I helped a guy with a flat battery in the car park

[MrsSeanBean]

Here's the scenario. I was leaving McDonald's (don't judge me for that!) with DS recently, when a man asked me if I can help him jump start his car as his battery is flat. I said I didn't have any leads ... he interjected that was no problem as he did have leads. So I opened the car bonnet, he connected his leads and started his engine. Problem solved, no more than a couple of minutes of my time lost...or so I thought.

On mentioning this to DH today he nearly spat out his dinner, and said what a fool I was, what a cheek the guy had, he must need a new battery, why was he driving around with a dodgy battery, he should have called his recovery company, and that he (DH) would never dream of asking anyone to help etc etc

I said 'but what if he (guy in car park) doesn't have enough money for a new battery right now, and likewise doesn't have a recovery company? And what had I to lose?

DH then proceeded to tell me that he could have wrecked the car and caused a lot of damage if he'd connected the leads wrongly.

It didn't occur to me that I did anything except the reasonable and helpful thing to do. But given DH's (to me, very odd) response I am now wondering if I am some kind of gullible freak.

Over to you, wise MNers...

AustenOzzy

You are wrong. Black and red both need to be connected to the dead battery.

My Dh is a mechanic and even though he has shown me how to jump a car properly he said not try, or let anyone else as it can cause damage if done wrong.
You were very nice to help him OP, but first thing I thought of was Ted Bundy.
He was a nice looking pleasant guy who would ask women to help him do things like loosen lug nut trying to change a tyre while wearing a fake sling. Then murdered them.

Let's hope your DH needs someone with jump leads soon!
I'd have done exactly the same as you and not given it another thought. He sounds very unfriendly and unreasonable to say the least?

We always do this if there are people in need and we have the wherewithal to help them. Which reminds me, need to ask the OH which lead goes where as it's a long time since the last time..
You are clearly a normal person, OP and your DH (along with MrsGuyofGisbo) is clearly not.

Some of the time I drive a 1967 VW, and have been helped to start many a time. I also keep jump leads in my 2015 car and help out wherever needed. Your husband sounds like a dick.

you can damage a car by cocking this up - and some people are adamant that they know how to do it when they don't.

I think I drive the oldest car on mumsnet but it still has lights on alarms. Just had a new battery for £35 by shopping around.

and £50 a year for full breakdown cover isn't hard if you can afford to run the thing

my answer would also be 'no' - but I can and have lent my phone when the other person's i-brick had no signal. 8p a minute, my contribution to his cause.

All men are of course arrogant and all women are silly fools with pink handbags. Don't like one of those statements? Don't make the other.

Duck- it would work your way but the risk of igniting gases given off by the battery are increased. You'd better write to the aa, rac, Haynes, halgords et al to tell them they're all wrong.

Austen's right, Duck. You earth the black lead on the dead car.

www.halfords.com/advice/motoring/how-to-guides/how-to-jump-start-a-car-guide-video

Maybe your dh was trying to protect your own interests rather than those of a stranger. I've never needed to jumpstart a car but I would be very very cautious of allowing a stranger to do it to my car. I would have probably said no.

You can damage your car doing it. That would seriously suck.

xposted ⚡⚡

A friend of a friend once tried to jump start one of his cars from the other - one car went up in flames! Apparently this was due to one of the cars being much more powerful than the other?

My husband used to have a car that needed jumping a lot. He always used to ask other men and I called him out on it asking why we tiny brained women couldn't possibly jump start his car for him. He was horrified and said it was because he didn't want women to think he was going to murder them, not because he was being sexist haha!

My first reaction was to say 'Be careful. He could have tried to rob your purse/attack you/wahtever awful thing'
But in a car park, in full day light? With his children at the back of the car? Yes you did right.

Livinia- some cables are only rated to certain engine sizes, and voltages need to be the same too! You can learn so much off the box the jump leads come in!

Your DH sounds more worrying than the guy in the car park tbh

I've given a stranger a jump start before. Yy you need to know how to connect the leads but it's hardly brain surgery. And it's a massive leap for your DH to assume that it means the guy needed a new battery as a PP said, he could just have left lights on. Your DH is an arse

That's normal. Not so common now that we all scream for the AA/nearest garage if something goes wrong, but back when I was a nipper it seems the streets were full of cars wired up to each other.

I asked DH and he did confirm that it could be an issue depending on the size of the OP's battery and the size of the other guy battery. Apparently it can adamage the electronic control system of your car. (DH works in that area so a reliable source of information btw)

I've learnt something today.

• to +

• to -

Dont see whats hard about that

Surely knowing how to jump start is a basic of motoring.
As is knowing whether or not you can bump start a car.

Also everyone should know how to open their bonnet
How to check the oil levels
How to top up the oil
How to check the wash bottle
How to top up the wash bottle
How to check the radiator levels
where to put coolant for the radiator and which coolant to use ( red for my Transit)

I wonder how your DH would have responded had a woman been asking for your help instead?

He's overreacting, though the being concerned for your car bit isn't unusual. My dad had concerns about jump starting my grandma's car a while back, but from the PoV he hadn't had to do that in a while and was concerned he would damage either his car or my grandma's.

A flat bat doesnt mean you need a new bat. When i first brought my car in march 2014 i did not drive for 4 days. The bat died. I got a jump start has never happened again.

However i have read that it can damage if it is done wrong.
I helped some guy today too who was stuck on the motor way, his car over heated and battery died. End of the day if you needed help you would want someone to stop. Its stressful when you break down. Happened to me once when i first started driving i cried, was in the middle of west end. Some fremch guys helped me. Bless em

Your dh is an absolute dick.
I have given and got jump starts. I've also helped a guy change a tyre.

WOW he's a self important drama queen!

Anyone with a set of jump leads in their car will know how to put them on properly. They are colour coded ffs!

Cant believe your dh is as dumb as to want to wait possibly hours for a breakdown guy when 2 minutes would do!

Hope nobody has the misfortune to ask him for help at any time..

I have been on the receiving end of help from strangers and also giving of it. What goes around comes around

(Of course maybe he doesnt know how to put jump leads on and wouldnt want anyone to know this hence the waiting for the AA guy to come )

People saying + to + and. - to minus should read the instructions again, and take care if the cars are of v different voltages. Other than that, well yes I would, have, and will continue to help with a simple jump start if asked.

Marriednotdead: I just cannot get my head around that sort of non-reciprocal attitude!

Posters worried he might have mugged / robbed / murdered me etc, it's very kind of you to be concerned. But my gut wasn't sending danger signals, and it was broad daylight in a very busy car park... [ plus I could have taken him down if I'd needed to ;) ]