Selfish husband or me being unreasonable?

[Karlakitten1]

We have a 6 month old baby and I am coming towards the end of my maternity leave. My pay has stopped now and I just get the maternity allowance until I go back in 5 weeks. HB is buying himself suits and shoes and other nice things, while I don't have any work things that will fit. He also moans if I go out, despite me paying for it on a credit card I will pay back once I have more money again. He does very little in the house, well, nothing actually, leaving me to do it all. He says he makes sure the bills are paid, but they all come out by DD and until this month have paid half of the mortgage, bills, etc. He doesn't appreciate anything I do for him or our LO, he rarely offers to change a nappy etc and has never done a night feed. Just feel a bit used and needed to vent...am I being silly thinking he is selfish and lazy or is this just what all men are like? He hasn't cooked once since LO came along. I feel like a nanny, not a wife! There are also lots of other thinga that bug me, but the other main one is the name calling if we have an argument...things like dickhead and cunt are said and I hate it.
Not sure if I should leave him, if I try to talk about the housework or money, he gets angry, ends up shouting and I back down in tears having been sworn at again.

Karla TALK to someone professional, someone at women's aid. You have no idea if what he is saying is true, if he is likely to lose his or whatever./ Work out what you want to do with your life, will it be with him, or not. He's tired, he's unhappy etc etc so are you! I think you need to talk to someone who can listen to your side of things and make you see you are NOT in the wrong.

Life is hard for everyone, my husband works very hard and does lots round the house, he has never called me names or thrown my clothes down the stairs, or made me cry in arguments due to an aggressive manner. You dh is controlling you. Make sure you get some professional help. Keep yourself safe and don't allow him to weadle out of anything.

He says you can have your daughter, after he does nothing to help care for her! Talk to someone in real life and get the perspective you need. And stop feeling guilty, no one is perfect but you did NOT make this happen!

Look five years in the future.

Do you still want to be living this life?

Do you want this for your DD?

It's not going to get better.

My daughter's partner comes in from work and helps or does bed/bath and story. He then cooks dinner.

He shares the night shift or does the very early morning shift.

Do not accept your husband's selfish behaviour.

You deserve more.

he is going to lose his job because of him. I expect he will fail at more jobs after you have (hopefully) left him and tell you that's your fault too. While you are successfully working and parenting on your own. You need to stop listening to him! Ask him how the other parents at his work manage as it would be very unusual if they all do as little at home as he does :p

That is a really weird thing to say to you. How can you be to blame for this, you can't. Sounds emotionally manipulative.

Honestly, many many men work hard and then come home and then take their share in the cooking, baths, bedtime routine (as do many many working women). My husband and I both often have to return to working/meetings (laptops, phone etc) once the children are asleep.

The idea that a man comes home and then has a nice doze in the armchair whilst the wife makes his supper ended half a century ago. God, my parents who are in their late 60s don't live like that.

Please get some help and support - he is making you feel like all this is your fault and it is not, it can't be.

Oh tell him to do you a favour and fuck off out of your life. He is pathetic and emotionally abusive and controlling. He talks utter shite and treats you like muck.

You would be well rid.

Sorry- I didn't mean to mince my words