Can I just come in and scream please!!! 3yr olds tantrums driving me insane!

[Scicilly]

I love both my sons beyond words but ds2 (just turned 3) is so bloomin difficult at the moment - I'm absolutely done in. It is full on screaming, shouting, kicking, punching, at anything which he slightly disagrees with. So for example I blinked, its sunny, the ketchup is in a big bottle and not a small one, he's not as tall as his brother, his brother is playing nicely with something he wants, it goes on and on and on... he can full on scream for over 45mins at a time and I'm exhausted. We try moving past things, distraction, choices, being firm, being gentle... He wakes up 5-6 times a night and just on full demand constantly. Inbetween tantrums he is the loveliest, kindest, gentle, thoughtful little boy - he is happy, very confident, intelligent, funny, creative, imaginative but just such a handful!!
Not expecting advice just needed a space to vent for two minutes before next tantrum starts.....

He sounds highly sensitive so small things to you are massive to him. The sun shining might be a nuisance to you but painful to him. Try googling the highly sensitive child and see if anything rings true. It totally changed my relationship with my son

One really good tip I found when my ds was having tantrums was to give loads of attention and praise when he wasn't having a tantrum. So if he's quietly playing go up to him and say how wonderful he is to be playing so nicely...or if you're out shopping or something and he isn't having a tantrum then tell him how you are so proud that he is walking around sensibly and how much you're enjoying taking him out when he's so well behaved. It really worked for me.

alasalas that sounds like an utter nightmare!

Nearly 3-year-old DS2 also decided everything pisses him off today. He has settled down a little now but I think that's more sheer exhaustion than a mood change.

He is currently sitting on the sofa watching Curious George with a look on his face that makes me think he wishes bad things for that poor monkey.

Is it bedtime yet?

We're on the lion guard and he seems very close to dropping off now... DH had to go out as I really think he'd had enough (had him most the afternoon).

I'm sending you these .

I know exactly how you feel. My 3yr old has been up since 4:45 she has screamed at me spat at me, thrown things at me. Tried to walk to town got as far as down the steps (1st floor) she was annoyed that the door downstairs was open -man fixing said door. Then noticed daddy had the car so threw a massive tantrum screaming shouting throwing herself on the floor, tried talking calmly as people where looking for her to hit me kick me (currently 10wks pregnant but she doesn't know this) and tried to bite me. I admit by this point I did pick her up still kicking me took her up stairs where she then screamed even more because we weren't going for a walk. To have the rest of the day still being screamed at. She has currently just tipped out her whole money box of coins and told me to pick them up! I have said no so she throwing them around. Normally in bed by now but can't even get her in there so she can wait now till Daddy comes home

Sorry about my rant made me feel a tad better.
to all thoses who need it

And he's asleep.

Oh lovewatching I'm with you completely! It is exhausting isn't it... here's for an easier day tomorrow!

We are (fingers crossed) coming to an end of 7 weeks of hell with ds1. He's 3.5 and for the last 7 weeks refused to have anyone but me do anything for him. Refused to go to nursery or grannies house (both which he loves). Refused to eat food given to him by anyone else. Failure to comply resulted in the biggest tantrums I've ever seen lasting from 30 seconds to an hour (with me sat on stairs crying in despair)

Then suddenly it stopped. As if nothing ever happened. Been a week now without any. In fact if anything he's lovelier than ever. There is hope

Oh thank god its not just mine! My 3yo dd has always tantrumed very intensely, started young too. She is definitely highly sensitive (as am I) so I have coped so far reasonably well by empathising while sticking to the boundary I'm trying to set and can usually stay calm. The rages at the moment though are on a new level of intensity - and the violence! She is very strong indeed (you'd never think it to look at her, she's built like a racing snake) and she kicked me in the face today while I was putting her shoes on. I lost it after three days of awful tantrums and pushed her away from me, so shge was screaming the whole way to nursery and hysterical when I left her. I Almost burst into tears in the nursery office.

I never wanted to be this kind of parent, I hate it! I'm sure that's making me crosser so I get more frustrated with her

and for you fellow threenager sufferers!

for you! If he is somewhere safe, can you just ignore him? This was always the most effective for mine. Give attention to the other child, throw an indifferent "are you finished yet?" over your shoulder every now and again. When I was alone, I'd get my phone out and say, "I'm just going to read my book, let me know when you're finished."

love the answer to that in this house is "if I pick it up, I keep it!" Works a charm, never seen them tidy so fast :)

Tomorrow is another day...