On Friday night, ds had a sickness bug. He woke up at 3.30 vomiting, and it went on until 6. During this time, he was very well looked after by me and dp.
A bit of background - I suffer emetophobia, which is a fear of vomit. It's pretty crippling. It's because of this that I share custody of ds (5) with exh. It means that I only spend half of my week panicking at night rather than the whole week. However this also leads me to constantly feel like I'm letting my boy down. My exh frequently tells me I am an unfit mother because of my phobia. Me and my boy love each other very much.
My dp has 3 kids who spend every other Saturday and Sunday with us. Because ds was being sick into Saturday morning I called exh in the morning and asked that he pick him up and keep for the rest of the weekend so that dps kids didn't get it. One of his children is diabetic so stomach bugs can be dangerous.
My exh went crazy calling me a terrible mother and how could he trust me with ds when I can't look after him when he's sick? I told him he'd stopped being sick and that it was to make sure dps dd wasn't exposed but he said that it wasn't his problem and he didn't give a shit if the kid got ill.
He did eventually collect ds but told me he's taking my overnights with ds away because of it. It's the first time in 3 years I've asked that ds be picked up. I get 2 to 3 nights a week with ds and they mean everything to me. Do I deserve to lose them over this?
AIBU?
To have asked exh to collect ds early?
januaryblues11 · 24/05/2016 12:22
Sorry for all the namechanging. I've been using the phone and tablet to post and they don't seem to want to log onto the same profile 
To the poster who said I have interesting poster history tbh I've posted a fair bit over the years so Lord knows what you found. I prefer to stay with the current issue.
I do not have zero contact, I was awarded contact time by the court then I have extra on top of that and it's the extra which ex keeps threatening to take away for what I believe are minor things like being occasionally 5 or 10 minutes late with ds. Its a control thing with him constantly. He does things like keeping me hanging for weeks when I request extra time with ds for a special occasion then refuses at the last minute. He has said himself he doesn't co parent with me. To him I'm not important in ds life and if I said I had had enough all his Christmases would have come at once.
He is not a model father by any means. He regularly sends ds to me in clothes 3 years too small because he knows that means I have to buy him some more, which ex then keeps. He plays dirty tricks. He is going on holiday soon with his gf for 2 weeks, leaving ds with me. He only has a problem with me having ds when it suits him.
I want nothing more than to have ds here with me but due to mh problems it isn't possible. I've been to a solicitor but it cost too much to continue. Ds will choose for himself one day and I know he'll choose me I just hope by then I can make myself worthy of him.
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