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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think there's no way he can be hungry

257 replies

SlapACatFuckADuck · 25/05/2016 11:04

Ds is 4 everyday we have the same discussions regarding food today for example he woke at 9:30 (didn't have nursery) we go downstairs i give him breakfast.

He eats all his breakfast puts the bowl in the kitchen and immediately wants lunch I of course say no. He then goes on continuously about how he "wants to eat" "I want lunch" "I'm hungry" "I want my sandwich" this has gone on for an hour and a half! when he gets lunch at lunch time the cycle repeats itself apart from it's not dinner because he doesn't like dinner Hmm he wants lunch as soon as he's finished his dinner the "he wants to eat" chorus pipes up again until bedtime where he will continue to go on about lunch until he falls asleep with the occasional check in that "you will give me lunch tomorrow right mum?"

I have no idea what his obsession is about lunch but inbu right? The kid can't possibly be hungry all the time especially after he's just eaten Angry

OP posts:
InSpaceNooneCanHearYouScream · 25/05/2016 12:15

Well with the total list of things he won't eat for breakfast, I would say he is very fussy

Cambam2010 · 25/05/2016 12:17

I have a 6 year old son that is always hungry.

Breakfast (7.30am) - bowl of wholewheat cereal, 1 pepperami, 1 babybel, 4 cream crackers with butter, half punnet of strawberries, 1 small fromage frais and a handful of cherry tomatoes. Says he is still hungry and wants something to eat in the car on the way to school.

Lunch - school dinner (doesn't eat much on a Wednesday and doesn't like roasts, or a Friday as doesn't like chips)

Snack - at after school club. Maybe a crumpet, sandwich, wrap, sausage roll etc

Dinner - meatballs and spaghetti, cherry tomatoes, pepper strips, cucumber, pickled onions (won't eat cooked veg)

He continues to say that he is hungry after dinner. I say that he can't possibly be hungry and that he is just using it as a delay tactic before bed. Has maybe 2 ginger snap biscuits.

Only drinks water.

I struggle to keep giving him non-snacky foods as he pesters constantly for crisps.

Whatthefreakinwhatnow · 25/05/2016 12:18

I agree with PP, your son sounds very fussy, and his diet isn't filling enough.

If he likes sandwiches, let him have grilled cheese and ham ones for breakfast, gar more filling than crappy frosted cereal.
For lunch then do a jacket potato, pasta salad etc so it's not a repeat of breakfast.

HermioneJeanGranger · 25/05/2016 12:18

If you can have a bacon sandwich for breakfast, why can't he have a ham sandwich? Arguably the ham sandwich is probably healthier!

I don't see the need to give breakfast cereal just because it's a breakfast food. Sandwiches are fine for breakfast if they'll fill him up. Lots of European breakfasts combine ham/cheese/bread together. It's more filling and better for you than a bowl of frosties!

Original poster
SlapACatFuckADuck · 25/05/2016 12:18

I can not control what someone gives him whilst I'm in hospital. I didn't even find out till I was out so get lost with your unhelpful comments Farrow

Didn't think me being in hospital made at all a difference. I mean we're not talking about what I like for dinner or not. I mean I ate about a handful of chips a day when I was in hospital but we're not talking about me!...

OP posts:
WannaBe · 25/05/2016 12:19

Ok OP the solution starts with knowing the extent of the problem. So firstly you need to establish exactly what it is he's eating, not just what he ate today or yesterday, but to get an idea of his general diet.

Keep a diary for a week. Write down exactly what he's eaten, at what time and how much. This will give you an idea of exactly what he's eating, whether it's all sugar and carbs and how much protein is in there as well.

Once you' È done that you can start to get a better idea of the things that you need to cut back on in order to fill him up more.

You say that he used to sleep from 6:30 until 10? To be honest this would concern me as well. It's hard to know whether or not the sleep is brought on by the fact that he's not got enough energy, or whether the two things have an underlying cause that perhaps needs to be looked at. Constant hunger coupled with excessive tiredness is something which IMO couldn't hurt to discuss with a GP.

