To have one glass of wine being 19 weeks pregnant

[Makeupbabes]

I'm 19 weeks pregnant, I get really bad anxiety and have been referred for CBT only yesterday, I've had a really anxious week & when I was in tesco yesterday afternoon I picked up a small bottle of Chardonnay. I must note I've not had any alcohol since finding out I was pregnant in February & this is the first time I've felt the urge.

Anyway I get home & say to my boyfriend "oh I bought something I shouldn't have & I'm not sure if I should have it now" he completely overreacted (well to me he did) he said in a really stern voice "you are not having that, pour that down the sink now" am I so wrong to have bought this small bottle of wine, I didn't end up having it after that, he made me feel awful! I honestly felt as if I was being spoken to like a naughty 5 year old!

My question is Aibu to want one glass of wine & was he being unreasonable to react that way?

[Makeupbabes]

Thank you for all your replies. I really appreciate it. I have had a bit of a history with liking my wine too much so I think in my boyfriends defence he just thought it's a slippery slope & that's why he freaked out the way he did. I definitely used to use alcohol to help ease my anxiety which worked temporarily but I'd just feel even worse the next day & it was a terrible vicious circle. I'm overweight & pretty much put that down to drinking wine & then snacking on rubbish when I used to drink, so I wasn't helping myself there either. Luckily before I knew I was pregnant I was doing slimming world & lost a stone & dropped my drinking dramatically whilst doing that, so I was so relieved when I found out I was 4 weeks pregnant that I hadn't been drinking heavily. Phew! Hopefully I will hear back from the CBT soon they said that usually the waiting list is 20 weeks but as I'm pregnant I get moved up to priority, so I'm guessing around 10 weeks maybe hopefully sooner. Also I used to be on Sertraline & stopped taking that when I found out I was pregnant, I've also been advised to take aspirin because of my high bmi, so I don't want to take Sertraline as together with aspirin can cause heavy bleeding, which I definitely don't want when giving birth. Thank you for all your replies again x

[runningincircles12]

Yeah, I agree with some of the previous pps. It's not that such a small amount would cause damage or that you're selfish or whatever. It's that you bought it because you were feeling anxious and as your boyfriend thinks, it's a slippery slope. You could drink it today, then feel anxious tomorrow and the next day etc. Also, I find that alcohol makes anxiety and depression worse, especially the next day, so that might then tempt you into having another.
Have you tried yoga? There are really good videos on Youtube (try yoga with Adriene) that can help with anxiety. Make sure you do ones that are specially preggo-yoga because your joints will be too flexible for normal kind and you could injure yourself. Could you also try swimming and/or walking? Exercise genuinely helps, often more than anti-depressants.
You can also get self-help books on CBT to do before your sessions start. The NHS recommends a book called Overcoming Anxiety: www.overcoming.co.uk/single.htm?ipg=5082
It will probably be in your local library or you can download it as an ebook. If you do the books, you can use the CBT sessions to work on the stuff that is still there and hopefully you will get more out of the sessions.

[BonerSibary]

They're not handsome. They never are, because the standard of proof that the 'if you can stick to one you can stick to none' brigade want for wine simply doesn't exist for food. That sort of person is basically saying women shouldn't drink alcohol during pregnancy in any quantity during pregnancy unless there's irrefutable evidence of no harm from this particular quantity, but will happily consume other things for which that standard of evidence doesn't exist. Which is, everything. Because there's pretty much nothing you can eat or drink that won't be harmful for you in some quantities. Even water! And yet we don't have, because nobody would think to demand, boatloads of research on the level of safe consumption of, say, bananas, and nobody mouths off about how you should just go without for 9 months because we can't be certain. If you applied that standard of proof to everything you put in your mouth during pregnancy, you'd starve.

[BillSykesDog]

OP, I'm the same as you and I'm so glad you didn't have that wine. You would have felt even worse the next day and probably tempted to have even more.

Yoga is a good suggestion. Meditation is another one and I have had acupuncture and massage too. If you are really struggling is it worth looking into another kind of anti-depressant?

Also, this is an online CBT course that NHS doctors recommend and is very good:

moodgym.anu.edu.au/welcome

That might help in the meantime.

Good luck and all the best to you and your baby.