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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My drunken bum of a husband has fallen asleep in the back of the car...I have left him there...AIBU?

83 replies

LolaCrapola · 15/05/2016 00:01

I tried three times to stir him to get him indoors but to no avail....I had real children to put to bed. Hmm

I have also locked the front door 'cos I don't want to risk being burgled -be woken up in the night-

AIBU?

OP posts:
ophiotaurus · 15/05/2016 00:23

If a husband left his wife drunk in the car, locked out of the house and went to bed there would be an uproar.

notapizzaeater · 15/05/2016 00:24

I'd pop water, sick bowl and blankets and go to bed

WorraLiberty · 15/05/2016 00:24

What if I fell asleep in the car or I was sitting in the back?

It depends on the circumstances leading up to it. If somebody else had driven the vehicle, and has merely got out and left you in it, and you were not aware of this, you are not in charge. If, however, you had, by your own means got into the car you would have been in charge and remain in charge.

www.drinkdrivinglaw.co.uk/offences/in_charge_of_a_vehicle_with_excess_alcohol.htm

PaulAnkaTheDog · 15/05/2016 00:25

That's very true actually ophio. Anything short of providing breakfast in bed the next day would be seen as cunty.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 15/05/2016 00:26

Exactly Ophio

PaulAnkaTheDog · 15/05/2016 00:27

Worra so I was originally correct?! Yaaaaaaaaas!

StickTheDMWhereTheSunDontShine · 15/05/2016 00:27

He's a grown up. Fuck him.

PaulAnkaTheDog · 15/05/2016 00:30

Nice Stick... Hmm

WorraLiberty · 15/05/2016 00:31

Yep Paul and also correct about a police officer having an ounce of common sense Grin

PaulAnkaTheDog · 15/05/2016 00:32

Wooooooo!

BillSykesDog · 15/05/2016 00:33

They can and they do:

m.lancashiretelegraph.co.uk/news/13879462.Drunk_man_found_slumped_over_wheel_of_car_in_Blackburn_Tesco_car_park/

His wife had his keys.

WorraLiberty · 15/05/2016 00:34

I'm also a grown up and during the 15 years I've been with my DH, I have on very rare occasions got completely pissed.

I'm pretty pleased he cares enough about me not to take the 'She's a grown up. Fuck her' attitude.

Then again, I don't think he'd take that attitude about anyone he cared about and nor would I.

Unless they did it regularly, in which case I wouldn't be married to them and nor would he.

BillSykesDog · 15/05/2016 00:35

Worra, the thing is, the onus is actually on the accused person in the case of the offence to prove that the events happened like that. Which isn't necessarily that easy to do.

PaulAnkaTheDog · 15/05/2016 00:35

He was initially in charge of the vehicle though. Not comparable in the slightest.

WorraLiberty · 15/05/2016 00:35

Bill being slumped over the wheel is rather different to being asleep in the back, after the driver has left you there, don't you think?

WorraLiberty · 15/05/2016 00:37

Worra, the thing is, the onus is actually on the accused person in the case of the offence to prove that the events happened like that. Which isn't necessarily that easy to do.

Given that the OP is a witness to the fact her DH wasn't driving and that she left him asleep in the back of the vehicle, I can't see it ever getting to court in the first place, and that's if a police officer happens upon him.

MummySparkle · 15/05/2016 00:37

Leave house unlocked. Surely if the car is parked on your own private property (eg drive) the police can't charge you with anything! Personally I'd turn the car stereo on full blast with the air con on to wake him up and then shove him in the direction of a sofa. Leave with sick bowl and blanket and go to bed

PaulAnkaTheDog · 15/05/2016 00:39

Worra don't be sensible! It doesn't go down well on here.

MaisieDotes · 15/05/2016 00:40

No I wouldn't leave him there, purely because I couldn't be bothered with the row the next day. They never believe that they were difficult to rouse, it's always your fault for leaving them there. Keep shaking him,
he will eventually wake up enough to be dragged inside.

Personally I left tb because life's too short.

RainbowDashian · 15/05/2016 00:42

DH never drinks enough to get drunk but if he did I don't think I could leave him in the car. I'd be worried he choked on his vomit or got hypothermia or something. At least leave him some keys so he can come in himself.

WorraLiberty · 15/05/2016 00:44

True Paul

I'd better take myself off to bed before I get banned Grin

MissingPanda · 15/05/2016 00:48

From the title of the OP is sounds like he has form. Make sure he's lying on his side and chuck a blanket over him.

Do not leave the front door open. I have been burgled with the scumbags breaking in through the front door. I wouldn't put myself and the kids at risk.

Brandnewiggi · 15/05/2016 00:50

It interests me what happens if you get drunk in a campervan. Does that count? I suspect on a campsite it's fine, but if you'd parked up overnight in a lay by you might fall foul of the law.

AcrossthePond55 · 15/05/2016 00:54

I think one of the things that's different about man vs woman is that my DH has the physical ability to get me out of the car and 'drunk walk', carry, or drag me into the house. I do NOT have the ability to do that with him, no way. He's 6'5", I'm 5'5".

So assuming that OP does not have the physical ability to get her DH in the house and he's beyond rousing, what else can she do? It's not right to rouse the whole neighbourhood to wake him (if he can be woken). See that he's warm, has water, a sick bowl, and a cell phone in lieu of car keys.

LetsDoTheYogiBear · 15/05/2016 00:57

Surely if you lock the door OP and he wakes in the night- he will knock on the doors/windows not only potentially disturbing you but your children/neighbours as well. Locking him in will do nothing- he can just unlock it from the inside, no?

Go to bed. Leave door unlocked.