask and ask as they aren't there. They are party type food anyway so will save you money not buying weekly.

Let him eat when he's hungry, but obviously just actual food items not sugary snacks. So give a more filling breakfast, then can offer banana like you did if he wants more after. Banana are filling and he will eat if hungry. Make sure long drink also at breakfast. Then a more substantial meal at lunch to see him through afternoon again

Oh I also agree on offering fruit and if they don't want it they aren't hungry. Mine do this, DS more so. He'll ask for junk saying he's starving. I'll offer something else and if it takes it he is genuinely hungry, if he huffs and puffs and refuses, then he isn't hungry. He does say breaksticks fill him up more (not sure how). Have you tried them? I'd say try dip as well, your DS may eat it, neither of mine will.

If he's nagging for crisps, he just wants junk food. Just keep saying no. It's just a phase kids go through, it doesn't mean he's going to starve - he's trying his luck!

If he'll eat bananas etc. normally, but refuses them in favour of crisps, he's not starving, he just wants to see if you'll give him the crisps. If you give in, he'll know that he can keep asking and he'll eventually say yes. So don't give in!

You son has got into bad food habits which you will have to unteach. Of course he doesn't want fruit if he can have crisps or biscuits instead. But he didn't start off wanting crisps! At some point he was offered all of the stuff which he is demanding - crisps, cake, biscuits, sugary cereal etc - and you will have to get rid of it or you are going to continue to have this battle. How did he end up having Frosties as his cereal of choice? Why would you buy that instead of starting him on weetabix? Obviously now he has a taste for it and that is what he wants so it's going to be more difficult to reeducate his palate but it's not impossible.

Let me reassure you he has never had crisp for breakfast. He knows where they're kept though

MT I'd like say no but then again I'd like to of said he would feed the kid chicken nuggets for a month because he likes them! Dp doesn't eat a lot so maybe he did but I've been out of hospital since then and ive fed him every meal and not forgotten

Let me reassure you he has never had crisp for breakfast. He knows where they're kept though - so get rid of them and don't replace them.

I disagree with most posters here who say he's definitely hungry. My DD is like this and it's almost a fixation with food and with saying "I'm hungry" when I don't even think she knows what hungry means. Luckily she's not fussy about what I give her, she's just as thrilled to get a piece of fruit as a biscuit. But she can go out for lunch and have a main course that an adult would eat, followed by a pudding and custard, then 5 minutes later say "What's for tea?"

So I don't really have any advice to give except be strong about not giving him junk if you don't want to. I have to say that I give DD biscuits/cake now and again because I think banging on about them only being treats can make them seem more desirable.

Does he like hummus? Peanut butter? Soft cheese like Philadelphia? These are all favourite sandwich fillings for my boys. They often have sandwiches for breakfast, toast is just bread under a grill, there' no list to say only certain foods are allowed at certain times of the day.

They do have cereal sometimes, I buy the Cheerios that are made from oats and have less sugar than 'normal' Cheerios. They're 4.7% sugar which is low for a breakfast cereal.

Also, my boys quite like a breakfast picnic type thing. So a small pot yoghurt, some fruit, vegetable sticks, plain brioche/ butter toast.
My porridge hating DS will eat oats Mixed with plain yoghurt and fruit so that could be something to try?

At 4, my DS would usually have 2 breakfasts most mornings, and now still will. Get your DS up earlier, like 8am (or earlier), then give a non-cereal breakfast, or view a bowl of cereal as a starter to keep him going while you make proper breakfast - scrambled egg and bacon really doesn't take long to cook.

After that, be busy, get out of the house on your days at home with him, so there's structure, you eat breakfast, get dressed, go out, (maybe take a piece of fruit with you for snack, that's all you'll have as an option), lunch is after you get back.

Agree that break the crap food snacks is important, just don't buy them for a while. Have fruit bowl thats easy to reach/see.

But most importantly is the way the day starts, set him up getting up at a decent time and eating a big filling meal. Sugary cereal should be viewed as a snack.

I do think you are getting picked on for what your DP fed him. You couldn't control that. It's just it's time now to correct the bad food habits.

However you are coming across a bit twitchy. It's not nice to have people point out where you are going wrong but that's what you posted for

My dd is 3 and for lunch she would have

Cheese or ham sandwhich OR toast
Half a sausage roll
Cheese stick
Half an apple
Banana
Grapes
Half a packet of crisps

This easily fills her up and she will maybe have biscuit mid afternoon just before her dinner which can vary.

Last night was chicken nuggets, night before was chicken fajitas and tonight is spagetthi on toast

To me it looks like he's been developing some kind of "food as comfort blanket" attitude to food since your hospital stay. It won't be helped by this:

He'll then get desert if he's eaten all his dinner and been good.

Using dessert as a bargaining chip won't help him develop a healthy attitude to food.

It's good that you're addressing this while he is still so young.