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 25/05/2016 12:20

Exactly what Wannabe said. Far too much sugar and not enough protein. Also not enough complex carbohydrates. Not wonder he's always feeling hungry!

If he wants a cheese sandwich for breakfast give him a cheese sandwich. White bread is quite sugary so if you can make it a bit healthier with a lower sugar option that'll help. Will he eat yoghurt? Not low fat with added sweeteners but ones with low sugar and more fat.

If he's currently fuelled on sugar he will feel unsatisfied and hungry!

Original poster
SlapACatFuckADuck · 25/05/2016 12:20

Hermione Sandwiches are fine for breakfast if they'll fill him up

That's the point he'll still tell me he's hungry after lunch!

OP posts:
FarrowandBallAche · 25/05/2016 12:20

The answer is in the first paragraph of your second post. Read it again.

Talk to his nursery and see if they've noticed anything untoward regarding food since your hospital stay and take him to the GP and tell him/her everything you've written here.

And stop being angry with him for being hungry.

bigkidsdidit · 25/05/2016 12:21

My DC often have sandwiches for breakfast. Peanut butter or cheese or cheese and jam. I don't see the problem

Original poster
SlapACatFuckADuck · 25/05/2016 12:23

So what do you give your 4 year olds for lunch? I would of said he was fussy but then the only person I know who was fussy ate only chicken nuggets and ham sandwiches nothing else.

OP posts:
Juanbablo · 25/05/2016 12:23

I think the idea of keeping a diary for a week is very good. Also note down if he does eat all that you give him. I think more protein would definitely help. Peanut butter and banana milkshake with full fat milk plus a ham sandwich should fill him up for breakfast.

My children drive me round the bend saying they are hungry. Dd only eats little bits then says she is hungry so that annoys me. Ds1 eats absolutely loads but burns a lot of energy. Ds2 has started copying them asking for food. I try and make it pretty boring tbh like oatcakes, fruit etc so I can tell if they are really hungry or trying it on thinking I will give them a biscuit.

If he will eat pancakes or muffins they contain eggs which will fill him up.

foodiefil · 25/05/2016 12:23

Can he not have a sandwich for breakfast?

Sounds like he was fed more at dad's and has gotten used to it. TBH his daily menu sounds very healthy - I think he can a bit more. I'd start with a bigger breakfast then see if he still asks. Healthy still - just a bit bigger. Cheese sandwich?

Original poster
SlapACatFuckADuck · 25/05/2016 12:24

farrow The nursery wont of because it's a new nursery! as I said!

OP posts:
bigkidsdidit · 25/05/2016 12:24

I have a 3yo and a 5yo. They have tuna sandwiches, cucumber or carrot sticks and a Babybel for lunch

Liiinooo · 25/05/2016 12:24

you seem to be making a rod for your own back by allowing the sweet, salty delicious but addictive 'treat' foods and allowing him to decline the plainer options.

I dislike apples , they don't make me retch or revolt me, I just find them dull and my 'test' for am I hungry or just grazing/comfort/boredom eating is 'am I hungry enough to eat an apple?' The answer is invariably 'no'.

If he was genuinely hungry he would eat the 'boring stuff'. You need to stand firm on this or as you say he will eat you out of house and home and also develop health problems.

But don't get mad at him, it isn't his fault. The unhealthy choices are delicious. Even us clued-up adults find them hard to resist so a child is going to find it harder - you need to support him through this and be the will power he doesn't yet have.

Give him healthy meals with an occasional treat and calmly turn down any requests for extras with the offer of something he finds dull repeating like a mantra 'no, if your're really hungry you can have XXX' and the suggestion of a game or some other fun activity. He will probably kick off, but just hold firm - it takes about 4 weeks to break old habits and establish new ones

Juanbablo · 25/05/2016 12:25

Lunch is usually a sandwich/wrap or pasta. They like peanut butter, tuna, ham, salami, cheese. Or sometimes beans or eggs on toast.

