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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be pissed off that dp shared a golliwog picture.

128 replies

MySordidCakeSecret · 21/05/2016 21:07

because "he sees nothing wrong with it" Hmm

amongst other things that have pissed me off.. using the word retard, pushing our sons face into his ice cream for a laugh, and then calling me boring because i said any drifting in a car would have to be done on a race track and not the roads.

Feel like i'm living with a teenager.

OP posts:
Costacoffeeplease · 21/05/2016 21:42

So it's not acceptable to you. What does that mean practically?

Sparklingbrook · 21/05/2016 21:42

Enough of the teenager comparisons.

Purplemonkeydishwasherpimp · 21/05/2016 21:43

I've got the full set of golliwog badges from Robertsons jam in the 90s and I think they're ace..

Maybe I'm childish but I'd think you're being a wee bit uptight about what you've said above.

Original poster
MySordidCakeSecret · 21/05/2016 21:45

yeah he likes to hang around with bachelors.. who also think i'm "boring" funnily enough because i don't value alcohol highly.

I don't know what to do because we're two totally different people. I can't see us ever getting married.. i can't see much of a future. But I also feel a bit trapped, and too anxious about the huge overhaul that splitting up would invoke. Sometimes i almost want him to do something "big" like cheat so it would make things easier and i could go through with it. Without something like that, he brushes these thins off as so minor that it makes me feel like i'm over-reacting and i don't trust my resolve.

OP posts:
Marymaymay · 21/05/2016 21:45

Yeah Purple Monkey, vintage reminders of racism are AWESOME!!

ThoraGruntwhistle · 21/05/2016 21:45

Once he's aware that golliwogs and the word retard are offensive, he should be able to accept that and stop it. It doesn't matter if he 'sees nothing wrong' with them, to continue with it after that point is childish and bigoted.

Original poster
MySordidCakeSecret · 21/05/2016 21:46

the way i see it is what is the point of sharing an image like that, oher than to be inflammatory. It's inconsiderate.

OP posts:
Purplemonkeydishwasherpimp · 21/05/2016 21:51

Mary the golliwog didn't originate as a racist caricature, but is a direct descendent of the Dutch mythological character Zwart Piet.

Purplemonkeydishwasherpimp · 21/05/2016 21:53

I probably wouldn't share any pictures like that, and these badges are in a draw somewhere - they're more of a keepsake (my nan used to get me them from the jam) to remind me of her.

Unknownname · 21/05/2016 21:54

My parents had no idea that a golliwog was racist, it just hadn't crossed their mind. I wouldn't be too uptight about that but when I mentioned it they were mortified.

The fact he doesn't get it now you have told him is horrible and childish!

Yellowbird54321 · 21/05/2016 21:55

OP get rid and move on - I'm as sure as I can be that your life will be better without him.

Costacoffeeplease · 21/05/2016 21:58

You don't need a 'big' reason to leave - if you're unhappy, that's enough, don't grasp at random straws to try and justify it - you want out, and that's ok

whoopthereitis · 21/05/2016 22:16

Ahh, this ole chestnut

SlowJinn · 21/05/2016 22:23

Zwarte Piet is a racist caricature though.

Marymaymay · 21/05/2016 22:27

Oh, right Purple, I see.

So that must make collecting Nazi swastikas ok because the origin was not inherently racist.

gamerchick · 21/05/2016 22:35

Well the goliwog picture doesn't bother me, I have one identical to that picture and he's treasured by the husband. But coupled with everything else you say he just sounds like he's generally unpleasent and likes to go against the wind and be a knob for the sake of it.

iLikeBoringThings · 21/05/2016 22:42

Well, personally, i think you are massively overreacting!

I still have 3 golliwogs that i was given as a child. I honestly fail to see how a golliwog can be deemed racist unless referred to/used in a deliberate and specifically racist way. It's political correctness gone mad - the same as my nieces nursery now singing 'Baa Baa woolly sheep' instead of black sheep. Madness!

As for the ice cream in DS's face, was your son emotionally/physically scarred for life by this? Or did he find it hilarious and share a funny moment with his father? Jeez OP, lighten up - it was ice cream not a bowl of broken glass!

I agree that the use of the word 'retard' is unnecessary though.

ilovesooty · 21/05/2016 22:43

Oh dear. "Political correctness" again.

SalemSaberhagen · 21/05/2016 22:47

www.ferris.edu/jimcrow/golliwog/

Read that Purple.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 21/05/2016 22:51

You're living with a child abusing racist arsehole. I don't know about a " teenager".

iLikeBoringThings · 21/05/2016 22:54

FFS...'child abusing racist arsehole'?
Seriously?!

Just5minswithDacre · 21/05/2016 22:58

He sounds wearing.

CrowyMcCrowFace · 21/05/2016 23:11

Wearing, racist, & frankly socially inept.

I'd be binning him immediately for being a dimwitted racist, but 'is routinely a complete twat in public & tends to cause much cringing, spoiling things all round' would be sufficient also.

Pipbin · 21/05/2016 23:47

Jeez OP, lighten up - it was ice cream not a bowl of broken glass!

It was an unpleasant, bullying thing to do. Yes he wasn't hurt but a physical pain isn't the only way to hurt someone.

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