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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think they are overreacting?

96 replies

Amy214 · 22/05/2016 14:47

Me and my siblings were brought up in a household where swearing was the norm. It was an adult only thing and children were not allowed to swear, if we did we were sent to our rooms etc.. (i still dont swear infront of them) i dont mind them swearing in front of dd as long as it isnt offensive/racist and it never is. My brother has taken it to an extreme level in my opinion and tells our parents not to swear at all as he doesnt want his kids to hear (whilst they are in my parents home) my parents have told him if he doesnt like it then they have to leave as it is there house and they will do as they please (which is fair enough) my argument the whole time has been 'they will hear a lot worse in school, shopping centre and in general, it isnt offensive so whats the big deal?' his issue is 'what if they repeat what they hear' what are your opinions?

OP posts:
Original poster
Amy214 · 22/05/2016 18:05

TinklyLittleLaugh hes not an agressive person..

OP posts:
maybebabybee · 22/05/2016 18:05

Well I'm certainly not upper class and I'm not particularly well educated, but I do have a decent degree. And I'm not unimaginative or aggressive - that's pretty insulting!

MummyBex1985 · 22/05/2016 18:26

Sometimes I think a well timed swear word can be quite comical.

Fuck and cunt are regularly heard in our office of Oxford graduate lawyers - are we all aggressive, thick and unimaginative?

Hmm
ENormaSnob · 22/05/2016 18:33

Jeremy kyle will sort all this out for you.

Purplebluebird · 22/05/2016 18:43

No, I am with your brother here. I try very hard not to swear in front of my son, as I don't want him to swear. Lead by example is my ideal.

DuckAndPancakes · 22/05/2016 18:50

I come from a sweary household. I knew when it was or wasn't appropriate and certainly didn't use words I shouldn't have at a young age. I don't think there's a swear word I hadn't heard by the time I was 8'or so.

I swear at home. DD hears swearing. She knows that it's not appropriate for her to use, she's never used words. She understands it.

I'd rather her be aware and prepared than to have started school in a rough area and have other kids telling her. (I've heard children her age using all sorts in and out of school). Swearing is part of the real world.

Ps. I lied about DD swearing. She used to call bolognaise "bollocknaise".

MintyChapstick · 22/05/2016 18:58

Adults swearing in front of young kids really makes me toes curl. Its vile and shows a lack of class and decorum IMO.

Original poster
Amy214 · 22/05/2016 19:33

DuckAndPancakes dd sounds like shes saying bitch when she really means bad Blush even lunch sounds like munch Grin

OP posts:
StrictlyMumDancing · 22/05/2016 20:24

duck DS days 'pissapeared' when he can't find something. I've never corrected him Blush

PoundingTheStreets · 22/05/2016 20:29

I work in a field where I am exposed to swearing daily, from colleagues and the public. I tend to moderate my language depending on who I am with. With members of the public and my friends/family I rarely swear although I am not averse to the occasional swear word for means of emphasis or simply because sometimes 'fuckwit' just sums it up so well. Grin

I have always taught my children that it's a case of know your audience. Although I rarely swear in front of them, I know they know pretty much most swear words out there and that they use them with their friends. And I've told them that's fine. But it's not fine to use those words at their friends' parents or their teachers and if they do that they can expect to find themselves in a lot of trouble. They should also be aware that a lot of people don't like swearing and can find it intimidating, so to be mindful of using it conversationally with their friends in a public place if they are being loud.

That seems to have been understood and implemented. Never had any problems.

I think given that swearing is legally accepted as being a cause of offence in certain contexts, your parents are being unreasonable. They're hardly committing the crime of the century but would it really kill them to tone it down for a short time while their young DG are there? Being unwilling to do that does make them sound selfish and stubborn.

DuckAndPancakes · 22/05/2016 20:38

I'm an absolute arse when it comes to DD pronouncing things properly. I had people tell me off for being "too hard" on her as a toddler because I would always correct her when she said things wrong (even when I regretted it.... I still call cucumber greencumber because of her)

I think teaching children that there are words that aren't appropriate for them to use is important. We also have kid friendly swear words which DD has been told still aren't appropriate around everyone. outs self Arsehole has become Bumhoop. (DB and I may or may not refer to each other as arsehole rather than actual names)

Stratter5 · 22/05/2016 20:57

Gosh Jen Teale Tinkly, how frightfully lower middle class of you.

Original poster
Amy214 · 22/05/2016 21:02

DuckAndPancakes im sure i read somewhere that you are supposed to correct them so they know how its pronounced properly? I may be talking crap though...

OP posts:
BMW6 · 22/05/2016 21:08

I don't think it is good for children to grow up believing that swearing is a normal part of conversation.
It is not acceptable to swear in, for example, a job interview, so surely it is better for them NOT to be exposed to it relentlessly?

TinklyLittleLaugh · 22/05/2016 21:08

Is that something I should apologise for Stratters?

StrictlyMumDancing · 22/05/2016 21:22

amy I was always told not to correct them directly. So say they said they wanted an abble, you'd cheerily say something like 'of course you can have an apple'. Then DD started reception year and we got told now to actually correct them. Maybe there's an age cut off. Or one of those conflicting advice things that get handed out.

BoneyBackJefferson · 22/05/2016 21:27

I'm looking forward to the OP's many school threads about her (and her DBs) children getting sanctions for swearing and why the school is wrong.

Original poster
Amy214 · 22/05/2016 23:26

Strictlymumdancing thats the same thing i do, i never tell dd shes wrong, i think i just worded it wrong but you knew what i meant Smile

Boneybackjefferson we never swore at school when we were younger because we werent allowed too, im sure they would've told our parents Smile

OP posts:
maybebabybee · 23/05/2016 06:39

Yes I don't recall ever getting into trouble for swearing at school despite my parents swearing in front of me.

I didn't swear in front of teachers because I wasn't a total div.

caitlinohara · 23/05/2016 11:02

Whoever made the 'know your audience' comment is spot on. I would use different language in a professional situation to the language I would use amongst friends, and probably something different again with my kids. This is something everyone needs to learn to do to get along in society. Children know full well that swearing is not socially acceptable in many situations. Fwiw, my kids mostly tell me off when they hear me swear, in an eye-roll "Mummy!" kind of way.

GoblinLittleOwl · 23/05/2016 18:05

I can't believe adults think it is acceptable to swear in front of children.
Good for your brother.

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