To have one glass of wine being 19 weeks pregnant

[Makeupbabes]

I'm 19 weeks pregnant, I get really bad anxiety and have been referred for CBT only yesterday, I've had a really anxious week & when I was in tesco yesterday afternoon I picked up a small bottle of Chardonnay. I must note I've not had any alcohol since finding out I was pregnant in February & this is the first time I've felt the urge.

Anyway I get home & say to my boyfriend "oh I bought something I shouldn't have & I'm not sure if I should have it now" he completely overreacted (well to me he did) he said in a really stern voice "you are not having that, pour that down the sink now" am I so wrong to have bought this small bottle of wine, I didn't end up having it after that, he made me feel awful! I honestly felt as if I was being spoken to like a naughty 5 year old!

My question is Aibu to want one glass of wine & was he being unreasonable to react that way?

I can't comment on the effect of one glass of wine, but if your anxiety is making you want to lean on alcohol as a crutch, you need to address that pronto. Find someone to talk to / something to do which eases the anxiety off.

One glass of wine would be okay if its small i would talk to your GP about your anxiety op hope you're okay

I agree with Essential. If you picked up that wine because you've been feeling tense and anxious, then that's a bad reason for drinking - pregnant or not.

A one off glass isn't going to do any harm, but it shouldn't be to ease your anxiety.

A glass of wine a week would be totally fine for the rest of your pregnancy. (2-3 units is what is allowed in other European countries!)
However, it's not a good way to treat anxiety so perhaps seek some help for that x

I agree, one off small glasses are generally thought to be ok. It's the anxiety making you want to drink that would concern me.

I can't say on the health issues, but I know sensible pg friends of mine including a GP have drunk in (extreme) moderation (like one small glass a week) during pregnancy. So unless anyone medical comes along to overrule me, YANBU on that.

But, as you know, YABU to reach for alcohol as a prop for anxiety. It doesn't help in the long term, and it can run away with you, which you definitely DON'T want while pregnant. Chocolate is probably a better bet!

What your bf said does sound overbearing but if he is otherwise caring and supportive I wouldn't be too concerned. Have you talked to him about it and told him how it made you feel? Is he supportive with your anxiety issues? I would be worried too if I thought an anxious partner was in any danger of using alcohol as a relaxant, esp if they were pregnant.

It might be an idea to post on a kinder board (Mental Health?) as AIBU can be a bit brutal. There are people there who can help you put all this in perspective.

Hope you are ok

Thank you everyone I guess I did buy it because of my anxiety, my midwife refered me to the perinatal metal health unit at my hospital & they have referred me for CBT so I can't wait to get the ball rolling on that. Thank you x

There us plenty of evidence that the odd glass of wine is fine, just don't drink faster than you can metabolise it. Have you read Emily Oster's Expecting Better? Lots of info on what's safe in there.

Using alcohol to support you through anxiety may become a problem, though.

Sounds like your biggest problem is a bossy partner. You are a pregnant woman, not a child, and I'd be having strong words with my DH if he spoke to me like that.

The last report I heard was that pregnant women should avoid all alcohol.
It was all over the news and papers a few months ago.
I don't think a small glass is going to cause a problem but agree with others - If you want it because you are anxious, then not a good idea.

My GP told me that 1-2 units 1-2 times per week was safe. I guess the problem with drinking to stave off anxiety is that it may be difficult to limit yourself once you start to relax. Have you had problems with alcohol in the past? Is that why your DP overreacted.

Agree with other posters, a small glass of wine isn't an issue very occasionally in my opinion, I had a small amount at Christmas when I was pregnant for example. But drinking due to anxiety is a slippery slope.

You shouldn't drink alcohol for aniexty it won't help long term and it's not a good thing to start doing pregnant or not, you need a different coping mechanism.

I see you've got to wait for CBT so how about looking for a way to calm aniexty a little in the meantime just take the edge off how you feel one of those colouring adult colouring books? Can be relaxing. Breathing exercises? Self help aniexty book? Walking?

Although to answer your question I've never drunk anything when pregnant last time or this, but I don't think 1 small glass would cause any harm.

I personally agree with dh and my dh wouldn't have been happy with me having a drink. It's only 9months.

The alcohol will enter the babies bloodstream.

What is your drinking like when you're not pregnant? Do you find it easy to stick to just one?

The odd glass isn't going to hurt, but I'm always gobsmacked when pregnant women say they have a small glass now and then. Not from a judgy place - I couldn't be within smelling distance of alcohol when pregnant...just the scent made me nauseous!

OP please make sure you get some help with your anxiety and have a stern word with your OH about being a prat.

the advice is not to drink at all in pregnancy now

One small glass, is probably unlikely to harm, however I think current is none.

However if you want a glass because your anxiety has made you want one I would not have it. In my opinion drinking because of anxiety can easily lead to more than one drink, or just the one drink, but more often. This would not be a good position to be if you were not pregnant, but as you are I would not risk starting the habit of drinking to relieve anxiety.

I would book a GP appointment ASAP, an emergency one if needed, and be honest about how bad the anxiety is.

If you can stop at one then you can stop at none.

One small glass now and again should be fine but your anxiety as others have said needs addressing as does the way your partner spoke to you.

Have the wine. Enjoy it.

Like others have said the issue here is your anxiety.
I drank in pregnancy - much, much less than 1 glass a week. Only recently have i read about FAS (looking into adoption) and it's very clear that there is the potential for any glass of alcohol to cause harm. It's like Russian roulette - you never know which synapses are forming linking in the brain at any one time and whether the wine will damage or not. If i could go back in time i wouldn't have put my birth child at risk.

2-3 units is what is allowed in other European countries!)

Advised. Not allowed. Pregnant Women are allowed to drink as much as they want.

I wouldn't, I had terrible anxiety throughout pregnancy and that I'd drank alcohol fed into it.