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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I helped a guy with a flat battery in the car park

109 replies

MrsSeanBean · 16/05/2016 18:42

Here's the scenario. I was leaving McDonald's (don't judge me for that!) with DS recently, when a man asked me if I can help him jump start his car as his battery is flat. I said I didn't have any leads ... he interjected that was no problem as he did have leads. So I opened the car bonnet, he connected his leads and started his engine. Problem solved, no more than a couple of minutes of my time lost...or so I thought.

On mentioning this to DH today he nearly spat out his dinner, and said what a fool I was, what a cheek the guy had, he must need a new battery, why was he driving around with a dodgy battery, he should have called his recovery company, and that he (DH) would never dream of asking anyone to help etc etc

I said 'but what if he (guy in car park) doesn't have enough money for a new battery right now, and likewise doesn't have a recovery company? And what had I to lose?

DH then proceeded to tell me that he could have wrecked the car and caused a lot of damage if he'd connected the leads wrongly.

It didn't occur to me that I did anything except the reasonable and helpful thing to do. But given DH's (to me, very odd) response I am now wondering if I am some kind of gullible freak.

Over to you, wise MNers...

OP posts:
Original poster
MrsSeanBean · 16/05/2016 22:32

marriednotdead, sorry meant to say yes - you are spot on and I can't understand DH's attitude in that respect!

OP posts:
thatorchidmoment · 16/05/2016 22:46

Is this hysteria for real?

Murder? Cannibalism? Toasted cars?

You did a good thing OP. I'd have been so grateful in that chap's shoes.

YANBU.

That is all.
Smile

UnderTheGreenwoodTree · 16/05/2016 22:53

Well yes, the 'beware helping anyone because... Ted Bundy' is a bit much.

BeALert · 16/05/2016 23:02

It's all very well telling people to wait for the AA to come out, but sometimes (especially if it's bad weather) you can be waiting hours in a cold car.

Having been in that situation I now know how to jump start a car and I carry cables, and if someone needs help I provide it.

lolapierce · 16/05/2016 23:30

I don't think you did anything wrong personally. You were just helping someone out with a flat battery that's all. I guess your husband was just concerned that's all. He sounds like hes over reacting.

Lovelydiscusfish · 16/05/2016 23:40

I'm a non-driver, but a kindly older lady at work showed me how to jump start cars correctly (she was asked numerous times to do if, as she had jump leads in her boot, and also often had one of the last vehicles on the staff car park.)
I'm thankful, firstly that I've been taught to connect the leads up correctly (though I still check carefully( and secondly that people have been kind enough to jump start me and my friends, or me and my dh.
Otherwise I would now be making a home on the top of a Sainsbury's multi-storey.

Newmanwannabe · 17/05/2016 00:53

I personally wouldn't have done it. Jump starting can mess up your electrics, and I wouldn't risk my car for that, cars are different to 20 years ago. Nowadays roadside assist is so available he could call them, Or a friend... Everyone has mobiles nowadays (unlike 20 years ago when you had to rely on strangers).

Also I wouldn't have done it for personal safety reasons why is he asking a woman to herself in a carpark with a small child

And before anyone flames me for that, half the thread is accusing OP's partner of jealous controlling behaviour...

sykadelic · 17/05/2016 01:15

I'm all about helping people but unfortunately I know too much now and my car is too small

My car has a small battery, a small engine and a small alternator. It could really damage my vehicle, depending on what kind of vehicle I'm needing to jump, anything bigger than mine can really screw it up.

Also, FWIW, it's not a good idea to let anyone pull me (and this new car) out of a ditch like I did a few winters ago with my pick-up. My DH's friend let a guy help him and he attached it to the wrong place and ended up causing WAY more damage than was already done.

Moral of the story - being nice isn't always the best thing (I'd offer to call someone for him or something instead).

sykadelic · 17/05/2016 01:18

* To clarify - it's not just about connecting to the correct terminals, it's also about making sure your vehicle (battery etc) are big enough to support the draw the other vehicle is going to pull on it... and you didn't specify which vehicle each of you had.

My DH would have had a similar reaction but it would have been out of concern for my vehicle (and my safety), not about the guy being brass necked.

Iknownuffink · 17/05/2016 01:46

Well done OP.
You helped a fellow human being in need.