Yep desert is not for being good. It's food

There are a few things that strike me here as problems.

1. He's having too much sugary/ junk food and clearly knows lots of types of sugary food and wants them. If he asks for food, do what you're doing - offer a banana or hummus and toast etc. Consistently offer healthy food and don't offer sugary food any more. Not as a treat, not for lunch, not for dessert, just remove it, at the very least until he has calmed down about asking for it all the time. It's not good for him, it's harmful to keep having sugar highs and crashes.

1. You are withholding food for fear of him getting "fat". Do you have any food issues yourself? He is a growing child and when he tells you that he is hungry you should be providing him with healthy food, regardless of what you think about whether he "should" be hungry or not. Don't tell him no, just offer something healthy.

1. This period of time where DP fed him seems to be a trigger point for these issues. It could be worth investigating more but the priority here is getting back on track.

1. You are using food as a reward and punishment. You said he gets ice cream if he's "good". This is a really unhelpful thing to teach a child. Food is just food. It's there to give us energy and help us grow. It is not a reward and it is not a punishment. It's really harmful to start putting these connotations into food. Stop using food for other things and think of a different reward system.

1. He is concerned that he won't get lunch the next day. Whatever the cause, you need to work to reassure him that food is always available. By which I mean healthy food of course! Have a fruit bowl somewhere he can reach that is always out and available. If he's hungry, he can help himself any time of the day. You could also involve him more in meal times - get him to help you prepare food or plan meals. Eg. each evening offer 2 choices for lunch the next day - jacket potato & toppings or vegetable pasta? He can choose and then has the reassurance of the next day's food.

There's loads of great info out there about healthy eating. Try:
www.bbcgoodfood.com/howto/guide/healthy-eating-what-young-children-need
kidshealth.org/en/parents/habits.html
www.nidirect.gov.uk/articles/healthy-eating-your-growing-child

Your health visitor/ GP surgery/ nursery can also help with resources and support, particularly if there seem to be any underlying issues.

Good luck.

6yo DD has a sweet tooth (as do I). We now have a system in place where she gets three "treats" (her word) a day. She gets a homemade flapjack or similar in her lunchbox, a couple of biscuits after school and a small bit of chocolate after tea (eg two squares of a bar of Dairy Milk). She's learned over the years that that is her lot and so nags for food less. However, she also knows she can have vegetable sticks, a bit of cheese, a banana or toast whenever she likes so will never have to be hungry. This has really helped.
A typical day for her is:

• toast or "boring" cereal (weetabix, bran flakes) with croissant or cheerios as a weekend treat
• sandwiches, treat, veg sticks with hummus & piece of fruit for lunch
• meat, veg & carb for tea . Yo yo, fruit winders, raisins, Barny bear, pom bears, yogurts etc all count as "treats" in this house rather than part of a meal.

Ps. You mentioned the cost of the food - it really doesn't have to be expensive. Fruit winders definitely will add up and get expensive - healthy food isn't expensive at all. It's much cheaper to provide a banana sandwich or whatever than to get ready made/ junk food. Have a look around for healthy meal/ snack ideas for children and get some ideas.

If he's fixating on sandwiches at breakfast time, let him have sandwiches for breakfast, give him the breakfast option at lunch. If it's a constant barrage of anxiety over his food, mix things up, see if that settles him. Or occasionally give him everything he asks for, within reason. Cereal, yogurt and a cheese sandwich for breakfast? Okay! Same again for lunch and dinner? Alright! I think the most important thing is to deflate his worries, and reassure him that food will always be there. Another option is that if you are sure he's eaten enough and he's still asking, distract him with an activity, don't get into conversations about food, it'll literally feed the obsession!

At weekends, my DC do get ice cream or jelly or something for dessert but only if they eat enough if their main course. It isn't tied to behaviour but they get told that, if they're not hungry for chicken, cauliflower etc and that is going in the bin then I don't want to waste ice cream too.

I'm not sure offering more fruit is a great idea. It is quite sugary. He needs more protein.

I find my children are starving first thing in the morning, pretty hungry at lunch time and less so at tea time which is the opposite of me. I'm not hungry in the morning and I like to eat late.

Would he eat a bagel with cream cheese and ham or avocado or smoked salmon if you're posh or a peanut butter one for breakfast? Add in a banana and a yoghurt based smoothie (but check the sugar) and that's pretty filling. Or even milk with Nesquick or similar added to it?

We do a sandwich or wrap in the evening. Mine also eat a lot of pasta and rice and have a big lunch.

Protein rich foods include meat, fish, eggs and dairy products but also hummus, legumes and pulses. So adding those in where you can will help him feel fuller for longer.

I'd make crisps a treat and the same with biscuits and fruit winders etc. There was some research published recently that suggested the more sweet things you eat the more you crave them (it was to do with diet drinks and obesity iirc) and having a sugary hit with make him crash later energy wise.