to complain that DD had an Empire Day theme at Rainbows?

[DancesWithTimMinchin]

DH is from a former colony. We don't think celebrating our history of colonisation is appropriate or inclusive. When we complained, the people who organise the Rainbow's didn't think there was anything inappropriate about celebrating Empire Day as a theme for a history-based afternoon.

AWBU?

bert I might have mentioned, get off my humph.

Oh do one OP I know it's not very nice but that was so random I just couldn't help laughing.

Of course, not wanting to take on the responsibility of running a unit when you have children to consider is your prerogative and no-one should criticise you for making that choice but, please don't put other potential leaders/helpers off by saying that they can't do it if they can't leave their children with someone else.

Once again assuming the worst of me - I was told this BY OUR DISTRIC COMMISIONER, I didn't make it up to get out of being a guiding volunteer. We have been told that our other children are not welcome, and boys is completely out of the question. We even lost a potential leader over it.

I have to say, while there are a few people involved in the movement on this thread who seem not to resent their involvement, more and more comments are coming up from leaders about how they give their time freely and are never thanked by the selfish parents looking for cheap childcare. If you resent it so much, don't do it. It is a choice, no one puts a gun to your head. Being a volunteer organisation does not absolve one from being sensitive to a multi-cultural society.

Darrelrivers - I suggest next time you read the thread before commenting, it would save you making a truly redundant comment...

Surely no volunteer have said they resent doing it

No, but the posts seem resentful, to me anyway.

I don't think any volunteers have said that they resent it, have they? A lot of people seem to be saying that if you volunteer you shouldn't be held to account for anything you do. Very odd- we are a family of volunteerers, and would absolutely expect to be challenged on anything people weren't happy with. It's good for us to be kept on our toes!

Just looked- I don't think there are any other volunteers posting, are there?

There does seem to be a some bitterness from volunteers on MN. For example the threads started by volunteers complaining that paid TAs/teachers/sports coaches get thank you presents and cards at the end of the year, but unpaid volunteers just get a cheery wave and a verbal thank you being one example.

The cry of "but we are volunteers" does not exempt anyone from appropriate behaviour or mean an end of year bunch of flowers is to be expected.

Bert - you have been nothing but sage and sensible, that was definitely not aimed at you. I wrote it in response to Permanentlyexhausted.

That said, I apologise, I was flippant and over the top, and contrary to belief, I do appreciate all the volunteers in the movement. I do however resent the repeated assumption that because I am not a leader I don't hold the volunteers in any regard, contribute to the movement at all or have any understanding of what it takes to be a leader. That is unfair and judgement and more than anything else, not relevant to the discussion.

I am a volunteer and I am posting.
OP - your DC is wrong wrong wrong but you can't be expected to know that as a parent.
I do object to being expected to provide free childcare (e.g. complaints about missing meetings during school holidays, not picking children up on time especially from residentials).
I also object to parents complaining the meeting is "on the wrong night" - e.g. we don't meet on a Friday, but there's a popular Friday unit locally despite some parents I know complaining this is SO awful and their children are too tired. The main leader can't do any other night. So it's that or close.
I don't object to being asked to be safe and educational for the girls. I include in this not being racist, not promoting outdated values, and not giving the girls sugar at every meeting.

"There does seem to be a some bitterness from volunteers on MN."

It is quite difficult to avoid feeing a bit bitter and twisted sometimes. There is certainly a general undercurrent on Mumsnet that people only volunteer because we don't have lives and need to make ourselves feel important. And anyway it's our choice to do it, and if we don't like being treated like Below Stairs staff we can always leave. And everyone else doesn't have time to help because of the Very Important Things they have to do.

I'm a teacher, we get treated like below stairs staff by the parents too, although we admittedly do get paid although not enough

I think if you had any understanding of what it takes to be a leader, and by your own admission you are a teacher so it surprises me that you didn't say something beforehand. I imagine you would rather your head suggest alterations to your teaching plan prior to teaching rather than have you in the office after the event?

Hive We commented at the first possible opportunity, I have never indicated that we didn't. We certainly didn't only bring it up afterwards.

I did apologise to OP when I realised that she did help at meetings. As a volunteer I did get bitter at times when the people who do nothing are the first to tell you what you should do. At my meetings parents were supposed to go on a rota to help, only once a term, and you have no idea how difficult this was!

That's quite reasonable. What did they say? Did they continue to run the meeting?

OP - you haven't actually said what the leader's reaction was, beyond "oh we found out through Google". Did they acknowledge it was inappropriate?

OP YANBU!!

Everyone saying "go away" are BU.

The history of British colonialism is a hideous, shameful thing full of attempted genocides and the murder and rape of completely innocent foreign people who were happily minding their own business causing no harm or threat to the British Isles at all. That is historical fact. How can we possibly defend what our ancestors did to these places? How can it possibly be a subject of pride with which to install our children? Are you all psychotic or simply racist?

YANBU, op, yanbu.

• instil. Not install. Obviously.

We commented at the first possible opportunity, I have never indicated that we didn't

What was the first possible opportunity? Did you know the theme in advance? What was the outcome? That the leader carried on with the evening anyway? And did you send your DD even though you knew the theme?

Knowing the answers to these questions would help us to understand who was being unreasonable

It doesn't matter when the OP talked to the leader about it or whether she helps with the group. Celebrating Empire Day is inappropriate in 2016. Best case would have been to stop it happening at all- next best is to make sure it doesn't happen again. You don't have to volunteer to have a say!

Celebrating Empire Day is inappropriate in 2016

You know that and I know that. But, clearly, for whatever reason, the leader did not. So , IMHO, it does matter when the OP spoke to the leader. If the OP spoke to the leader well in advance, and the leader had the 'celebration' anyway, then the leader is BU.

But if the OP spoke to the leader after the event, then it's simply a mistake on the part of the leader. And people do make mistakes.

Budgie My question "is were we unreasonable to complain about Celebrating Empire day?". End off. I don't want 100s of people passing judgement on when I complained or how my leaders responded we've been judged quite enough already thank you just whether you think it is an inappropriate theme for a Rainbows meeting or not.

judgement on when I complained or how my leaders responded But you didn't say how the leaders responded and that is the crux of the matter.