MattDillonsPants · 17/05/2016 02:01

I'm wary of helping men out OP....I would if it was a busy car park in the day but not in an isolated area.

limitedperiodonly · 17/05/2016 06:57

Is this hysteria for real? Murder? Cannibalism? Toasted cars?

Oh it is, ThatOrchidMoment. I know someone who flew into angry hysterics when she discovered her mother had been stopped by a uniformed police officer in a busy mainline station in broad daylight and asked a few questions about a missing person.

How did she know the officer was for real? Did she show her warrant card? She could have been anyone (Remember that bit about her being in full uniform?). She could have got that uniform from a fancy dress shop (yes, she really said this) and been acting as a lure for a killer - hadn't you heard of Myra Hindley? Her mother was gullible, not to be trusted out alone and guilty of worrying her by acting so recklessly. She should stay at home in front of Countdown This was a woman in her 80s in full command of her faculties in a crowded public place, not a vulnerable child.

Mad. I don't have an opinion on toasted cars but I bet she does Grin.

Original poster
MrsSeanBean · 17/05/2016 08:10

This potentially damaging cars thing is all new to me.

I'm a child of the 70s and I guess it was a common thing which seemed to happen then. I have a VW golf and the guy had a Vauxhall type people carrier (with several children in it).

My car seems fine (except for the mysterious occasional squeaking...)

OP posts:
whois · 17/05/2016 08:19

Hope you DH is never in the position of needing a jump start then!

oliviaclottedcream · 17/05/2016 08:58

Your DP is overreacting. All you did was help someone out, with no risk to yourself or your car. If you were in that situation and all you needed was a jump start then you'd thank your lucky stars that there are people as kind as you are.

MakingJudySmile · 17/05/2016 09:03

To be fair the potential for damaging your car does exist. It is also more likely than you being eaten by the person who's car you jump started.

limitedperiodonly · 17/05/2016 10:36

My car seems fine (except for the mysterious occasional squeaking...)

Sounds ominous. Do you think he may have used the flat battery story as a distraction technique so a murderous dwarf could hop into your car? It's a cross between the classic horror Don't Look Now and various urban legends from Snopes. It could happen.

LikeDylanInTheMovies · 17/05/2016 10:43

I'd say the squeaking is a specially trained kamikaze Guinea Pig he's placed in the glove box. Next time you open it, it will fly out and attach itself to your face.

LizzieMacQueen · 17/05/2016 10:48

I too think he fancied you....did he offer to buy you a coffee?

MackerelOfFact · 17/05/2016 10:55

You don't need a new battery if yours is flat, WTF is your DH on about?! He'd probably left his interior light on or something voice of bitter experience.

You did a nice thing. Telling him to jog on and buy a new battery or call the AA would be pretty twattish when you had the time, knowledge and battery power to help him on his way.

If it had been the other way round and you'd been the one with a flat battery, would he prefer it if the guy had refused?!

MiffleTheIntrovert · 17/05/2016 10:57

I will be teaching my DCs (both DDs and DSs) how to jump start correctly, change a tyre, check oil etc etc. I will also try and teach them not to marry people who aren't kind. (If you're kind, everything else follows IMO) I think that should cover it Grin

Op, I would start another thread as it sounds this isn't just about the jump starting.

Degustibusnonestdisputandem · 17/05/2016 10:57

Geez, as the former owner of a shitbox car I always help out people if I can. In fact used my jump-start pack just outside our house a few months back.

YorkieDorkie · 17/05/2016 11:37

Let's hope your DH doesn't need the help of a kind stranger in future. He'd have to refuse help out of principal Hmm.

DixieNormas · 17/05/2016 11:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

creativevoid · 17/05/2016 12:12

I haven't read the full thread but when I read your post I thought of my own emotionally abusive ex. He found something to have a go at me about no matter what I did. I remember one time I won a child's football strip for a team we don't support, 5 sizes too big for my son. I gave it to a boy who was clearly desperate for it, and who was delighted. When I told ex-H he gave me a rollicking. I am conscious I now see EA everywhere so wasn't going to post but I saw your subsequent posts and I would encourage you to look at his behaviour in the round and share it with others in RL. I told bits and pieces so only one friend had any idea how bad it really was. Good luck to you OP.