WIBU to report this person to her bosses for what she said?

[WelshDragonMam]

There's a small, privately owned pub/restaurant in my town and I, my DM & her DP have known most of the family that own it for over 15 years, and my DH has known the family for about 10 years. One of the reasons why DH & I go there is that it's generally pretty family friendly and we know all the staff.

I haven't been there for a while because DD (3) has been in the difficult "not wanting to sit down anywhere" phase and combined with her appalling sleeping since birth means that I'm often exhausted if I take her anywhere on my own and I admit that this has meant that I'd let her have a little run around if there were no, or very few other customers around.

The other weekend, I had a chat with a close friend about another, unrelated, subject but concerning an argument about mutual friends/acquaintances that occurred at the same venue. Friend then turned around (because I was digging about "X" who was involved in the argument) and said "I didn't want to say anything, but X said that (Bar Manager) told her that you (me) can't control (DD) and you let her run riot". Friend defended the evening in question (a few months ago) to X that the Bar Manager told X about, because Friend had been playing peekaboo with DD and trying to help me out by keeping DD away from this really weird woman who started trying to make conversation and even PICKED HER UP IN FRONT OF ME(!!!) while I was exhausted after a week of being ill and was having a soft drink before I fell over.

WIBU to speak to the owners about the Bar Manager basically bitching about me to another customer that I barely know? Haven't told DH about this because he's already pissed off with the Bar Manager for fucking up a promo event for his work the other month by doing no prep work what-so-ever even though she'd been present at the meeting where it was arranged, so I'm trying to keep a neutral perspective to this, but she's really pissed me off.

(Thinking of saying something along the lines of "When (Bar Manager who is also not a parent) can control (DD) for 10 minutes while she has a drink after over 3 years of broken sleep, holding down a full time job, having to get the union involved due to bullying by managers, retraining for new job after 13 years in old job, as well as being on the waiting list for counselling at the MH clinic, then she can fucking well bitch about me behind my back discuss me & my parenting skills to random strangers.")

Oh FGS this has got to be another wind up .

Is this an eastenders plot or something?

It doesn't matter how many customers there were your child should not be running or skipping around.

Oh dear, no one and I mean no one loves your kid as much as you.

Likewise NO ONE wants to sit in a family friendly pub and put up with your kid causing mayhem.

'about to keel over', attempted abduction of Wonder Child, Himalayan slogs uphill, it's all so very dramatic in your world.

Somebody further up the thread asked her to explain the WW (weird woman) she had mentioned in the OP so I guess this is the explanation. Give the OP a break, she sounds exhausted.

Weird woman was probably a bit pissed, what with it being a bar. She doesn't sound threatening.

If it's not in your eyes a suitable environment for dd (what with weird women & chuntering staff), don't take her in there.

Honestly, they won't miss your custom to the tune of two soft drinks, & you'll avoid getting wound up about it.

Besides, if it's weird women this week, by next it'll be Banquo's Ghost hogging the stools.

Just as I'd sat down with a drink for DD & I (away from Friend & her friends - got a carton of juice for DD in the hope she'd stay still)

So your method of parenting has nothing to do with discipline but bribery with a drink in the vain hope that your child would sit still?

Don't get the point of the update? Sounds like a crap place to take a child.

So your method of parenting has nothing to do with discipline but bribery with a drink in the vain hope that your child would sit still?

Much as the OP sounds irritating, I think most parents will have done this at some point or another. It was a carton of juice, not a vat of Haribo!

Well her bosses will think you are a loon. They don't police her personal interactions with her friends. This all sounds a bit childish: she said/he said/ an ongoing drama/argument, fishing for details... I wouldn't lose any sleep over any of it. Also, get your coffee to go next time and let DD run around the park if she needs to let off steam. Our kids are annoying to other people who aren't us. I vaguely remember this from my previous life before kids.

having worked in plenty of pubs, if thats all your DD was doing, and you and your friends were the only ones in there, i wouldn't have batted an eyelid.

But then the places i worked in were quite family friendly and had no objection to kids roaming around as long as they weren't being a nuisance.

I think some posters are being quite harsh on that front.

That being said, i don't think you can really say anything because its a bit 'he said/she said' third hand.

Oh good heavens. How can you find the energy to be worried about this?

This is great.

WW......yes i think so too!!!!

With this and the "that sounds irritating" thread, its rather worrying how innocuous a comment people are considering reporting others for in the UK.

Yabu

Also, take your kid to a park/soft play if they want to run around.

Just to clarify - X wasn't there during the WW incident, friend who relayed X's conversation with Bar Manager was there and was party to all that occurred?

Was friend also there when the reported conversation between BM and X took place, was friend also party to all that occurred in this instance?

Why were you digging about X in the first place?

DD's crap sleeping strikes again & can't get back to sleep.

Reason why I was digging about X should be irrelevant, but she has been causing problems with other mutual friends of Friend & I (she is however close to Friend). Was digging because I wanted to know if I was next on her list (even though I barely know the woman, but she hardly knows some of the others that she's caused problems for).

Couldn't take DD to soft play or park - was 5.30pm in January - must have been a Saturday evening if I'd been out with DD in the day. Park closed (dark), and no soft play for miles (can't drive - ability to drive would have meant that this whole thing would never have happened in the first place). Only reason I went in to the pub with DD at that time was to get something to drink and because it was empty apart from people I knew. I've only taken DD in there once since that evening, in the afternoon as part of a family group. Also only been in a handful of times myself when been out.

emotionsecho - X was not present at the original incident. Friend was not there when the conversation took place , but was at the original incident. Friend had been talking to X about problems X had been causing about one mutual friend, and X came out saying that BM had told her about that evening and said that I couldn't control my child (although BM wouldn't have seen the picking up).

expatinscotland - 'about to keel over', attempted abduction of Wonder Child, Himalayan slogs uphill, - Yes,was exhausted. No, I did not say that there was an attempted abduction (and DD is no bloody Wonder Child, especially when she's being a little git on her second wind), and there are many steep hills where I live (Wales).

Just not happy about the BM bitching about me behind my back to random customers, while being all smiley & asking after DD to my face.

YABU.

Even if she did say it (which you don't know either way) it does sound from your OP and updates as though you can't control your kid tbh. So she was basically correct. And even if she wasn't, no good will come of reporting - you will look like a loon.

Maybe just don't go there again?

January?

Fgs.

Stop being a drama queen. None of this is a big deal. I just don't get it.

And yes, people talk. Especially if you're letting your child run around under their feet while they're trying to work.

So is this fateful January night the only time you've ever let her run around? As you are focussing so much on your excuses for that day.