Cucumber or carrots sometimes with homous to dip. Fruit of some kind, often berries or mango. Then they have yoghurt.

Big two always starving when they come out of school so I have to have a snack ready.

Original poster
SlapACatFuckADuck · 25/05/2016 12:26

Okay will keep a diary and write down if he eats it all. he could have a sandwich I suppose I'll try tomorrow

OP posts:
HermioneJeanGranger · 25/05/2016 12:27

Is he hungry or is it just habit, though?

He's only young - if he's used to getting whatever he asks for, he'll keep asking! You probably need to be a bit more firm - when he asks for junk, just say "No, if you're hungry, have a banana". "I want crisps!" "No, you're not having any crisps at the moment, if you don't want a banana/some fruit then you're obviously not hungry." Repeat ad infinitum.

He needs to get out of the habit of asking for food all the time. So maybe distract him after meals - "no, we've had breakfast, now we're going to bake/build lego/go to the park/whatever, you can have some food when we get back". So you're reassuring him he WILL get some food later, but now you're doing something else.

RiverTam · 25/05/2016 12:27

Frosties isn't a great breakfast. DD is 6 and she has 3 bowls of cereal for breakfast (shreddies, rice crispies or cornflakes and a weetabix, occasionally porridge). He sounds pretty slim so I don't think he's going to pile on the pounds unless he's sat watching TV all day.

Clear your house of all crappy stuff so it isn't there to tempt him, if you don't want home to have that. And I would get him up earlier, DD goes to bed around 8.30 but she's up at 7 for school, and sleeps in till 8 latest at the weekend, so she's eating far earlier than your son.

But I would say he needs a much bigger, healthier and more filling breakfast.

ElsaMars · 25/05/2016 12:28

I have the same problem with DD OP. She's 3 years old but is ALWAYS hungry, always says she's hungry, always wants more.

Like your DS she eats loads in the say and then won't touch her dinner. I've tried to get the balance better but she lives 'cold food' more than dinner in the evening.

I find it embarrassing more than anything when I see her friends picking at and taking or leaving food. She isn't overweight but it's a worry isn't it!

mogloveseggs · 25/05/2016 12:28

I agree with the pp who said offer two snacks (not crisps) and see if he's hungry. Also see if he's mistaking hunger for thirst maybe. Ds (4) has phases of eating us out of house and home in fact he's in one now. Breakfast at 8.30 big bowl of cheerios with milk. Then a banana, then a yoghurt, then an apple, then half a packet of mini breadsticks. then a packet of crisps. Now he's tucking into a round of ham sandwiches, a big chunk of cheese and some cherry tomatoes! He's thin as a whippet (wish I was Grin). Dd (11) however will refuse fruit as wants to eat junk Sad

RiverTam · 25/05/2016 12:29

DD has a 'proper' meal for both lunch and dinner, she's not great with sandwiches. So pasta, rice, couscous dishes, sometimes veggie fingers or pie with spuds and veg, soup with bread, beans/cheese/scrambled eggs on toast.

Tippy6312 · 25/05/2016 12:30

I think there's several things going on here. He's had it, albeit from Dad the type of food he now wants. At a time when he was probably anxious.
Cereals / go ahead bars / fruit = all sugar. He will be hungry, there is no substance to those snacks or meals.
Also he does sound "picky" (sorry I hate that word) but because he has been allowed to dictate so much what he will eat, he will continue to do so.
You say he doesn't like nuts, have you tried any recipes out containing them? So a more filling breakfast snack (very easy to make) could be oaty nut cookies. So mash up bananas, a nut butter (like almond etc) oats and bit of honey. Much more filling but he will still get the sugar craving hit he's now used to.
Maybe just start introducing more filling snacks slowly so he can get used to them, along side his usual meals.

AppleSetsSail · 25/05/2016 12:30

I honestly don't understand the problem here, apart from the fact that his diet is not great. He just wants to eat more food then you're currently offering. You shouldn't withhold food on the basis that you're worried he'll get fat.