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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Splitting the cost of a holiday cottage with family and friends - AIBU?

85 replies

ThursdayAlready2 · 16/05/2016 11:21

DH and I are hoping to go away with friends/relatives this Christmas, and rent a cottage somewhere nice. The cottage will need five bedrooms, and we’ve found quite a few places that have potential. But we’ve hit a stumbling block with costs ……..

Let’s say the total cost is £1000 for five nights, and there are five couples, each couple occupying one bedroom. These aren’t the actual figures, but they do illustrate my point. I’d assumed we’d split £1000 equally between us, so £200 per couple. Simple? No …….

One couple said they may only stay four nights, so could they pro-rata their £200 payment to reflect less nights. Then another couple asked if they could do the same, and then my brother announced he may not be bringing his girlfriend, so could he only pay £100 rather than £200 as there’s now one person in his room and not two!!!

My question to all of them, was: “if you pay a reduced contribution, are you expecting everyone else to pay extra to cover this”? Silence all round.

When I eventually got hold of my brother, he seemed to think that as DH and I would be making the booking, that we would somehow be acting as hoteliers and stumping up the whole cost, and then sort of selling each room to the wider group on an “only pay for what you use” basis. Which isn’t how I’d envisaged it at all. I thought it was an “we’re all in this together” arrangement, where all the costs were split equally five ways, and if you only want to use your room for 4 nights, then that’s your prerogative but don’t expect the rest of the group to subsidise you.

DH and I quickly realised this has got disaster written all over it, and are now seriously considering making other plans, but as the initial invitation had been “shall we rent a cottage and split the costs between us” – AIBU to think everyone else is being unreasonable ??????

OP posts:
mygorgeousmilo · 17/05/2016 20:24

YANBU at all... What a ridiculous notion to suggest pro rata!

Iknownuffink · 17/05/2016 21:21

Who is responsible for food and cooking?

Is that included?

Sounds like a nightmare to me.

Gide · 17/05/2016 21:37

Well done on pulling out. I've already had this this year with family. The organiser-fair play, he booked, found the house etc, told us it cost more than it did, I paid, then found out it was actually less. I wasn't thrilled and mentioned it, only to be told he was out of pocket having paid the whole lot all at once and he's paid more than someone else. Dunno how this is my problem or how or why someone paid less than us?

onecurrantbun1 · 17/05/2016 21:47

I feel so lucky whenever I read these threads about group holidays. I've organised 8 or so for a group of 18-20 friends. I just do a price for the weekend including food, with a small (£10ish?) Contingency per person built in. The contingency money has never been needed and has been either given back, used to pay for a seal spotting trip and put towards a meal out. Never had any issues... thus far! I plan everything with a choice of a few different houses depending on responses and present it as an in / out choice.

You are wise to pull out in this instance. You need an awful lot of goodwill for a group holiday to work imho.

bettytaghetti · 17/05/2016 21:54

YANBU and glad you've made the brave decision to pull out!

One of my pet peeves with group holidays is you always get those who want to leave a day early so that they get out of doing the final clear up. Grr!

MidniteScribbler · 18/05/2016 01:40

Shared holidays are only successful if everyone is already on the same page. There's only one couple and a single that I'll share with as I know we'll all get along and won't argue about money. We've got a house booked next week and will split it between us equally (couple pays double what each single pays). We also don't argue with food, the couple have already messaged me and asked what wine I want for the first night, and I've asked what they want for dinner. We'll end up doing the same most of the week - someone buys the food, someone else buys the wine, it all balances out fairly evenly at the end. Unless you know the people going with you are all on the same page, then it hardly sounds like a relaxing holiday to me.

crazywriter · 18/05/2016 08:16

Sounds like a pain. Us and put parents went away and got a big cottage. ILs have a bigger family than the rest of us but we all just split the cost 3 ways despite us all needing different amount of rooms for different amount of nights. Us and my parents were leaving earlier than ILs. No fights and no awkward maths.

Xmas is always a problem. I'm looking forward to this year with no guests. Every year we've said well go away for Xmas and this year were doing it to get away from drama.

ThursdayAlready2 · 18/05/2016 14:48

I said up-thread that I emailed round the wider group, saying that our plan was clearly going to be problematic, so we'd decided not to go ahead.

One person came back and said "that's a shame - I would offer to organise it myself, but me and DH can't afford to risk being left out of pocket" - which is a bit rich as she was clearly happy to leave ME out of pocket !!!!

I honestly think the whole family was expecting DH and I to hire an enormous place for Christmas, with everyone else then at liberty to drop in and out on an "as/when/if/maybe not" basis - I'm so pleased we backed out!

OP posts:
teatowel · 18/05/2016 15:15

I had to back out from organising one of these get togethers too. Couples want to come on these holidays and that dictates the size of the house. They can't go home early and expect others to pay for their empty room. If they don't like that ,they should not go at all and let those who want a week away get a smaller house. Trying to book a house for less than a week at Christmas is almost impossible. Not surprisingly owners want to maximise their profits.

expatinscotland · 18/05/2016 18:16

'So many people I know really begrudge/can't paying £30plus before they've even started their night out, thus don't do it.'

The only way to deal with pisstakers like this is not to give them an opportunity.

Book somewhere nice for you two.

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