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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to not go and pick dd up from her dad's

25 replies

Emochild · 22/05/2016 09:25

Dd aged 12 is at her dad's house

He says bringing her home this morning as agreed will make him late for work so he's asked me to go and get her

I was out a friends 40th last night and had a fair few cocktails -I feel fine but will not take risks when it comes to driving after the night before -he knows this

AIBU to not get her?

OP posts:

CupidsArrows · 22/05/2016 09:26

Nope I would risk getting in the car possibly over the limit. He should have got up earlier.

CupidsArrows · 22/05/2016 09:27

Wouldn't

TheSolitaryBoojum · 22/05/2016 09:27

YANBU, he needs to bring her home early enough so that he's not late for work.

SmallBee · 22/05/2016 09:28

YANBU, he needs to be late for work or send her in a taxi and be more organised next time.

MangoBiscuit · 22/05/2016 09:28

"Sorry, I'm not certain I can legally drive this morning. I'm afraid we'll have to stick to the agreed plan."

YANBU

Twowrongsdontmakearight · 22/05/2016 09:29

YANBU

HermioneJeanGranger · 22/05/2016 09:29

YANBU, he needs to get up in time to drop her home! If he's late for work, that's his problem.

EatShitDerek · 22/05/2016 09:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OiWithThePoodlesAlready · 22/05/2016 09:31

I have had this exact problem in the past! In the end I walked to get her. I'm guessing that's out?

Although he should bring her back as was arranged.

RandomMess · 22/05/2016 09:34

"Sorry that doesn't work for me" - presumably there is history of him being a dick?

PeppasNanna · 22/05/2016 09:44

Yanbu...

Littleorangecat · 22/05/2016 09:45

Do what mango biscuit says, YANBU

ParadiseCity · 22/05/2016 09:45

How far away is he? Why has he only just worked out he'll be late for work?

It would be nice for DD to see her parents being cooperative and flexible etc (eg you pick her up from there a bit later on when OK to drive) but if this is a case of her dad being a lazy twat and her mum picking up the pieces then stick to your guns.

RubbleBubble00 · 22/05/2016 09:46

Could he put her in a taxi?

Original poster

Emochild · 22/05/2016 09:47

derek
I would leave her but for some reason he seems to think she's about 5 so won't leave her alone, get the bus etc

Things she does quite happily when with me

OP posts:

RandomMess · 22/05/2016 09:51

Well that's his problem then.

Sounds more like he wants to be in control of the situation i.e. you and your free time...

Unicow · 22/05/2016 14:53

I wouldn't risk it. You are likely to still be over legal limit. It's unsafe. He needs to learn to parent and drop her, get her a taxi, put her on a bus.

AyeAmarok · 22/05/2016 14:59

YANBU.

DailyMailAreAFuckingJoke · 22/05/2016 15:40

No. If the agreement was that he would drop her and you are still over the limit from the night before, then he needs to drive her.

MrsSpecter · 22/05/2016 15:45

Heh?? So what was his plan for getting her home? Or had he always intended to just leave her for you to collect? How does he normally manage?

Original poster

Emochild · 22/05/2016 16:18

He usually uses his mum as child care

I go out maybe twice a year -think he just likes to ruin things for me

He dropped her off, don't know if he was late or not -not my problem

OP posts:

pearlylum · 22/05/2016 16:34

i feel sorry for the poor kid stuck in the middle here

Original poster

Emochild · 22/05/2016 16:43

I've been and collected dd on more than one occasion in the middle of the night because either he's been ill or she has been ill

I cancel plans at the last minute because he has let her down

She knows i'm here for her -but i'm not going to break the law and potentially kill someone by driving when there is alcohol in my system -I don't drink at all when I am in sole care so me saying no is an incredibly rare occurrence

OP posts:

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 22/05/2016 17:21

If there is bus why can't she just catch that? He could wait until she gets on it if he's worried.

RandomMess · 22/05/2016 18:33

It's sad but it does seem that it was all about you having been out as he managed to drop her off anyway!

Hopefully he won't bother to try that sort of stunt again.

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