Cooking for my 21 year old son!!!

[Smelley66]

I need advice please! Am I being unreasonable to get fed up cooking for my son? He comes home for his dinner from work and somehow (it's my fault) I've found myself getting his lunch ready, I also do his evening dinner with his Dad's. He's just turned vegan, which has made the whole thing even more hassle as his dad eats meat. I'm a veggy myself, so I don't mind doing some vegan dinners for us. But i feel my whole life is about cooking! I'm 50 this year, surely I should be having more freedom?

Yes, I read lots of posts in the relationship threads. All I can go on is my parents/me and my sons dad. I'm doing what I believe is right for my family, because these are the only two families I truly know and that I've belonged to. My son is doing his A levels at the moment, I want him to concentrate on that, no worrying about chores, I'm not saying I wait on him hand and foot either, I cook our meals and wash our clothes, I work part time, maybe if I worked full time it might be a different matter, I'd rather do the cleaning myself, my son looks after the garden. He's got a lifetime ahead of him doing chores. Ps, he made a cake this morning before doing an exam today, he's keeping me in cake, say know more

Oh I see!! My brain translated it the wrong way round lol doh

Smelley66
Oh I see!! My brain translated it the wrong way round lol doh

((((Hug))) It's ok , Im dyslexic, everything looks Alien to me

Wonder what will be in the Daily Mail this week.

You shouldn't be cooking three different meals a day....stop now!

He is becoming cocky because he is getting away with doing nothing and you are enabling this (I say that in the nicest possible way).

He will moan when you change things ignore it as its childish behaviour, but it will do him good in the long run.

Firstly, let him buy his own spreads, milk substitutes, tofu and tins (I would still buy lentils/pulses/veg as you use them anyway).

Secondly, make him cook as a minimum for you all once a week (Chinese or Indian....you could provide a meat portion for DH by grilling it etc) and tell him that you will only cook for him twice a week and he will have cook/prepare for himself the rest of the time.

Thirdly, give him a list of chores.

As PP have said, if he doesn't like it then he can move out!

(You will also need to get DH on board to support. If he doesn't do chores/cook then your DS may try to follow his lead).

So you're around at lunchtime and teatime and have time to cook? Do you have a full time paid job out of the home? If not I don't see why this is such a big deal. You don't have to cook hot food for every meal unless you want to.

If he is underweight I would seriously question his motivation for being vegan.

Even if his reasons are reasonable it is completely not ok to announce that you need someone else to plan, prepare, cook and serve a bulking vegan diet for you for a measly £100 a month.

Most people would never feel entitled to that and the fact that he does is concerning OP.